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  1. #1
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    Default My 3.5 year old....

    ... is being a complete turd.

    We are trying to accomodate his feelings upon the new arrival of DD to our family. However, I'm wondering if we are creating an obnoxious child.

    His favourite phrases;

    - go away from me
    - I don't like it
    - no - to everything
    - you're making me sad - when he doesn't get his own way eg: put your shoes away please - I can't im too sad
    - trying to play DH and I off against each other eg: I say no and he starts crying - I want daddy... And vice versa

    His main form of communication is to yell at us and tantrum at anything that he perceives to have not gone his way.

    Help!! We need some strategies which give clear boundaries but also want to be empathetic to the disruption in his life right now but don't want to be taken as suckers.

  2. #2
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    Following, incase my 3.5 yo is the same, having no2 in 3 weeks. Hope you get some good coping strategies.

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    Sounds completely normal to me. Everyone says it's the Terrible Twos but I found the 3's and 4's the worst with DS1.

    We used positive reinforcement and made a big thing of when he was good, we used a sticker chart which we customised with what he was into at the time eg. ninja turtle pictures. When he misbehaved we did the Thinking Corner. Where he was to think about what he had done wrong and what he could have done differently (the latter was more in the 4's)

  4. The Following User Says Thank You to delirium For This Useful Post:

    Rose&Aurelia&Hannah  (25-07-2015)

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    We found ds1 to have behaviour issues when he turned 3 and I think partly it was due to ds2's arrival. We found not making a big fuss of his behaviour and things he said made the episodes less frequent, once he knew he wouldn't get the attention from his bad behaviour. It soon passed.
    Ds2 was totally different, never went through that stage at all and he's 4.5yrs now.
    All kids are different.

  6. #5
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    I've been having a terrible time with my 3.5 yo

    What has worked this week is I bought a cars movie car and had it on the fridge so he could see it and he knew he had to earn it with good behavior and using manners.

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    Try praising every tiny thing that he does well and completely ignoring bad behaviour. I think attention is at the root of behavior like this and they don't really recognise a difference between positive and negative attention. The more attention you pay to the good stuff, the more they want to do it.

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    VicPark  (24-07-2015)

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    We have just started 123 Magic with our 3 year old & so far it's working. You have to be consistent though. It's basically warnings and time out but the book has some great information. I bought it on eBay.

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    Thanks everyone.
    Sleep deprivation is causing me to catastrophise a bit.

    DH and I had a chat and we both agree we need some household changes. So we are going to;

    - cut back screen time (both DS and us when he's not in bed)
    - a visual schedule for DS night routine - we have been very inconsistent with this
    - a warning then time out process for less desirable behaviour
    - less talk and negotiating, he's 3.5 and he needs more action and less discussion
    - lots of positive talk with an emphasis on kindness

    We have committed to 3 days of real consistency from both of us and then we'll re-evaluate.

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    How is DS's day nap? From my experience with my 3.4 year old day changes in day naps are the root of all evil!

    Maybe give a change in routine 1-2 weeks? Not sure 3 days is long enough.

  12. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    How is DS's day nap? From my experience with my 3.4 year old day changes in day naps are the root of all evil!

    Maybe give a change in routine 1-2 weeks? Not sure 3 days is long enough.
    Totally agree about 3 days that was just to ensure our own commitment to starting the changes

    He dropped his day nap a few months ago and handled it pretty well. But it's been hectic here with the new baby and then me being back in hospital earlier in the week so we've dropped the routine/consistency ball. I think he's a kid that needs more structure and clearer boundaries.


 

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