Closed Thread
Page 2 of 8 FirstFirst 1234 ... LastLast
Results 11 to 20 of 79
  1. #11
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Posts
    5,554
    Thanks
    1,602
    Thanked
    2,360
    Reviews
    6
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by Mod-Degrassi View Post
    I liked Cue's suggestion, but now you've explained the situation with phoning I'd probably go for the email option.

    It gives her a chance to process the news without being put on the spot.
    Yeah now that you've explained it, email is probably the best bet.

  2. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Cue For This Useful Post:

    DT75  (07-07-2015),monkeymama  (08-07-2015)

  3. #12
    Join Date
    Aug 2013
    Posts
    3,581
    Thanks
    131
    Thanked
    1,600
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    You are very considerate. I recall only too well my reaction to finding out my exh was going to be a father again.. Let's just say I was livid given past comments from when we were married and I wanted a 3rd..

    U are an amazing woman to be so conscious of the feelings of the exw..

    I hope her response isn't too bad ...

  4. #13
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Posts
    2,688
    Thanks
    4,822
    Thanked
    2,373
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts

    Default Telling the Bio mother

    With more info I would definitely go email option! Good luck!

  5. The Following User Says Thank You to Chillies For This Useful Post:

    DT75  (07-07-2015)

  6. #14
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Posts
    3,492
    Thanks
    4,294
    Thanked
    1,805
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Awards:
    100 Posts in a week
    Just looking at your signature, are you only 6 weeks along?
    If so (and it was me) I'd hold off until I was in the clear.
    Maybe that's just me though as I've miscarried twice and I wouldn't take any of it as set in stone until at least the 13 week mark. Sorry, I don't mean to be a Debbie Downer as I'm sure you're ecstatic but I'm just thinking of the unnecessary grief the children would be put through should the worst happen.
    I'm not sure the ex-wife needs to know so soon either.
    Give yourself and DH some time to enjoy your news.
    You might find once you tell the ex all sorts of other issues will crop up, enjoy the quiet time while you can.
    Again, if it was me this is what I'd do.

    Congrats

  7. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Phony For This Useful Post:

    mrswhitehouse  (08-07-2015),SJ565  (07-07-2015),Soon2be4  (07-07-2015)

  8. #15
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Posts
    3,492
    Thanks
    4,294
    Thanked
    1,805
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Awards:
    100 Posts in a week
    HOOPS!
    just realised I never answered your question, almost hallucinating with exhaustion here.

    Definitely email.

  9. #16
    Join Date
    Nov 2010
    Posts
    358
    Thanks
    69
    Thanked
    276
    Reviews
    0
    I've been in same situation and we waited to tell kids after 20 week scan and sent an email to ex same time explaining we had told kids and their reaction. We were concerned that the news would be told to kids before we got to tell them that's why we waited to email after. The other reason why we sent an email was to explain how we would tackle any questions about babies and where they come from.

    Our decision came down to the fact that it affected our family first and ex second. The kids are part of two families and a new baby is part of their family. How ex reacts shouldn't affect the your family life unless it's negative. If it's negative well they're hurting their kids too.

  10. The Following User Says Thank You to Ellesbelles For This Useful Post:

    Threekids  (19-07-2015)

  11. #17
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Location
    Melbourne
    Posts
    4,316
    Thanks
    1,551
    Thanked
    2,536
    Reviews
    10
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Awards:
    100 Posts in a week
    I agree with Phony. It seems sensible advise in this situation to wait a little longer before announcing. Maybe you could have an earlier scan (7-8wks) and announce once you see the HB?

    Otherwise the email strategy sounds really good.

  12. #18
    BH-KatiesMum's Avatar
    BH-KatiesMum is offline Community Manager
    Winner 2008 - The most optimistic poster
    Winner 2014 - Most Helpful Moderator
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    Perth WA
    Posts
    22,393
    Thanks
    5,359
    Thanked
    5,806
    Reviews
    3
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 postsRuby Star - 15,000 postsDiamond Star - 20,000 posts
    Awards:
    Past Moderator
    200 Posts in a week100 Posts in a week
    but waiting means she cant tell the kids or various others ...

    so I would go with email, now.


