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  1. #11
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    The help your mum will need will include things like shopping cooking cleaning and maybe some personal care post surgery (if she's having surgery). Most states in australia offer some kind of transition care for when she leaves hospital. Make sure she asks about it so she gets it. That will make it easier on you both and she will feel a bit more independent.

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    Steph12  (13-07-2015),SuperGranny  (14-07-2015)

  3. #12
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    Great big hugs. Hope it all turns out ok xx

  4. #13
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    I can't help you with the child care but I can hopefully lift your spirits in regards to your mums diagnosis.

    My dad had stage 4 bowel cancer about 3.5 years ago.

    I won't lie, it wasn't great. He had radiotherapy & chemo followed by his surgery which left him to p00 in a colostomy bag for the rest of his life.

    Unfortunately the cancer had jumped to his liver & lungs, but after 3 more surgeries and a long, tiring recovery, he is cancer free and very healthy and happy.

    There is hope

    Stay strong and give your mum lots of rest.

    One thing that dad got recommended so as not to lose muscle tone whilst recovering and to give energy was 'proform' protein shakes. (He is in hs 70s so it was always going to be a tough recovery). I swear it helped him so much, it just have him strength enough to get thru the days.

    Good luck to your mum and to your family.

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    Thanks @misho that helps. My mum is 65 but very fit (she keeps up with my 2 year old better than me!) She doesn't have any symptoms/signs so it's all a bit if a shock. I think unfortunately looking after our Dad during this time will be extremely difficult as he doesn't cope well with stress and is older and more frail.

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  8. #15
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    Can't offer anything other than support and hope and wishing for only good things for you and your family xx

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    Default Got horrible news today and not sure what to do...

    I don't know how supportive your workplace is, and how it would actually work (you'd have to talk to HR) but when my MIL had a hip replacement I was allowed time off as carer's leave. That said, it was one day a fortnight for eight weeks, as she only watched my DS once a week and my DP watched him the alternating weeks. But it's worth talking to HR and seeing if you can get any leave.
    Can your husband take any time off?

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    @Steph12 I couldn't read and run. My dad was diagnosed with bowel cancer three years ago and is now cancer free. It comes as a complete shock I know and my family are all in the UK. I remember when he told me I thought he was joking. Do you know what stage your mum has? My dad doesn't have a bag so please try not to assune the worst. He did lose a heap of weight and I was unprepared for how sick he looked, the surgery can be full on I think so the suggestion re protein shakes sounds a good one. Be there for your mum if she wants to shout and cry and be kind to yourself. Do you have a DH/DF/DP and some close friends who can be there for you? I found it helped me to talk to others other than my dad when I was scared as I didn't want to add to his stress. Hugs xx

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    I am so sorry to hear about your mum I really hope the surgery goes well. I went through this with my stepfather a few years back when DD1 was only young. You may actually be looking at longer than 6 weeks especially if your mum may need chemo, on top of that you wouldn't want to take your daughter around your mum if she even has a little sniffle.
    If you are looking at wanting to care for your mum perhaps ring up your superfund and see if you have income protection? You could be entitled to that to care for your mum for as long as she needs. It would need to be signed off by a doctor but I'm sure they would have no problem with that.
    I also agree with family day care. Getting your DD out of the house where she can settle with the one carer and only a few children.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Steph12 View Post
    Thanks @misho that helps. My mum is 65 but very fit (she keeps up with my 2 year old better than me!) She doesn't have any symptoms/signs so it's all a bit if a shock. I think unfortunately looking after our Dad during this time will be extremely difficult as he doesn't cope well with stress and is older and more frail.
    Sounds like my dad.

    He walked into hospital fit and healthy, came out looking 10 years older and very sick.

    Hope your mum is ok, she will be ok, I'm sure of it.


    If you have help from family and friends who can babysit take all the help you get offered.

    Hopefully your dad will surprise you

    xx

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    No advice from me, but sending you and your Mum great big .


 

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