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  1. #1
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    Default Resentful of DP

    I am a member of BH but have decided to use an anon profile even though I rarely post on BH.

    Lengthy post ahead.
    May last year we had a son and he was fairly helpful considering he was working 13 hour days and commuting 1.5 hour days. Although I ALWAYS got the "what have you even done today" if he came home and there was something not done like dishes or washing. Fast forward to where we are now our relationship has pretty much disintegrated into nothing. He now works 10 hours a week with a 1 minute walking commute I work 24 hours a week with a 1 hour commute and DS is in daycare for the days I work. We have recently moved in with MIL to save. He sits at home all day playing PlayStation and just being generally unproductive. No washing gets done, MIL washed his clothes 2 weeks ago and they are still sitting at the foot of our bed waiting to be put away. Dinner is still expected to be organised by me and I am still expected to basically have 100% care of DS. I can't even remember the last time DF changed a nappy. DF has never taken DS out anywhere on his own either to give me an hour to myself. So I am looking after DS full time during the day when I am not working. DS often wakes up at night and has been sick so we have let him have a bottle of milk with DF gets because he stays up until 1am on his gaming consoles anyway. Last night DF completely flipped his **** and started yelling at me saying why should he be getting up every night when I sit back and do nothing. I asked him not so nicely to be quiet as it's 2am and he's being extremely ridiculous. He then told me to shut the eff up and asked me to take my time coming home from a play date we had today because it's better when we are not home.
    Fast forward to this morning he's not apologetic at all and we've cancelled the play date anyway because DS was throwing up. I have been tending to a sick baby who I've had to bathe, attempt to feed and get to sleep where he will only sleep if he is holding onto me. DF has been sitting on his *** doing nothing while he's got a pile of wet clothes to hang out, dishes to be done and dinner could be started.
    Is it so wrong of me to want more from him? He barely works and does zero at home.
    I am extremely unhappy with him and I don't like the path this is headed down.

    I don't think I am expecting answers just need a vent. There's nothing I can do I feel stuck in this situation.

  2. #2
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    i would leave, been in your situation hun (only not living with MIL) and it never changed, no matter what I did or how hard I tried it never changed.
    So I left and it was the best decision I ever made

  3. #3
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    You very much can and should be asking for more from your husband and partner. This is just nasty lazy behavior. If I were you I'd move out if my dh said that to me. Good luck him. I hope he gets off his ***.

  4. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Sookie Stackedhouse For This Useful Post:

    Nemmi1987  (18-07-2015),SuperGranny  (18-07-2015)

  5. #4
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    Oh Hun vent away. Your DF is treating being awfully unfair.

    I personally could not live with someone who treated me like a maid while working almost no hours and then speaks to me with such disrespect and clearly has no remorse for.

    It's funny though that he started out helpful and has changed. Do you think losing his job/hours may be causing him depression or moving back in with his mother has demoralised him?

    I'm not in any way condoning his behaviour... Would just be interesting to find out what the change has been...

    Personally I would be sitting down and finding out where his head is at and see if he has any intention of changing his ways to even out the responsibilities of your child together.

    If the answer is no then I guess you need to decide how much you can stand and what choices you have.

  6. #5
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    What a douchebag. Seriously. Tell him to pull his head in and if he doesn't I would seriously be evaluating my relationship.

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    babyla  (18-07-2015)

  8. #6
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    Sounds like you've got 2 children OP. One lovely one and one little selfish brat. Time for a huge wake up call for him.

  9. #7
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    I could have written this word for word, except my Ex didn't work. It never got better, and I had to leave. My life was so much easier looking after my DD and myself and not a man-child as well.

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  11. #8
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    Wow, I would be out the door! He is treating you like crap and is not being a father at all.

  12. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by sunnyflower View Post
    What a douchebag. Seriously. Tell him to pull his head in and if he doesn't I would seriously be evaluating my relationship.
    Douche is exactly what I was thinking!

    It's not ok. You're not expecting too much. He's being a pig and his mother must be seeing all this so she is enabling this $hit behsviour.

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    Gracie's Mum  (18-07-2015),KitiK  (18-07-2015)

  14. #10
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    Yuck. I think you need to ask yourself what you are getting out of this relationship. He hardly works, he doesn't do housework, he's slovenly, he doesn't help with his son. He's verbally and emotionally abusive and it sounds like he has a gaming addiction.

    It would be a 'shape up or F off' deal if it were me. It doesn't sound like he brings anything to the household or your relationship.


 

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