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  1. #1
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    Default Feeling guilty!

    Its been awhile since I've been on but I've been struggling a lot lately with the return of my depression. I have my sister in laws wedding coming up on the weekend and am debating on whether I should take my special needs child.

    He is 9 years and is wheelchair bound. He cannot walk, talk or understand instructions. He has severe cerebral palsy and is pretty much like a big baby. He laughs, he crys but thats the only way he communicates. He gets over stimulated easy and gets extremely upset when this happens and will scream the place down.

    I have two other younger children who I will be taking with me. I guess I'm just feeling guilty as he has a different dad then my two younger kids and he seems to get left out of things a lot due to his unpredicative behaviour. Does it make me a bad mum if I don't take him? 😟

    Lea.

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    Of course not. Don't feel bad.
    You said it yourself, he gets overstimulated easily. It's better for him not to go. He will get overstimulated with all the people and noise and will then get upset.
    Why would you put him through it?

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    ReecesMum  (27-06-2015)

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    You'd actually be doing the right thing by him by not taking him. Weddings are such a big long event, and tbh even kids without additional needs struggle and dont find these adult events fun.

    Its just going to stress him out when he doesnt understand why he hasto be quiet sometimes, why things are getting very loud, why the lights are going out and flickers if camera flashes etc. all these people approaching you all etc.

    My children have autism; definitely not in the same league as your precious boy. And i wouldn't take them.

    Don't feel guilty. He doesnt experience things the way you are feeling them. *hugs hugs hugs*

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    Thanks ladies. I guess I'm looking for reassurance that I'm doing the right thing by leaving him at home. I just feel so guilty cause I'd like him to be a part of things as a family. I just worry people will think bad of me not taking him because they don't understand how hard it can be taking him places.

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    Quote Originally Posted by ReecesMum View Post
    Thanks ladies. I guess I'm looking for reassurance that I'm doing the right thing by leaving him at home. I just feel so guilty cause I'd like him to be a part of things as a family. I just worry people will think bad of me not taking him because they don't understand how hard it can be taking him places.
    People who love you and your son wont think badly. You could always say he isnt well if you think people wouldnt understand that he wouldnt cope.

    My middle child doesnt cope with life, i often need to leave him home with my dh for things. It upsets me more than it upsets him tho. He prefers it this way. im lucky he can verbalise that to me.

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    Default Feeling guilty!

    He's most happy when he's at home or school and that's about it unless he's having a good day. And yeah they would understand it's just the questions I hate. Where's Reece, how come he's not here? Etc and having to explain but like you said I could just say he's not well. Thanks for the reassurance ladies I really needed it as the guilt was getting to me.

    😊

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    Quote Originally Posted by ReecesMum View Post
    He's most happy when he's at home or school and that's about it unless he's having a good day. And yeah they would understand it's just the questions I hate. Where's Reece, how come he's not here? Etc and having to explain but like you said I could just say he's not well. Thanks for the reassurance ladies I really needed it as the guilt was getting to me.

    😊
    Anytime. I hope you have a lovely time and enjoy yourself

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    You're doing the right thing by not taking him. I'm sure many grown men would like to be left at home too!

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    Just had an idea. If you have FaceTime or Skype on your phone could you have a 5 minute video chat with Reece during the reception? Show him a few of the people and let him get a taste for what's goings on without getting overly stimulated? This way you are making a point of saying your boy is part of your family. If you make the call at bedtime it could also serve as a bedtime night-night.

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    ReecesMum  (27-06-2015)

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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    Just had an idea. If you have FaceTime or Skype on your phone could you have a 5 minute video chat with Reece during the reception? Show him a few of the people and let him get a taste for what's goings on without getting overly stimulated? This way you are making a point of saying your boy is part of your family. If you make the call at bedtime it could also serve as a bedtime night-night.
    Oh I forgot to mention he has vision impairment so he only has peripheral vision but even then that's still a good idea even just so he can hear what's going on. Thanks 👍


 

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