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  1. #1
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    Default WWYD- Babys surname

    Before i start i have another thread which explains my situation in more detail.

    FOB and i have split up. I am now 39 weeks pregnant, and apparently although we arnt 'romantic' right now he says he isnt single and is attached to our family. We are going to try to live together and see where the relationship naturally progresses to over time.

    Now the dilemma, i always wanted the same last name as my children. When we were engaged i was happy to give our son his last name as we were marrying at the end of this year.

    I also want to change the first name we agreed upon as its a reminder of everything ive been through and quite frankly i like the new name more.

    He says that the surname should be hyphenated, which i dont want to do. The two names just wont go together and i dont forever want him to be writing two surnames. He cracked it last night saying that by naming him what i want i dont want him to have anything to do with his son.

    Would/did you name your child the fathers name if not together?

    Wwyd?

  2. #2
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    I would name him whatever you choose. Normally I would never say that but your circumstances are very different. Definitely your surname. Can you agree on a new first name? Definitely don't use the old name.

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  4. #3
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    I agree with LLH 100% given your circumstances and the sh!t he has put you through I would definitely say your surname and the new first name. Good luck! Not long to go now

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    I think he's forfeited his naming rights in this case. Use your surname for sure!

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    Agree with others. Definitely your surname and if you can agree on a new name great, if not his bad luck.

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    Your name for sure. You can always change it later if you change your mind, but there's no way FOB would let you change it once he's had his way. Pick the fight now. Although he's talking about being part of the babies life I honestly doubt he will stick around. Kids are hard work. He will take off with his floozy and leave you with all the hard work and a baby with his surname but done nothing to earn it. You my dear have earnt that surname, he hasn't.

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    Your last name for sure OP! He has done nothing to contribute to the well being, safe and happy arrival to your little one. The first name should be whatever makes you happy and comfortable, definitely don't use the name you decided previously. If you think you can't have him involved then do what you have to xx

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    Quote Originally Posted by Wise Enough View Post
    Your name for sure. You can always change it later if you change your mind, but there's no way FOB would let you change it once he's had his way. Pick the fight now. Although he's talking about being part of the babies life I honestly doubt he will stick around. Kids are hard work. He will take off with his floozy and leave you with all the hard work and a baby with his surname but done nothing to earn it. You my dear have earnt that surname, he hasn't.
    Absolutely this!! You will be your child's main caregiver, the child will live with you and you will be the most important person in their life. Use your name. If he manages to get his act together and be a better person, and you choose to be with him down the track, you can change your child's name if you marry.

    Will he be at the birth?

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    Definitely your name. Change it later if you feel so inclined.

    I have a friend in a situation and now can't change or her hyphenate her child's name to include hers because FOB is a controlling, narcissistic prick.

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  14. #10
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    I would usually say try to compromise with the father of the baby but considering the father of baby is a complete ****** then the baby should have your name. Definitely agree with PPs about you being the main caregiver and therefore being responsible for these kinds of decisions.


 

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