Hang in there, we can muddle our way through this.
Hang in there, we can muddle our way through this.
Last edited by ICanDream; 16-07-2015 at 08:52.
I've not been very active on BH of late. But I've now been back and checking regularly on this thread. It's been so incredibly healing to know its not just me and I'm not the only one struggling with this role. My DS was planned and very much wanted and when all these feelings of frustration and anger started bubbling to the surface, I felt like I was an awful person. I feel so much better to know that these feelings are not unique to my situation.
Thank you OP For this thread. Many hugs to you and to all the ladies who've been so brave as to contribute to this thread.
I really hope that others and maybe future mummies can read along and know they aren't alone. Mods, maybe we could sticky this thread for that reason?
I also can't find the motivation to find a hobby. I'm uncoordinated so sport is out of the question plus I'm so unfit, I hate running and the gym etc.
I'd love to get into sewing but it's too hard to lock myself away from the kids on weekends as I'm always needed elsewhere. I'm probably making excuses but motivating myself isn't my strong point!
I truly think there should be a personality and lifestyle quiz everyone should take before TTC. If you appreciate your freedom, don't like routine or are selfish or impatient or all of the above - like me, parenting probably isn't a wise 'career choice'.
I do envy my DH he works full time and has all of Sunday mornings to himself playing golf. If only I could work full time and have half a day off every weekend to do something I love this all might be a bit easier!?
I mean DH has always encouraged me to do my own thing, find a hobby etc but it's easier said than done when I've never had one. He always had golf and soccer since he was in high school. I had nothing!
Last edited by A-Squared; 16-07-2015 at 09:06.
I wouldn't change having dd but I would wait until I was older and had more life experience and time to figure out who I was and be young and free. And if I could also have the exact same child I would change the fob. I'd choose someone who lovely and trusting. A great dad and partner in life.
Having a baby in your 40s is hard. I don't care what people say, even though I was relatively fit before pregnancy, I just don't have the energy now that I did when I was younger. DH wants another. If I was in my mid-30s I'd probably just go for it, but I'm 41 now. Even if I fell pregnant straight away I'd be 42 when the baby came. I feel exhausted just thinking about it!
I agree with all that has been said, the boredom, the whinging, and what I struggle most with, the lack of patience for playing games
The only parts I disagree with are the things some posters are saying about themselves.
You're not a bad parent for thinking/feeling this way.
All our children are loved, I'm sure they feel loved, too.
That's a good parent.
Remember too, that our roles as mothers these days are a lot more full on than our mothers had them.
Our kids are under our watch 24/7.
Back when I was a kid we were out at the crack of dawn and only indoors for a quick feed before running back out to be with our friends until bedtime.
On rainy days we went in to the shed to play or played in our rooms or had some tv.
There was no arranged play dates like now where we have to chaperone and be plugged in and engaged the whole time.
No, kids roamed free and it's in these hours that our mother's got things done!
Housework, laundry, preparing meals, AND some much valued alone time.
Jees I'd have all that done in an hour if I wasn't being needed for something else here, or breaking up a fight there, or dealing with the screamer AGAIN for the third time in twenty minutes. As it stands now, some days I get none of that done and most days it's done in that last hour of the day before dinner is served.
We need to cut ourselves a break and realise it's a different world now, it's a tougher gig. It's not a career, nowhere near. We don't get pay cheques,
and we don't get weekends off and sometimes we don't even get any down time. Which is where I'm at now. When baby is asleep at 8 I'm off too.
So for me it's not even a matter of doing something I like when they're in bed.
It's a bit annoying but it will come good in a year or so, I hope.
Go easy on yourselves
Btw, how good would this thread be to show teenagers who are thinking of having s€x.
The hard core truth and reality of having children.
Birth control sorted!
If I had my time over, I would still have my kids, but I would have timed it differently.
Currently pregnant with a third surprise baby, the pregnancy has been a horrid mess from day one and I'm anxious about the new addition.. But i know that I won't regret this bub when it's here. I may have regretted not having a third at some stage down the line. DH always wanted a third.
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