I have come on here because I need to know I'm either over reacting or not alone in this. My partner and I are 14 weeks today and it's exciting that we are having a bubs! I even went and bought a baby carrier, super manly camo one with molle and D hooks and stuff haha I love it. But i can't shake the feeling that I'm getting more and more disconnected to my partner, our sex life was pretty bad before the pregnancy and I raised my concerns saying that I really want to feel close to her and to feel intimate with her. I tried showing more affection, doing more romantic things, and it really didn't lead anywhere. While I do do this stuff because I want to not just for sex it would certainly be nice to have it resipricated. I think from memory we have had sex 2-3 times in 5-6 months, 1 of those times made the baby which made the conception date very easy to know. She has been so unlucky to have had nausea and really bad back pains. I try and keep the house clean, I will rub her back, I will reheat the heat packs and try to make her feel as comfortable as possible. But lately I can't help but feel more like a brother or a friend, I hear that after birth it doesn't get any better and my greatest fear is to be in a sexless relationship. If it was bad before the pregnancy what's it's going to be like when bubs is part of the picture. I can see how less caring I am getting and I feel guilty feeling this way, which is only making me feel worse. I want to treat her how she deserves to be treated but I want to feel like I matter too I want to feel like I'm more then a slave to her needs and feel wanted. She tells me that I never initiate sex anymore but she stopped long before I did and I certainly tried, I even got told I was presuring her at one stage so I backed off and waited for her.. Well I'm still waiting and almost everytime I try it's a no, she is concerned that she is rejecting me when she says not tonight and in that sense I should feel like she cares but when not tonight becomes the only response it doesn't make me feel any less rejected. To me sex is a hugely important part of a relationship, i used to have severe Anxiety which caused me to release adrenaline whenever sex could happen, I had finally just overcome this 10yr problem before we met and started to have a great sex life while I was single and it feels like I am right back in a problem that troubled me for years. I don't really want to go back to that and for the last year and bit I pretty much have been right back there. It doesn't matter how much I raise it nothing really changes, I usually get the responses that she doesn't satisfy me and perhaps we should end things now. As soon as that's said I just keep quiet why raise it if I'm going to feel guilt tripped and now I'm totally withdrawn I don't bother trying to have sex with her, I'm not anywhere near as affectionate and just starting to not feel the same way as she does I guess.
Sorry for the rant I just need to know if I'm the only one or if anyone else has anything remotely similar to this.