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  1. #521
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    Hi Kelly,
    Sorry to hear what you're going through with your family.
    re using an egg donor - for me it is what it is, you will never be able to change that it's not your egg, but the love you hold for that child is no different to it being your own egg baby and the fact that you've nurtured that pregnancy gives you a connection to your baby that adoptiin/fostering will never do - my blood helped create hers etc... I do look at her and wonder about our donor, but its always with gratitude and love, I don't ever think of it in a negative light. Some others may not even think ofctgeir donor at all or push it aside but I'm a pretty practical and open person. I've never struggled with using a donor, I figure my girl is unique, our family is unique. And the way I figure it, teens are always going to find things to be angry about... trust me!
    You have to be comfortable with the decisions you make at the end of the day.
    Em x

  2. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to emski72 For This Useful Post:

    BlondeinBrisvegas  (29-09-2015),Kelly70  (27-09-2015)

  3. #522
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    Thanks Em - really appreciate your input on this topic which seems to be a bit of a hot topic overall these days. I watched the Australian Story feature last night on the woman who used donor eggs and donor sperm to create her daughter and it was fascinating, ESP her plans to create siblings and have them all stay in touch. Kind of a nice idea!! I'm still a bit troubled by the anonymous nature of both donors though - my counsellors when going through ivf as a single (using my own eggs) said that donor conceived kids do much better when they can contact their donors as adults. I'm worried about that component, as were the women on Aus Story last night.

    Still a bit to work through I think!!

    Hugs to all xx

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    BlondeinBrisvegas  (29-09-2015)

  5. #523
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    You can find a local Donor, why not join up at eggdonationaustralia and have a sticky beak

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    BlondeinBrisvegas  (29-09-2015)

  7. #524
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    Yep that occurred to me too @emski72 - worth having a look for sure. I'm worried I might be a lower choice for prospective egg donors being single, but for me I think it would be preferable to anonymous.

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    Default Starting IVF Mar/Apr 2014 - aged 43, single #4

    Double post

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    Kelly, my ipad is rubbish at doing long replies. I loses the text so I'll keep this short for now then reply properly when I get home. Your concerns show what a brilliant mum you'll be because you're thinking about ed from your child's point of view. I had exactly the same concerns as a single mum using both donor egg and sperm. Could your current sperm donor still contribute so all you need is an egg?
    Check out Bongleys last post on the over 40s thread. It could be great timing.
    Unfortunately, and I had a lot of problems with this, using donors in SA is completely anonymous forever, well until hopefully they have a change of law. I tried to chose donors where they gave a little too much personal info away so they might be traceable at a later stage.

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    BlondeinBrisvegas  (29-09-2015)

  12. #527
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    @Kelly70 Sending much love & hugs your way Luvxoxo

    Just wanted to let you know I'm still here following along😊 Can't help with your donor questions so am taking a seat on the sidelines😊xo

  13. #528
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    @Kelly70 - sorry it's taken me so long to chip in my 2 cents worth, I've gone back to work and I'm a little all over the place, but reading along.

    I was really worried about a teenage tantrum too. I had visions of a teenage girl screaming 'you're not my mum!' followed by door slamming. Reality is, I probably said stuff just as hurtful to my bio mum - I definitely did some door slamming! All we can do is provide as much love, support and info as we can, and what will be will be. Hopefully that love and support means the tough times about 'who am I?' (teenage right of passage) is as grounded as it can be. We intend to have the donor element as something that T always knows.

    In Greece donation is anonymous by law. We'll never know more about her than we do now. It's part of why I want a 100% genetic sibling for Thomas.

    You could look at the world egg bank? Bloody expensive but the donors who are prepared to donate to Aussies know they may be contacted later I think.

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    Tahli  (29-09-2015)

  15. #529
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    As for it being different to an OE baby. Well, yes it is, and you don't get to forget because any time you go to the Dr and they say 'is there a history of X?' and you have say 'dunno about the donor'. But I do not believe I could be any more connected to my little man that what I am. I am his world just as much as he is mine. Genes be damned.

    Although the decision to go to DE was very easy to make (having a family was just so important to us), I really grieved the loss the ability to have an OE baby, but from the day Thomas was born I no longer cared, I don't want an OE baby any more, this is the baby that was always meant to be mine, and I am so grateful :-)

    It is a tough choice to have to make, and it is not a path for everyone, but I believe we have what it takes to help out little man through any struggles he has with the donor thing. And for what it's worth, from everything you've written, both to others and about yourself, since you started this thread, you have such a kind heart, such strength, empathy and compassion, I believe you have what it takes too, if you decided this path was right for you. Xxx

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  17. #530
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    Quote Originally Posted by Vixjc View Post
    As for it being different to an OE baby. Well, yes it is, and you don't get to forget because any time you go to the Dr and they say 'is there a history of X?' and you have say 'dunno about the donor'. But I do not believe I could be any more connected to my little man that what I am. I am his world just as much as he is mine. Genes be damned.

    Although the decision to go to DE was very easy to make (having a family was just so important to us), I really grieved the loss the ability to have an OE baby, but from the day Thomas was born I no longer cared, I don't want an OE baby any more, this is the baby that was always meant to be mine, and I am so grateful :-)

    It is a tough choice to have to make, and it is not a path for everyone, but I believe we have what it takes to help out little man through any struggles he has with the donor thing. And for what it's worth, from everything you've written, both to others and about yourself, since you started this thread, you have such a kind heart, such strength, empathy and compassion, I believe you have what it takes too, if you decided this path was right for you. Xxx
    I want to like this post 2000 times

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