Bar or liquid? Lmao, troll.
Bar or liquid? Lmao, troll.
Back to the OP though, my mum made me eat mustard. It didn't work. I swear more than anyone I know and I like mustard. I fully expect my kids to swear because I set appalling standards. I've already planned the talk about time, place and waiting until they're adults, and will use the swear jar method. I think discussion and consequence like swear jars or withholding privileges is far more effective than any physical punishment.
I'll admit, I swear sometimes. My DS is almost 16 and has NEVER sworn in my presence. The one time I heard him cuss was when he was 13 and tripped over while walking and said "sh!t". Boy was his face red when he realised, I just giggled because it was so out of character and he was clearly embarrassed. I really don't know how I managed it, but he just knows I don't tolerate it. It's about respect.
Gosh what an interesting thread!! Usually kids follow parents as their examples. I've told my kids that swear words are red words (they are 7 & 5 & 2.5) and we don't use those words. I would never ever even think of putting soap etc in their mouths.. really there are other ways of punishment. I'd get them to write out ''I must not swear'' 50 times every time.. they will get sick of it believe me, especially when you make it more than 50 times.
I wouldn't make any child eat soap. How awful!
This last sentence is the clincher. I still hardly swear around my parents though oddly, they've relaxed and swear around me, though it makes me awkward because it sounds so strange. But their house rules while I was growing up were "no swearing". The end. I'll be a bit more relaxed because for me personally, I'm not offended by it, as long as it's not directed AT me IYKWIM. But every second word or just general filth I won't abide. It's about respecting people; I modify my language around people I know it will/likely will offend because I respect that not everyone is as relaxed about swearing as I am. I think the broader picture is teaching respect and appropriateness of behaviour (I maintain that a solid "FFAARRRKKKK" when stubbing one's little toe is not only OK, but absolutely necessary).
I'm going to take this seriously for now and assume the OP isn't trolling given the latter response.
I work with kids from really rough backgrounds, and they often swear a LOT. It's incredibly mild in terms of their general behavioural issues, but we insist on respect for others. That goes both ways though.
What works well with MOST kids, is along the lines of the following:
Child - swears at staff
Staff - "Please speak to me without swearing. I don't like being spoken to that way."
Child - continues swearing
Staff - "I'll speak to you when you talk to me without swearing." Walk away/ignore.
Continue repeating that line, or ignoring what they say. Very important to remain calm and consistent.
It can take a while to break habits...months with some kids...but it generally works well. When they're calm and not swearing, it can also be useful to discuss why you dislike swearing/ask them about why they swear or how they feel about it. Your views on swearing may seem obvious to you, but your kids won't necessarily understand why you dislike it, or agree with your point of view.
In the end, you can't control their behaviour. You can, however, insist that it's completely unacceptable in your presence/in certain situation, and enforce logical and relevant consequences.
I'm like you and pretty relaxed about language and with DH's potty mouth we new it wouldn't be long before DS was repeating things. We explained to him why other people would be offended by them, not to use them outside of the home and he could only use a word when he knew the meaning of it. He's been really good with this and will only say sh!t every now and then.
Pregnant for the first-time?
Not sure where to start? We can help!