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  1. #41
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    I think there are a lot of good points raised here.

    I also think that it's accepting that you might have different personalities and beliefs and generally that's ok.

    You can't choose your in laws. But yet you end up in a close ish relationship with people you might not gel with that you don't really know.

    So it's understand that you can't force or change the other person but accepting it and respecting each other

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    Phony  (11-07-2015)

  3. #42
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    Default How to be a good MIL?

    Quote Originally Posted by Phony View Post
    When my sister was a new parent, she arrived up when the baby was only 11 days old and took him out - FOR THE WHOLE DAY!
    Sister didn't know what to do, her partner had agreed to it so in marches MIL, talks over any protests and tells her to get some sleep and takes off with the baby.
    .
    I'm not saying your sisters MiL isn't a bisch... Just that with regards to this particular incident your sister and her hubby need to take responsibility for this.
    - Your sister should have per her foot down. No one takes an 11 day old baby from the house without the parents permission, no one.
    - if your sisters hubby encouraged his mother to take bub out against your sisters wishes then her beef is with him.

    Again - not saying the MIL isn't a overbearing bisch. I just don't like seeing inlaws blamed for things that the parents should be taking responsibility for.
    Last edited by VicPark; 10-07-2015 at 20:03.

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  5. #43
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    tend to agree with the PP. nobody can take a baby (ESP one that is 11 days old) without some kind of permission. everyone has a tongue in their gob, it's not that hard to speak up and tell mil to get nicked.

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    Phony  (11-07-2015)

  7. #44
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    I love my MIL, she's great.
    Don't get me started on my ex MIL though!!

    I hope I'd be a good MIL myself especially with my sons . I'd worry their wives/girlfriends would be b!tches and not let me/ us see the grand kids or whatever!

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    Phony  (11-07-2015)

  9. #45
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    Quote Originally Posted by lolly007 View Post
    tend to agree with the PP. nobody can take a baby (ESP one that is 11 days old) without some kind of permission. everyone has a tongue in their gob, it's not that hard to speak up and tell mil to get nicked.
    Yes it IS hard to speak up when it's your first bub, that you just gave birth and tired and emotional.

    Quite easy to judge from behind a keyboard.

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  11. #46
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    ease up, I was just giving my opinion. nobody is "judging". sheesh.

  12. #47
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    I love my MIL.
    We have differences but we can talk about anything that is bugging us without causing conflict.
    I know that she is a great person and anything she does (even if it irritates me) is always with the best intentions.
    I think our bond is much stronger since having my DD, how can its amazing how much you can love someone who loves your DD so much.

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  14. #48
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    Quote Originally Posted by Phony View Post
    You mean after saying you don't want them rearranged, she goes and does it anyway?
    Yes.
    *sigh*
    Linen cupboard, kids wardrobes, furniture! Anything really.

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    Phony  (11-07-2015)

  16. #49
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    I'm not saying your sisters MiL isn't a bisch... Just that with regards to this particular incident your sister and her hubby need to take responsibility for this.
    - Your sister should have per her foot down. No one takes an 11 day old baby from the house without the parents permission, no one.
    - if your sisters hubby encouraged his mother to take bub out against your sisters wishes then her beef is with him.

    Again - not saying the MIL isn't a overbearing bisch. I just don't like seeing inlaws blamed for things that the parents should be taking responsibility for.
    You're absolutely right.
    And he's another problem and was of no help in those early weeks after a baby.
    Insensitive assh0le but anyway, I won't get on about him.

    That first time something like this happened and it caught my sis off guard, tired, vulnerable and exhausted from a severely traumatic birth.
    Bear in mind she had only turned 20 at the time.
    Since then my sister has stood up to her on more than one occasion.
    She's had to. She'd be walked all over by both of them if she didn't.
    Last edited by Phony; 11-07-2015 at 08:14.

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  18. #50
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    Quote Originally Posted by lolly007 View Post
    tend to agree with the PP. nobody can take a baby (ESP one that is 11 days old) without some kind of permission. everyone has a tongue in their gob, it's not that hard to speak up and tell mil to get nicked.
    You know, when this happened I was livid.
    The woman should have known better, who does that?
    But I also couldn't see why my sis let her do it.
    She was vulnerable I suppose.
    Exhausted and not in her right mind either after the birth.
    Anyway, I live here and they're all in Ireland, so a few months pass and I take a trip home.
    I got to see this woman in action.
    I can see how she would have burst in the door and took over.
    She tried to do it while I was there, and she made comments telling my sis "calm down" (she was calm) and "not to get stressed out" (she wasn't).
    Deliberately infuriating comments.
    I had to say that my sis was perfectly fine and doing a great job.


 

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