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  1. #41
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wise Enough View Post
    So he wants to have access to his baby whenever it suits him, without any of the work, while diddling the floozy, and you will sit at home doing the cooking and cleaning while he does whatever he wants... Yeah that seems like a fair deal.

    I'm a solo mum. I know it's not how you pictured your life turning out, but being on your own with the baby is absolutely magical. It's just the love between the two of you. You don't have to maintain any other relationships. Please don't think you need him around to help with the baby, because you don't. My parents helped a bit as I had a CS, but I have had two bubbas now and I promise you that it will be fine on your own. You don't need someone around treating you horribly.

    Maybe friendship between you can come much much later down the track when he's grown up. At the moment there is no way a friendship could work. He doesn't even realise he's being a complete jerk (trying to find a word that won't get blocked ).

    Be strong. You are an amazing woman. All your child needs is you, and for you to be happy. You call the shots.
    This. OP I'm SO sorry that he has done this to you. I hope this doesn't come across as harsh but I don't think the baby will change things in his mind, he's obviously a very selfish person. I know it all looks so very hard to deal with this on your own but you CAN do this. Many wonderful ladies on here have been in the same situation and like Wise Enough said one day you will look at the incredible bond you have with your son and be grateful that things turned out the way they did and NO WAY to him living with you still, kick him to the curb, he's made his bed now he can lay in it!

  2. #42
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    For those that inboxed me i just went to reply but they have disappeared

  3. #43
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    Default My life is over.

    I would move your stuff to your parents place, change your address on your license and with the relevant authorities. Call Centrelink and let them know, I believe things go from the date of contact. Then if you want to birth in that hospital just go stay nearby at a friends place or a hotel.

    Edit; sorry just saw your last post
    Last edited by Wise Enough; 15-07-2015 at 22:31.

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    BlondeinBrisvegas  (16-07-2015)

  5. #44
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    Please please contact DCO social workers. They will help you with all of this...

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    Ummm what?!? He wanted money for the babies furniture?!?!!

    Wow he sounds like a keeper. What a shame that other chic has him now.

    If you ever do want to have a go at the other chic, you need only write "he cheated on me. What makes you think he won't do the same to you?". She will disregard it but the seed will have been planted and it will always be at the back of her mind.

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    A-Squared  (16-07-2015),BlondeinBrisvegas  (16-07-2015),delirium  (16-07-2015),Jensha  (16-07-2015),misho  (16-07-2015),Skyler  (16-07-2015)

  8. #46
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wise Enough View Post
    Ummm what?!? He wanted money for the babies furniture?!?!!

    Wow he sounds like a keeper. What a shame that other chic has him now.

    If you ever do want to have a go at the other chic, you need only write "he cheated on me. What makes you think he won't do the same to you?". She will disregard it but the seed will have been planted and it will always be at the back of her mind.
    The message i sent her would have hit pretty hard i think. Which is why he is angry and pushing back now. I feel like i have made things so much worse by being so naive

  9. #47
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    Oh wow. Im so sorry hunni I can only imagine the heartbreak u are feeling.

    I think all the women here have covered everything I just wanted to say that I really feel for you and I hope u get the support and outcome u need.

    I will say tho Do Not let that man live under the same roof as you. Take care of yourself and your son. He can get lost. I'm so angry for you. Big hugs. Where are u? Perhaps there's a hubber nearby who can offer some help? Xx

  10. #48
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    No darling, your life is just beginning.

    Lots of good advice and yes it sounds like there are going to be tough times ahead but this baby is going to light up your world. Don't let him darken it more then he already has. Good luck. Xxx

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  12. #49
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    Oh Luv, firstly, I'm so very sorry and big for you!!

    Well...he's proven what a selfish, immature A/Hole he is and frankly she's no better either, so on that score, the pair of them deserve each other IMO!!!

    As for what you can do....You've already been given some great advice by the other Ladies, but I think given the circumstances of it not being easy for you to just go right now, it might be worth organising having a friend/family come and stay for the first couple of weeks so you have someone not only at the birth (if you don't want him there, and frankly, I wouldn't myself as it's such a special moment in your life and you'll only get one chance to do it with this child, there'll be no "do overs" so think long and hard about if you want him there).

    In that first couple of weeks after bub is born, could you then organise to go and stay with your family for a little while not only to get support with bub but for you to get some breathing space for yourself as well?? The first 4-6 weeks are very full on Luv after you have a baby not to mention the hormonal fall out as well. I'm not saying this to frighten you, just to try to help you get all of your ducks in a row before bub comes as best as you can ok??

    If you can do that, then please go away for a little while and stay with them. That's great you've got control of the $ and frankly I'm appalled he wants half of the $ for the babies things!!! He really is a self centred selfish prick of a man!! I'd be giving him nothing financially until after you've had some legal advice. That can all wait Luv, for now your focus is on having this baby and looking after yourself.

    As to him wanting to move back in?? Fruck no Luv!! Under what alternative universe does he live in thinking that's a feesible option for you?? He doesn't want to be close to his child, he just wants to use and abuse you a bit more while he goes about his business doing what he pleases with who he pleases. Tell him to p*ss off to her place, she wanted him so bad so now she can have him!!!

    Your emotions and hormones are all over the place and you're under a lot of stress and pressure atm but I know in time you will see that getting rid of him will have been the best decision you could've made for yourself. You deserve to be treated with dignity and respect first and foremost, both of which he hasn't done in any shape, way or form.

    In the words of Dr Phil "If they do it with you, they'll do it to you"...so it's only a matter of time before either the A/Hole or the Scrag cheat on each other!! LOL!!! Good riddance I say!!!

    Anyhoo...you said you don't feel excited about the baby and that's understandable Luv under the circumstances, but I feel confident that once he's born and you hold him in your arms that will change. Remember he's also a part of you too Luv.

    Wishing you and your bub all the very best that life has to offer from here on in!! Good Luck and I'll be keeping my eye out for your update
    Last edited by BlondeinBrisvegas; 16-07-2015 at 08:48.

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  14. #50
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    Don't feel guilty for being emotional and lashing out - he has had 17 months to disconnect from you, he moved on and has been having an affair with someone! You are still going through the grieving stage and trying to figure out how your life will work xx

    This guy is a price of work, he is definitely not entitled to half of everything and the courts will only give him very minimal access to your baby while he is young. Time increases as the child grows up.

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