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  1. #21
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    I think people are misunderstanding what I meant by "don't make a big deal about it".

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  3. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by CMF View Post
    I think people are misunderstanding what I meant by "don't make a big deal about it".
    I think I understand what your saying and agree.
    The point being not to make a huge issue out it, but by no means does that mean to not make your child aware.

    For example I remember the "skin colour pencil" conversation with DD I asked her which one it was, then went on to explain that perhaps her friend X, who has brown skin might feel a bit sad if she said that to her, DD was like yeah your right, it all seemed to easy so I go into a big speech ending with, so it doesn't matter if your white, brown, black or yellow, dd laughs and says your silly mum people are not yellow, I say well your friend "s" is, to which she gets up and says now that's not very nice mummy I think your being mean you shouldn't tease people about how they look, we're only different on the outside but we're all the same on the inside, we all have feelings.
    What a fail!

    little kids often just need a matter of fact sort of explanation, they're so innocent, our issues are not issues to them.

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    I think it's a bit difficult to convey tone on a forum. I think there might be a bit of misunderstanding in this thread. Of course it's important to have conversations about skin colour, how we are all different in our own special ways, etc. But I don't think the way to go about it is showing the child that we are visibly upset and shocked, and giving them a 5 minute lecture. Just a simple explanation is enough. A 6 year old talking about 'skin colour' pencil is not being a racist, they are just saying what 'they' see around them. It's our job to (Gently, matter of factly, kindly!) show them that there are many shades of skin colour. I think if we show them that it is something to be upset and concerned about, they will wonder why, and 'skin colour' will become more than just 'skin colour'. We should be able to discuss skin colour just as we discuss hair colour or eye colour or basketball skills. We all have similarities and differences, and that's ok. I hope I've explained myself better this time and not just muddled it even more!

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  7. #24
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    This is what we call a 'teachable moment' in child care. If a child says or does something we can use as a learning tool, we capitalise on the moment by questioning, introducing, or expanding on an idea or theory. I hope that makes sense. It should be a positive experience for both the child and adult. Opportunities to discuss inclusiveness and diversity are especially important in today's society, but your approach could have been a lot better. These conversations need to be had in a way in which you are encouraging the child to question and think for themselves, not talking at them or lecturing. Asking open ended questions is a great way to get them thinking.
    I wouldn't have been shocked by the skin colour statement. I called it that as a child too. Truth be told I've heard some pretty awful statements from 2-5year olds, I just think 'teachable moment'

  8. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by cheeeeesecake View Post
    I think it's a bit difficult to convey tone on a forum. I think there might be a bit of misunderstanding in this thread. Of course it's important to have conversations about skin colour, how we are all different in our own special ways, etc. But I don't think the way to go about it is showing the child that we are visibly upset and shocked, and giving them a 5 minute lecture. Just a simple explanation is enough. A 6 year old talking about 'skin colour' pencil is not being a racist, they are just saying what 'they' see around them. It's our job to (Gently, matter of factly, kindly!) show them that there are many shades of skin colour. I think if we show them that it is something to be upset and concerned about, they will wonder why, and 'skin colour' will become more than just 'skin colour'. We should be able to discuss skin colour just as we discuss hair colour or eye colour or basketball skills. We all have similarities and differences, and that's ok. I hope I've explained myself better this time and not just muddled it even more!
    Yes, exactly this. Especially the bolded bit.
    If you make an issue out of it, kids will see it as An Issue, which it shouldn't be- it should just be normal.

  9. #26
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    its funny. I had never, ever thought of this.

    I mentioned it to DH ... DD was sitting at the bench nearby ... and I said we were discussing on BH about skin colour pencils - and DD immediately jumped in and said "its peach coloured Mum. not skin coloured"

    I ask her why - and she said "because everyone has different coloured skin ... and people like S (her African friend at school) might feel upset or offended because her skin is 'skin coloured' too"


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    Quote Originally Posted by harvs View Post
    I think it *is* a big deal. I grew up being told at school that I wasn't allowed to use the 'skin colour' pencil, I had to use the 'poo colour'. It hurts. I don't think kids are too young to be encouraged to think about the language they use and how it may affect others.

    I don't think I've ever seen a kid, say, reach for a blue pencil and call it 'eye colour'. What's the difference I wonder?
    I'm too passionate about this subject and it hits too close to home I did have a whole reply made out but I've deleted it instead I'll just say I agree with harvs on this one. I just hope that maybe parents can become a little more aware even if it doesn't affect them.

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    I am watching DD at Occupational therapy and was reminded of this thread - DD asked "is this peach?" To which the OT replied "yes, skin colour".......oh dear.


 

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