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  1. #21
    Join Date
    Feb 2015
    Hi OP,
    I think every new mother goes through the stage you've just explained.
    I currently (even though my DS is almost a year old) am still going through all of this.
    I still bf which means it's still falling all onto me majority of the time, I get mastitis almost every month due to hormone imbalances, which I DO NOT wish Apon anyone! Mastitis is very much the devil!
    I can't cope with the whole 'being a new mum and losing who I am outside of mummy'.
    I love my son dearly and wouldn't change him or having him for anything in the world, but sometimes (99% of the time for myself .) it is overwhelming being responsible for a little human, who although you carried for 9 months, you don't know and have to learn to understand etc.
    do not feel like you are alone, we are all here, we have all either been there and or are currently going through it right now.
    And with every new milestone (not sure what else to call it) it gets a little bit harder, at least for my it has. As things change, the amount of stress you have will too, and even though it's a hard and terrifying transaction you'll still find yourself missing it as they get older!!

    PM if you'd like to chat lovely

    Edit: it gets easier not harder! Haha whoops
    Last edited by Luanajo; 19-07-2015 at 16:31.

  2. The Following User Says Thank You to Luanajo For This Useful Post:

    Sariele  (19-07-2015)

  3. #22
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts

    Default Three weeks in and already struggling

    OP, I could have written your post when I was 3 weeks in. I really missed my old life and I had times everyday where I felt scared at what we had done and the responsibility I had to this little individual. I am 5 months in now and I can tell you that it has gotten so much easier and although babies are still hard work I no longer have those feelings of 'what have I done!?'

    In the beginning I'd feel happy if I got to go out on my own as it just felt like the old me. It was comfortable. Now it feels weird to go out without bub.

    As for our cat, she still drives me batty but I think the thing is that she takes a second place to DD all day so when DD goes to bed she figures it's her turn for attention and is all over me. By that time in the day all I want is some space. I still lose my temper and have been known to just stand up so she can't sit on my knee. Isn't that awful!? I'm embarrassed to even admit that.

  4. #23
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    I remember at some point thinking "I am so over changing nappies, I don't want to do this anymore" lol! I think I've changed about 9000 nappies since then and I don't even notice anymore. You get used to it

  5. #24
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    When I had my first I remember thinking "what have I done?!" several times. I was lost, overwhelmed, emotionally fragile, and physically shattered. And I felt awful because we had tried for a year, had a miscarriage, then conceived DD against the odds given our fertility issues - I was supposed to feel happy and grateful! What kind of person was I?? I now realise that so many mothers go through these feelings and it's ok to feel that way at times.

    It's a cliche but it really does get easier - not because kids get easier (every age has it's challenges!) but because you grow as a mother and learn what works for you and your child. It takes time, no one would expect you to fix a broken car or play the violin flawlessly without training and practice. You're a first year apprentice, cut yourself some slack

  6. #25
    Join Date
    Apr 2015
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    I could have written your post word for word OP! My DS was preemie & emergency CS. We were in hospital for 10 days and I remember walking out the doors of the hospital and it hit me like a ton of bricks! The world was suddenly too big after being stuck in a room for too long and we suddenly had this vulnerable little life that we were responsible for. We got home and I just burst into tears and told my DH that I think we'd made a big mistake and I wished we could take him back to the hospital. It was all just so overwhelming and terrifying. I also felt so guilty about my beloved fur babies being booted outside and not getting as much love and attention. I found myself wishing it could all just go back to 'normal'. I grieved my loss of freedom and felt quite detached from my DS. And I felt so guilty for feeling that way! We had had a mc before falling with DS, and I knew I should be grateful, and that it should be how I pictured - loving newborn snuggles and rainbows! Ha!

    It lasted a couple of weeks, until I started to get the hang of things. I was terrified about DH going back to work as he seemed to be the one who was a natural and knew what he was doing. But I actually found it easier once I could get into my own routine and work it out for myself. Once DS was about 2-3 months old and sleeping better I really started enjoying him more. Sleep deprivation turns me into a crazy person, so getting DH to do one overnight feed was a life saver in those early days. DS (now 2) is absolutely the coolest, funniest, most amazing little person I know and every day I think my heart couldn't possibly cope with loving him anymore than I do, but evey day that love just grows more and more.

    I never sugar coat the early days when talking about it, and every one of my mummy friends has admitted that they had those moments too in the first few months. I think being honest about it yourself gives others permission to be honest about it too, and that can be a real life line!

    It does get better. Hang in there! Xo

  7. #26
    Join Date
    Nov 2010
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by amiracle4me View Post
    Thank you everyone for your kind and honest support. I really appreciate everyone that has taken the time to reply. Xx

    I agree, even with a little bit of sleep ( a 2 hour block! ) things can seem better.

    I've been out a lot locally but have been chaperoned by DH as it takes a while to build confidence up, especially after a C section which I found hard to mentally process. It was a big change going from a confident women to someone who was too scared to even walk outside in the first week.

    I really hope I grow to have more patience with my animals as they gave me so much love before bubs arrived and it's not fair on them. I suppose the more sleep I get the more patience I'll have all round?

    Expressing is something I also need to revisit. I've tried twice and don't get the let down so not enough for a feed as yet. It seems tho that will be the best way of me getting some 'me' time.

    It's just taken me as a huge surprise that I'm not loving it more. I thought I'd get more out of it. Turns out that living in PJ's and being covered in milk all day doesn't make you feel a million bucks!

    It's positive that's everyone says it does improve. It's just hard when other new mums I know absolutely love it and I'm comparing myself to them.

    I do love my daughter with all my heart and want to be a good mother.
    It really really will get better ☺️ promise! Newborns are really not that cool. With my second who is 7 weeks now I knew I wasn't going to enjoy this stage but I remind myself soon he will be a cool little person just like my DD. But like you I can't wait for it to get normal again and get my life back a bit, it's such hard work right now


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