can you borrow the deposit amount she initially loaned you just to get the caveat removed and get off your backs?
what's your credit ratings like?
she definitely sounds controlling, I'd be very hesitant to move in with her.
another thought: is there anyway you could refinance? obtain a proper valuation and find out how much the house is worth. then borrow the amount she loaned you against the house?
she didn't buy the entire property for you did she?