This is a rant. These are the things that I try not to voice because I dont want to seem ungrateful but I just need to let it all out.
I feel so down and out. I'm sick and tired of watching everyone around me fall pregnant and have their healthy babies. I sick of having long painful periods which is just another reminder that my body is ****ed and can't give me the one thing i so desperatly want. I'm sick of putting on a happy face all the time.
Yes I'm grateful for my daughter but having her doesn't ease the pain of what i don't have. Everyday I grieve my 2 misscarriages. Everyday I grieve my daughter who was born sleeping at 21 weeks. Everyday i feel guilty that my daughter is an only child and i cant give her the sibling she always asks for, and everyday i feel guilty that i feel this way when there are so many deserving woman out there still trying for their first without success.
I just feel sad, angry, guilty and tired of the whole process.
Thanks for letting me let that out.