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  1. #1
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    Default Vent: I feel like the neighbourhood crazy lady

    So my 2.5 DD has really been testing me lately; she very defiant and will do things I've just told her not to, then when I impose consequences she has these god awful tantrums. I know it's normal for children to have tantrums but honestly I've never seen anything like this before, she gets so full of rage she'll hold her breath and turn red and just scream bloody murder until her voice is hoarse.

    I try so hard to keep my cool and just ride it out and be firm in my consequences but lately it's been so difficult. Every day this week we've ended up in a screaming match with her having a tantrum and me yelling. I'm sure the neighbours can hear me, it's so humiliating and I just feel like I'm failing. Every night when I get into bed I think I need to research other methods of discipline like time outs, positive reinforcement etc. I actually should be better at this stuff, before I had her I was a teacher for crying out loud, but now I'm a SAHM whose turning into the crazy lady of the street screaming her head off at a small child... I don't really know the point of this thread, I guess I'm hoping I'm not the only one whose feels like this and wondering if anyone has any advice

  2. #2
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    This may be totally unhelpful because I've only been a mum for five minutes but I really like watching Supernanny episodes on YouTube. She seems to have some good strategies with house rules, boundaries, consistency and time outs?

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  4. #3
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    Default Vent: I feel like the neighbourhood crazy lady

    I've got no advice on discipline because DS is younger than your daughter and I have even less experience dealing with rebellion. That said, we have had mini tantrums. And you have my complete sympathy without judgement

    I read a great blog that was re-posted on Maggie Dent's Facebook page and it led me to a couple of books that I've really enjoyed reading. One is called "the whole-brained child". I've found the concepts in that interesting and easy to implement in our daily life. And when things go wrong and junior has a melt down, I don't feel like a failure - it's biology. It has also made me feel like I have some strategies to turn the meltdowns around into something positive. The book is a little bit sciency, so it may or may not appeal to people less nerdy than myself. But understanding where the meltdowns are coming from helps.

    I've also got a book here by Janet Lansbury ("no bad kids"), again that I found though the Maggi Dent Facebook page. I've only flipped through it so far and already found some gems of strategies to apply to keep us all sane (or at least saner).

    If you use Facebook and don't already follow Maggie Dent, it's worthwhile looking into because the page puts up some really terrific articles that I would never find otherwise.
    Last edited by clbj; 04-07-2015 at 10:49.

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    also don't forget your local library, or online, for finding books about these things, and everything else relating to kids. not every situation will be a successful outcome, but if you have enough choices, you have to find what suits you and your babies personality. also what might work with one child might be not so suited to the following children. knowledge is power. marie.

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    I'm so with you!!! I have a 3.5 year old boy and today he is super tired because we are currently trying to figure out how many sleeps to let him have each week so we can walk the fine line of tired enough to fall asleep before 9pm and rested enough to be a reasonable human being. Today he was a mess. I was counting down the hours until nap time, starting at 8:30am!!! I too, had a couple of moments when I screamed back at him luckily for me, I live a km from any neighbors so is only myself who hears my shame...

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    I am in the same position as yourself with my dd as I was a teacher also before being s SAHM so I thought I would be able to deal with her tantrums. My dd is 4 so older than your daughter but I found whenever she gets into the highly strung tantrum stage there is no getting through to her and she will begin hitting out at me. I tried initialy to stay calm and ride it out but have to say its near impossible. So my new resolution is that instead of putting her in time out I take myself away out of her space. This gives me s chance of staying calm snd her chance to calm down so I usually go to the bedroom and lock our door. A little harder to do maybe with a younger child as obviously she has to be safe. It works really well for us as it shows her I wont let her hurt me and I also stay calm so I am better to deal with it. She usually stays near the bedroom doir crying until she finally calms and we can then discuss issue and then give out consequence. Hope you find something that works for you.

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    Thanks so much for all the replies, I will definitely look into the books, websites and strategies suggested.

    Before the day was done we had 2 more screaming matches, it's so exhausting. DH is currently putting her to bed and I'm lying on the couch feeling like cr@p.. DH is going away for business next week and I'm honestly dreading it, I have a knot in my stomach just thinking about it.

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    I am the neighbourhood crazy lady. I learnt not to fight it. I embrace it. When she/he screams I well scream all you like it's not going to solve your problem or get you what you want. If you like I can lay down here and kick and scream too. Do it. It liberating and it shocks your little one and usually ends in laughter when you say something like doesn't mummy look funny screaming like a turkey and kicking like a horse. Do you think mummy will get what she wants from doing this. Well what could mummy do to get what to get what she wants. Etc...

    Try and think out of the box. I fail a lot but I have a lot of wins too.

    This parenting thing is dam hard.

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    I hear you sister!! My 2.5 year old is abominable - she was in her room for (the first of many) time outs by 8 am this morning! If there is something I want her to do that she doesn't want to, there is simply nothing I can do to make that happen. I have to practically press my entire weight on her to get her into the car seat, during which I will endure kicks, punches and bites. She abuses (physically) our cat constantly and nothing I say or do will make her stop. I am at my wits end ... We only moved here 6 months ago and I fear we are now known as the new, noisy, unpleasant neighbours

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    It is hard and there are no right answers! And what works today, doesn't tomorrow.

    You should make yourself a cuppa and a nice snack, sit down to read this article and know that you are doing ok, even if it doesn't feel like it.

    http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandst...n-a-good-thing

    Your daughter is probably going to grow up and achieve amazing things!

    Thanks for posting. It helps people like me to know that we aren't alone after one of those days/weeks/months

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    Mama Mirabelle  (04-07-2015)


 

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