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  1. #1
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    Default Spin Off..... If I had my time over I wouldn't have had children

    So the thread about having 3 children has brought up something I am passionate about. The unspoken taboo topic of regretting having children.

    I'm not sure for me if regret is the word, but yes if I knew what I know now about having children I would have made different decisions.

    I love my children with all I have and try my best to be the best mum I can be. I just think it's going to take me a long time to really enjoy being a mum.

    There! I said it!

    If anyone feels the same this is a thread to out your hand up and admit it in a kind and caring and compassionate environment. No judgements here!

    oxo

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  3. #2
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    Subbing to reply later.

    Thank you for opening a dialogue where people can share their stories and feelings without having to be defensive or judged 💐

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  5. #3
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    i dont regret my kids but in hind sight I think there are a few choices I couldve made better before they came along
    Last edited by Nemmi1987; 14-07-2015 at 19:08.

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    I don't regret my kids or the timing, however #3, our big surprise, is due in 8 weeks and I'm not sure how it will go.

    Big hugs ladies, I do believe that you can regret your children or the timing, bravo for opening up and putting it out there, as it's such a taboo.

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    I don't regret my kids but regret the timing. I had my first at 26 then second at 28 and I will be 31 with my 3rd. We should have waited just another year to have our first and had our third within 4yrs.

    I'd love a 4th but DH and I feel we will be too old (for us) at 33&35.

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    I love my DS but I'm not sure that I would choose the same path if I was to have my time over. Don't get me wrong, I couldn't imagine life without him but I really didn't know what I was in for and I just don't think I was cut out for this gig.

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  13. #7
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    Zombie_eyes is offline Formerly Diamondeyes
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    Hard to explain this. I'll try.

    If When i was wanting a baby, before i had any... Someone showed me my life now in a crystal ball. I would not have children

    If today i was offered the chance to go back in time and change my life's outcome, by not falling pregnant, i would still fall pregnant, because i couldn't continue to live having known what i chose to lose.

    Does this make any sense?

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    If I had my time over, I would have had kids when I was in my early to mid 20's instead of having my first at 28.

    I had a lot more energy and I felt very ready back then. But when ds1 was born, like literally straight afterwards and whilst he was in my arms, my mouth told him I loved him and inside I said to myself 'oh ****, what have I done'.

    I was extremely anxious when he was born, the thought of leaving hospital with him made me want to cry, I was so scared of not being able to sleep, of not being a good mum and not having any support.

    But in saying that, I know, if I had my kids earlier, I wouldn't have the same beautiful boys that I do today.

    If I had my time over, I would have also bought a house much sooner, saved more money and not taken my freedom for granted 😁 but hind sight is just a *****. Haha.

    I don't regret my kids at all, I wouldn't ever change it, but I think hindsight makes me think that if I had done things a certain (different) way, things would be easier. But then, I will just never know, so I let it go.

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    I am still coming to terms with the timing of this bubba. At the time it felt right and I felt ready but now looking back I really wish I had done more with my life. That is only hindsight though and I love DS more than I love life itself (even when he is wiping snot on me).

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    Quote Originally Posted by Zombie_eyes View Post
    Hard to explain this. I'll try.

    If When i was wanting a baby, before i had any... Someone showed me my life now in a crystal ball. I would not have children

    If today i was offered the chance to go back in time and change my life's outcome, by not falling pregnant, i would still fall pregnant, because i couldn't continue to live having known what i chose to lose.

    Does this make any sense?
    Yep.
    If I could have looked in the future. .. and seen what our life looked like with a child...I may not have done it. However...I wanted a child. .... so I probably would still have tried to get pregnant.

    I don't regret my daughter at all. .she's my world. ..but gee I wish things were different.

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