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  1. #11
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    Your name!

    However both parents have to sign the birth registration paperwork and I'm not sure what happens when the parents disagree about the name..?

  2. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by babyno1onboard View Post
    Your name!

    However both parents have to sign the birth registration paperwork and I'm not sure what happens when the parents disagree about the name..?
    He's threatening this to. I really dont want him to make a scene about it once bubs is here. He will be at the birth.

    Im thinking i might offer him the chance to compromise with me for bubs middle name, but im not budging from the surname issue.

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  4. #13
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    I'm going to go slightly against the grain here, not because I disagree with you or think FOB is right (not at all!)... I'm just thinking your baby might want their dad's name attached to theirs at some point. And no matter how awful FOB is, he'll still be the dad of your baby and part of your baby's heritage.

    I'd hyphenate, or just put both last names without a hyphen (like they do in South American/Spanish countries), then when your baby is older they can make a choice of they'd prefer to use one or both etc.

    Good luck OP, I know it's easy for me to make this suggestion - if it was me in your shoes, I think I'd struggle to make the decision without my hurt and anger playing a big part in my decision. Xx

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  6. #14
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    I hate that he has just walked back in and is now trying to call the shots with me. I feel like im being held hostage

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    I would definitely choose another first name, if the one you had both agreed on is creating those feelings in you now, then chances are they will only get worse over time.

  8. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by MrsA2B View Post
    I'm going to go slightly against the grain here, not because I disagree with you or think FOB is right (not at all!)... I'm just thinking your baby might want their dad's name attached to theirs at some point. And no matter how awful FOB is, he'll still be the dad of your baby and part of your baby's heritage.

    I'd hyphenate, or just put both last names without a hyphen (like they do in South American/Spanish countries), then when your baby is older they can make a choice of they'd prefer to use one or both etc.

    Good luck OP, I know it's easy for me to make this suggestion - if it was me in your shoes, I think I'd struggle to make the decision without my hurt and anger playing a big part in my decision. Xx
    I agree with this. He is your sons father, he is an absolute sh1t husband but that doesn't mean he will be a sh1t father and he has every right as his father for his son to have his name. I would compromise and hyphenate, you don't always have to use both names except on legal stuff. I felt very strongly about my son having my last name but so did his father which is understandable so my sons surname is hyphenated. I would pick a new first name but also involve his father in that choice. Imagine someone telling you you had no choice in your sons name, it would be awful. Whilst he may deserve many things for the things he has put you through I don't believe he deserves to have no say in things to do with his son. Always remember your son will be old enough one day to understand things and will ask questions, what will you tell him your reason is for not letting him share his fathers name. I hope you can both come to a compromise for your sons sake.. Good luck OP

  9. #17
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    As i understand it OP, you won't be able to change baby's name later without his agreement, so getting his surname off later would be much harder than adding it on later if you do get back together, iykwim. Good luck with the birth ☺

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  11. #18
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    If he felt remorse about everything he's done, he'd leave the decision up to you. It's just a name. You aren't denying him his child. I would be giving the bub my last name.

    He is not giving himself a good track record

  12. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by heplusme View Post
    I hate that he has just walked back in and is now trying to call the shots with me. I feel like im being held hostage
    Ok this might sound harsh but he can only call the shots if you let him.

    From everything I see of you on here, you are a strong minded and gutsy woman. You've got this! This is your call!

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  14. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by Angels4me View Post
    Always remember your son will be old enough one day to understand things and will ask questions, what will you tell him your reason is for not letting him share his fathers name.
    This is what annoys me, i will end up being the bad guy no matter what. I cant possibly tell him his Dad cheated on Mum whilst pregnant and totally screwed up our whole life.


 

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