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  1. #11
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    Amazing advice here OP.

    Please consider having some family staying with you - like tomorrow - is this possible? Can you go and stay with family? I think you are isolated and vulnerable. He is truly awful and you absolutely have to be with people who have your best interests at heart.

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  3. #12
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    oh honey, massive hugs to you. I'm so sorry this is happening. there are no words right now for how pathetic this "man" is.

    he does not get to live under you roof. that's just a no way. kick the ******* out. hell, chop his **** off on his way out.

    get as much help as you can right now and surround yourself with good friends. are you able to confide in a close family member (mum, sister?) to come and stay for a short time, at least just when you're having the bub and to help you out for the first couple of weeks?

    xxx

  4. #13
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    TheGooch is offline Winner 2014 - Newbie of the Year
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    There's your answer I think. He wants to delete you, friends and family? Then he gets deleted - from the house.
    Everything from here on is up to you. You call the shots. You make the decisions. You make decisions about your future with your Bub.
    He does not get to decide to live under the same roof. He is a liar and a cheat. Who knows what else he can lie and cheat about? Child support most likely.

    I'm so so sorry this has happened to you. I'm sorry he's being such a despicable person and you deserve so so much better for you and bub
    Xxx

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  6. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by btmac View Post
    I am so sorry this has happened to you.

    I just want to say something which may seem a little blunt and may not be what you want to even think about right now. BUT can you move back to your family? Or your support network? As in right NOW. Before your baby comes. You DH cannot stop you right now - he can stop you once the baby is born.

    You can always move back or he can move to you if you manage to work through this. But all that matters right now is you getting the support you need to have this baby.

    Huge hugs.
    I agree 100%.

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  8. #15
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    The problem is is that my family is 2.5 hours away from the hospital. Im worried that if bub decides to make an appearance early i will be sent to a different hospital and i am already booked in and paid for this hosp. I feel trapped. He is out having a ball and doing whatever he pleases and that kills me. Im thinking i will go up home tomorrow for the weekend and come back Monday for my ob appointment but even then ill be at home alone until the baby comes.

    Everything just feels so hopeless right now!

  9. #16
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    Default My life is over.

    Um...not doing yourself any favours? Wtf?

    That's when you reply with:

    Thank you for your feedback. On reflection I realise that you are right. My ultimate concern is definitely how the tramp who has broken up my marriage and my spineless philandering pathetic jerk of a husband regard my behaviour.

    Given your flagrant disregard for our marriage vows, I realise now that I have to be the one to 'do myself favours'. On that note - no effing way will you be living anywhere near me. And brace yourself, because I will be doing myself the favour of taking your ar$e to court and reaming. I hope the trollop doesn't have expensive tastes, because she'll be looking at a cubic zirconia ring and a wedding in the car park of Bunnings on sausage sizzle Saturday when I'm finished.

    You're right - this doing myself a favour thing is amazing!

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  11. #17
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    SpecialPatrolGroup is offline T-rex is cranky until she gets her coffee.
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    Quote Originally Posted by heplusme View Post

    I dont think its fair that he expects me to be stuck at home, trying to be friendly with him and playing wife while hes single and gets to be with his son..but on the other hand i feel like there could be a chance the bub will give us something positive in common again and we will be able to at least start a friendship again. At the moment everything is just so lost and we cant talk about anything.
    Honey I know this is all very fresh and new, but this man has hurt the mother of his child. Clearly hurt very deeply. Obviously you can't turn your feelings off like a tap but you would not encourage a friend to hang her hopes on someone who would do this.

    Regarding the birth, this is a time you need people around you who you trust. If you want to invite him in, do so on the proviso that you can and will ask him to leave if you need to.

    Even though it is very late in the piece, would you consider a doula to support you in labour in the absence of friends and family?

  12. #18
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    I know right now things feel helpless, but time can make it better. Please do not, under any circumstances, allow him back into your house. It will be so incredibly painful for you and it will tear you apart slowly. Do not make him your priority when to him you are only an option. It might help to make an appointment with your GP to get this out of your system and come up with a mental health plan. You don't have to deal with this alone.

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  14. #19
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    Can you talk to your midwives about the option of changing hospitals for no charge? There might be some kind of policy for extenuating circumstances like this (I really have no idea but it can't hurt to ask, right?)

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  16. #20
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    Alright this totally sucks! But what you need right now is a plan. I can't say exactly what that might be but personally I'd be setting things up to make it as difficult as possible for him to see his son. The family court system is totally in favour so use it. You're the "primary carer" and young babies are usually not usually separated from their primary carer when they're infants. Sucks for him. That's probably why he wants to "live under the same roof". Sounds like he's had legal advice (separate but under the same roof is a common term we use). Don't give in to him on that issue.

    Also if you want to relocate anywhere even within your state, do it now before the baby is born. Forget about hospitals and whatever because once the baby is born you can't just relocate without his permission. The last thing you want is him trying to keep you living close because of the baby and having to fight him in Court for permission to move. That's the worst trust me. Run now, run fast and run as far as you can!

    And get legal advice. It will make you feel better knowing your options and focus on putting a plan in place. Depending on where you're located, there are usually options for free advice.

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