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  1. #1
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    Default Overwhelmed..

    My DS is 11 months old, he's being so naughty but I don't know if he's too young to be disciplined or not.
    He started smacking, spitting and laughing as he does these things. He also screams as soon as I leave the room, I'm at my whits end I don't know what to do :/ he won't sleep in his own bed and that's my main issue!
    How can I get him in his own bed for the WHOLE night? Any tips and I'll be great ful sorry it's all over the place, heads a mess!

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    No advice but my daughter's the same but dosnt spit...i dont know what to do either

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    I know at probably just the age but it's frustrating! He dosnt full on spit but he'll make a 'spit' sound and the let it dribble out his mouth and down his front. I can't sleep at all when he's in our bed and it's getting to the point now where I can't cope I need sleep!!

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    Sounds like separation anxiety. Such an exhausting period. Could you maybe set up a mattress on the floor next to his cot so you can sleep next to him? Or move his cot next to your bed so he feels comforted and close? As annoying as it is, I would just ignore the spitting, hitting etc. at this age. If my kids did any of that when I was holding them, I just said "yuck, no spitting" and put them on the ground. If they were already on the ground I would just turn away and ignore.

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    Be careful with the word naughty.
    I wouldn't classify a child under 3 as being naughty- they don't know any better.

    It does sound like separation anxiety. Usually I would suggest that if he hit or spat at you, you put him down and leave the room... but that won't help his anxiety. So I'd put him down, say "no hitting/spitting" and move away.

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    AdornedWithCats  (17-07-2015),BettyV  (17-07-2015),Mamasupial  (17-07-2015),MissMuppet  (17-07-2015)

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    Quote Originally Posted by DT75 View Post
    Be careful with the word naughty..
    How is this helpful. She's asking for advice, not a lesson in the use of language.

    I'd also describe my 15 mo DS behavior as naughty at times. I know he doesn't know better... Doesn't change my decryption of his antics.

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    MsImpatient  (17-07-2015)

  9. #7
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    I am also wary of the word "naughty" as to me it implies the infant has the knowledge and choice to behave in a certain manner. But they have no impulse control at this age nor do they have an understanding (or the capacity to understand) of principles or values yet.

    If he is hitting or biting etc I would move away from him and probably say don't do that, that hurts mummy.

    For the separation anxiety I would let him be near you as much as he likes if that's what he needs. You can't force independence imo.

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    Quote Originally Posted by DT75 View Post
    Be careful with the word naughty.
    I wouldn't classify a child under 3 as being naughty- they don't know any better.

    It does sound like separation anxiety. Usually I would suggest that if he hit or spat at you, you put him down and leave the room... but that won't help his anxiety. So I'd put him down, say "no hitting/spitting" and move away.
    I get where you are coming from. Behaviours should be separated from the child.

    Instead of saying no hitting etc, I'd say gentle hands so Bub isn't just hearing "hitting".

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    Default Overwhelmed..

    My Dd is almost 18 months and she knows that hitting isn't appropriate but she still does it, usually after I have said no to something ( I am not against the word no at all). I tell her that we don't hit, we be gentle and then I grab her hand and stroke my face so she knows how to use gentle hands.

    I will admit that sometimes the word naughty has slipped out of my mouth, mostly when I've copped a smack to the face and it's given me a shock, I still do the "gentle" routine and if she keeps hitting then I take her off my lap.

    Kids sometimes smack when they are over excited and over tired as well which I see as different, I'm not as stern because I know it's probably pointless when she is like that.

    Everyone parents differently, personally I say "we don't hit, spit, bite" etc and put her down most of the time, 10 seconds later Dd has forgotten and everything is back to normal.

    With the separation anxiety we went through that stage, I stayed with her as much as possible however I still did the things I needed to do, sometimes she had to wait while I went to the toilet or put on a load of washing etc. Now she is happily says goodbye when I drop her at day care or need to go somewhere without her and she greets me with a big smile when I come back.

    Edit - Dd was a shocking sleeper at that age also. She mostly "slept" with me and now still does 80% of the time.
    Last edited by DreamyMummy; 17-07-2015 at 15:50.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Mamasupial View Post
    Instead of saying no hitting etc, I'd say gentle hands so Bub isn't just hearing "hitting".
    This ^^.

    I forgot to say that I use "gentle hands" "gentle pats" often. It takes a lot of repetition and sometimes ds forgets but he does know how to pat the cats gently now.

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