Thanks everyone! That really helps. I have had a bit of a deep and meaningful to DP and I think he is going to get more on board too. This will help a lot. I just wanted to be sure I was expecting too much from them but it sounds like I'm not.
I don't want to be a Sargent major but at the same time, my toddler helps pack away so there cant be 2 sets of rules in the house.