  13. The Following User Says Thank You to BH-KatiesMum For This Useful Post:

    DT75  (07-07-2015)

  14. #19
    Join Date
    Sep 2014
    Location
    Sydney
    Posts
    2,841
    Thanks
    1,819
    Thanked
    1,421
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Awards:
    100 Posts in a week
    Quote Originally Posted by Louise41 View Post
    You are very considerate. I recall only too well my reaction to finding out my exh was going to be a father again.. Let's just say I was livid given past comments from when we were married and I wanted a 3rd..

    U are an amazing woman to be so conscious of the feelings of the exw..

    I hope her response isn't too bad ...
    Thank you.

    Despite our difference she has been really good with accepting me as part of their life, and I know that it will be difficult for her.
    As a kid of a "broken" home, I recall my bio dad, and mum, finding out when the other was expecting from a source other than themselves.
    I don't want to inflict that on anyone.

  15. #20
    Join Date
    Sep 2014
    Location
    Sydney
    Posts
    2,841
    Thanks
    1,819
    Thanked
    1,421
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Awards:
    100 Posts in a week
    Quote Originally Posted by Phony View Post
    Just looking at your signature, are you only 6 weeks along?
    If so (and it was me) I'd hold off until I was in the clear.
    Maybe that's just me though as I've miscarried twice and I wouldn't take any of it as set in stone until at least the 13 week mark. Sorry, I don't mean to be a Debbie Downer as I'm sure you're ecstatic but I'm just thinking of the unnecessary grief the children would be put through should the worst happen.
    I'm not sure the ex-wife needs to know so soon either.
    Give yourself and DH some time to enjoy your news.
    You might find once you tell the ex all sorts of other issues will crop up, enjoy the quiet time while you can.
    Again, if it was me this is what I'd do.

    Congrats
    I didn't say I was doing it now!

    We're not saying anything to anyone until 10+ weeks

    ETA: Also I work at the kids' school (and the kids knew we would be trying soon so are waiting), and have to let work know by 12 weeks. I don't want the kids finding out by someone approaching them asking how excited they are.

  16. The Following User Says Thank You to DT75 For This Useful Post:

    Phony  (07-07-2015)


 

Similar Threads

  1. I don't like what my new fitbit is telling me....
    By Zabella in forum General Parenting Tips, Advice & Chat
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 14-09-2014, 21:59
  2. Telling boss u r pregnant
    By Kelbel29 in forum Maternity & Parental Leave
    Replies: 37
    Last Post: 10-07-2014, 09:30
  3. Telling work
    By MrsKK in forum Pregnancy & Birth General Chat
    Replies: 16
    Last Post: 09-07-2014, 16:03

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
free weekly newsletters | sign up now!
who are these people who write great posts? meet our hubbub authors!
Learn how you can contribute to the hubbub!

reviews
learn how you can become a reviewer!

competitions

forum - chatting now
christmas gift guidesee all Red Stocking
Babybee Prams
Save $50 in our pre-Christmas sale! All Comet's now only $500. Our bassinet & stroller set includes free shipping AUS wide, $75 free accessories, 18-months warranty & a 9 month free return policy. Check out our new designer range today!
sales & new stuffsee all
Pea Pods
Buy 2 Award Winning Pea Pods Reusable One Size Nappies for only $38 (in your choice of colours) and receive a FREE roll of Bamboo Liners. Don't miss out, we don't usually have discounts on the nappies, so grab this special offer!
Special Offer! Save $12
featured supporter
HuggleBib
The HuggleBib is not "just another" baby bib. Sure, your child may be a messy eater who gets more food ON them rather than IN them, so you dread cleaning after feeding times! Well the HuggleBib is THE best solution to help with all these daily tasks!
gotcha
X

Pregnant for the first-time?

Not sure where to start? We can help!

Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!