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  1. #11
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    I think you have a chance, IF:

    - he is truly sorry and heartbroken that he has hurt you

    - he is willing to openly answer any questions and provide any details you ask in relation to this affair

    - he is determined to make it work

    - he is more than willing to go to counselling

    - he realises you will have moments where the mistrust will rear it's ugly head again because he's broken your trust. He will need to reassure you now and again by being transparent with his plans/whereabouts in situations you may not feel trusting of.

    This is all still very raw for you. No rash decisions need to be made. Just look after yourself at the moment. I hope he is fighting to save your relationship

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  3. #12
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    I am going to ask a huge question. For me this would decide.
    Would you know / would he have maned up and told you if you had not caught them? If you don't know then you need to really talk to him and see if he lies to you. Saying what you want to hear.
    You can get through it if you both still have the fight to try.
    But 7 years on it still hurts.

  4. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sookie Stackedhouse View Post
    I am going to ask a huge question. For me this would decide.
    Would you know / would he have maned up and told you if you had not caught them? If you don't know then you need to really talk to him and see if he lies to you. Saying what you want to hear.
    You can get through it if you both still have the fight to try.
    But 7 years on it still hurts.
    I dont know. I honestly think he was going to ride it out at home until he figured if things got better with us after bubs comes and then either left or stayed.

    Things were never going to be good with him talking to her as his mind was elsewhere and he knows that. He told me they were best friends and thats why they talked so much, but i knew something was up.

    He also said last night he doesnt know if it was necessarily her or if he just felt so detached from home and reality that it might have ended up being someone else...hes basically felt single for a year.

  5. #14
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    ~Marigold~ is offline You make me happy, when skies are grey
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mod-Degrassi View Post
    I think you have a chance, IF:

    - he is truly sorry and heartbroken that he has hurt you

    - he is willing to openly answer any questions and provide any details you ask in relation to this affair

    - he is determined to make it work

    - he is more than willing to go to counselling

    - he realises you will have moments where the mistrust will rear it's ugly head again because he's broken your trust. He will need to reassure you now and again by being transparent with his plans/whereabouts in situations you may not feel trusting of.

    This is all still very raw for you. No rash decisions need to be made. Just look after yourself at the moment. I hope he is fighting to save your relationship
    ^ This.

    I am so sorry, I can't even imagine..

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    I just never thought i was so gullible

  7. #16
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    you are not gullible. you trusted him! Can I just say 'what an ar$e'!!! What man in his right mind would be telling his pregnant partnar he was thinking of calling it off early on?? Who cares?! What a slap in the face especially when you are carrying his son! Jerk.

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  9. #17
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    Did he have an affair with someone in the armed forces? Is he likely to see the other woman involved regularly?

    If the answer is yes then I think it will be very, very difficult for him to let go of that.

    I'm sorry, I know that's not what you want to hear

  10. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by misho View Post
    Did he have an affair with someone in the armed forces? Is he likely to see the other woman involved regularly?

    If the answer is yes then I think it will be very, very difficult for him to let go of that.

    I'm sorry, I know that's not what you want to hear
    She has posted elsewhere now, and also has to deal with her partner of 7 years too. He has also found out. I dont think she is willing to continue speaking to be honest. After i caught them and confronted them i think seeing me irl and heavily pregnant really hit home.

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  12. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by heplusme View Post
    She has posted elsewhere now, and also has to deal with her partner of 7 years too. He has also found out. I dont think she is willing to continue speaking to be honest. After i caught them and confronted them i think seeing me irl and heavily pregnant really hit home.
    For your sake & bub's sake I hope you're right.


    Please take care of yourself

  13. #20
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    BH-KatiesMum is offline Community Manager
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    dont make any major promises right now.

    he is the one who has stuffed this up - and he is the one who is going to have to jump through hoops if he wants to make it work again.

    Unless he accepts that, then no I dont think you can get your relationship back.

    If he is already saying 'only if you move on from this' ... that's a big flag to me that he is already blaming you for his infidelity. And that isnt going to work.

    HE is the one who chose to see someone else. HE is the one who has broken your relationship, and he will have to do a lot to earn your trust back.

    And not just the trust that he wont stray, but the trust to allow you to let yourself love him and risk that hurt again ...

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