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  1. #61
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    I just went through this. We were worried her reaction would be anywhere on the spectrum from ok to pyscho.

    Anyway we told my SD and then when my DH took her back to her mum's he said 'she has some news' so SD told her mum. Surprisingly she was happy for us.

    I actually dropped my SD off to hers the other day and she was friendly and said congratulations and we talked for about 10 mins and she was telling me pregnancy stories and giving me tips... It was weird given her behavior to me in the past but I'll take it cos I'd her be friendly (even if it's fake) then be nasty to my face!!

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  3. #62
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    Quote Originally Posted by HappyBovine View Post
    The kids are 7 and 9 though not toddlers. I know that my children would be feeling incredibly displaced if my exdh was to ever have a baby with someone else. The TShirts would be like rubbing salt into wounds and I doubt they would wear them. Actually I know they wouldn't.
    I actually made SD a tshirt which said I'm the big sister and she loves it. But of course it would depend on the child and the relationship they have with their dad.

  4. #63
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    Quote Originally Posted by Phony View Post
    Yeah, I agree. How she reacts really is her problem and it seems the OP and her DH are doing their best.

    Definitely (now we know more details) the way to go is to notify her in the way all communications is normally done, via email. Then it's not such a big deal.

    Makes me wonder now how my Mam would have told my Dad that she was expecting a child with her new partner.
    I'm not even sure if she had any way of contacting him back then.
    I must ask out of interest.
    Dad went on to have two more children himself.
    I remember getting a letter about it at the time, which was the way we kept in touch.
    No biggy! By the time he got round to it I already had two half siblings by from my mam and her partner. Now all in all I have 1 brother and 5 half siblings...though to me they are all just my brothers and sisters.



    What way do you communicate with your ex normally?
    Text or in person when we do pick up/drop offs. If we need to discuss something more serious we do have a chat on the phone when needed. Lately he's bed quite amicable thankfully!

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  6. #64
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    @DT75 I don't have anything to add but I just wanted to jump in and say congrats on your pregnancy x

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  8. #65
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    Quote Originally Posted by LilahBelle View Post
    Anyway we told my SD and then when my DH took her back to her mum's he said 'she has some news' so SD told her mum. Surprisingly she was happy for us.
    See, I think this is a good way to do it.
    It takes all the attention off the ex's reaction and is coming from a happy child so how could it be taken badly?

    Quote Originally Posted by LilahBelle View Post
    I actually dropped my SD off to hers the other day and she was friendly and said congratulations and we talked for about 10 mins and she was telling me pregnancy stories and giving me tips... It was weird given her behavior to me in the past but I'll take it cos I'd her be friendly (even if it's fake) then be nasty to my face!!
    That's good isn't it. Maybe she sees you as more of an equal in her eyes now?
    And sure whatever it is, even if it's fake as you say, long may it continue for the sake of your step-daughter

  9. #66
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    If she checks her email everyday, then email her. But if not, maybe you could call her.

  10. #67
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    Quote Originally Posted by Phony View Post
    See, I think this is a good way to do it.
    It takes all the attention off the ex's reaction and is coming from a happy child so how could it be taken badly?



    That's good isn't it. Maybe she sees you as more of an equal in her eyes now?
    And sure whatever it is, even if it's fake as you say, long may it continue for the sake of your step-daughter

    Yep she is older and more mature now so maybe she's realised it's better to not be so bitter. Lol.

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  12. #68
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    Okay. This is totally weird to me. If my husband and I split up, I would expect him to be my main point of contact. I would also expect that he has enough respect for me to tell me potentially upsetting news himself, rather than getting his new partner to email me.

    Email seems really impersonal and insensitive to be honest. If you feel that you owe her an announcement above other people, then you should do it in person or over the phone.

    I would definitely not be getting the child a shirt that says 'FINALLY' a big brother. That's a real kick in the guts and quite distasteful to be honest. There is nothing wrong with the big brother/big sister tshirt idea, but definitely don't use FINALLY. It's unnecessary and will just cause problems that you are trying to avoid.

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  14. #69
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    Quote Originally Posted by DT75 View Post
    Yeah we are excited.
    After our 8 week scan, I am buying a tshirt for each of them- one saying "Big Sister to be AGAIN March 2016" and the other "Big Brother to be FINALLY March 2016"
    Oh gosh that's not in good taste. Finally eek that's totally rubbing her nose in it.

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  16. #70
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    I've had 2 children with dh and both times we told dss about the babies then let him make a phone call to tell his mum. He was excited to be able to tell someone and she didn't seem to mind finding out from him. Only you OP are going to know what the relationship is like and the best way to break it to her.

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    Phony  (09-07-2015)


 

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