Hi all, I am a bit conflicted on what to do. I have 5 kids - aged 16 down to 6 and my husband and I have the opportunity to go away together for 5 days to Perth (we live in Qld) and initially my mother agreed to look after the kids for that time - staying in our house. Mum's personality is very much that of a worrier and catasrophiser (is that a word? haha) and although it's still a couple of months away, she has started up the fretting about things that most people probably wouldn't even worry about. I have rarely asked her to take care of the kids, but she has spent a lot of time with them as we are a close family but I learnt early on after having my first that she doesn't deal well with the responsibility of taking care of them. Mum and Dad are together but Dad point blank just won't do anything he doesn't want to do, and taking care of my kids is one of those things. He will do plenty for us, but will not commit to taking care of them for a week. They are getting old now - 73, but fit and active. I suppose everything gets more challenging as you get older. Having said all of this, there is NOONE I trust more than them to take care of my children. My husband asked his mother, but she said no, it was too much to ask.
We don't go away together as a couple, it's always with the kids, if we do - and I think it's good for a marriage if we can spend time together, but my mother has a very old fashioned view that once you have kids everything else should ALWAYS come second including marriage, but although I mostly agree with that I think that things are obviously better if a marriage is kept healthy. My parents have a very disfunctional relationship and not something that I would want for myself. But that's their business and they're too old for change.
I have noone else I would ask to take care of the kids, I know that a week is a long time, BUT my kids are not difficult children, they're all pretty independant, even the little ones and I just don't think it should be such a big deal for my parents to do what we do, all the time, for just one week.
Clearly they do though, so my question is, would you just "ignore" the fretting and go ahead with the plan to go (she hasn't outright said NO, just made it very clear she's NOT confident about us going) or cancel the whole thing and just accept that unless I find other people I can trust to look after the kids, just accept husband and I will get no time together as a couple until they've all grown up and left home!
One thing I have learnt from my parenting experience so far, is that when I'm a grandparent I will do as much as I can to allow my children to nurture their own marriage. I don't think my parents get it - but then again they don't have what I'd call a good marriage.
I'm feeling very flat