DF and i have been together for 2.5 years and i am currently 35 weeks pregnant. He has been on 14 months of deployments with work in the past 17 months- so we have spent alot of our relationship apart.
I have found out that he was having an 'emotional affair' for four months whilst away. It became physical last Friday, and i caught them. Since then he has come out and said he feels he hasnt loved me since Feb last year, after the first deployment and he thought about breaking up with me then.
Im devastated. Here i have been in this little bubble of his words, how he wanted to be a family and a husband and he loved me etc..secretly he was always planning to leave. Now im pregnant and stuck to him forever-i just can't believe that someone could live two lives like that.
He believes he just got lazy and stopped bothering as he knew he was away for so long, and thats why he fell out of love.
So now, he is saying he wants to try and work things out so he can stay in the house and support me and the baby, and that he wants to see if we can get that love back. Im worried hes only doing this because hes scared of losing our son, and in turn my heart will be broken again in a years time when he checks back out and ive wasted another year on him.
On the other hand i feel like having our son and us going through this will bring us closer and remind him that he did was this life at some point.
I dont know, im so confused.
Can relationships survive this? How do you get the love back? How do i bring the 'honeymoon' period back?
Being apart for such a length of time was bound to take a huge toll on our relationship.
Logically i want to leave him as i am hurting so much and he has been a scumbag, but i love him and i believe we owe it to eachother and our son to try.. so please no negative 'leave him' comments.
I dont know how i could have been so blind and now ended up in this position