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  1. #41
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    Abdolutely not, it's soooo important to choose a name you both like. I would never change my childs name later so choose wisely to begin is a must.

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    It's just a name. He's the parent just as much as you are so it's important you both agree on the name

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    Use it as a middle name?

    Dad named their youngest a name mum hated (and still hates 7 years later), they still fight about it often.

    If I really truly loved a name, and H absolutely hated it, I would push for it as a middle name, and choose a first name together.

  4. #44
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    ~Marigold~ is offline You make me happy, when skies are grey
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    How would you feel if he forced you to name the child HIS favourite name and you hated it?

  5. #45
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    Quote Originally Posted by bigmummahen View Post
    We can't use it as a middle name as its too strong to use as a middle name. He hasn't given valid reasons, just says it's too old fashioned and doesn't like it.

    The thing that annoys me is that he won't suggest other names, or if he does they are names that have been used to death which I would never consider.

    I understand that his opinion is important, but I think I will resent him if I can't use the name. Particularly that he is a male and I know he will get over it, but I don't think I will.
    Why are they not valid reasons? They are valid to him.
    He will resent you if you use the name though, and that's not ok either.
    Him being male has nothing to do with it.

    Quote Originally Posted by bigmummahen View Post
    It's not an old fashioned name though. That's just the excuse he's using because I continue to question why.. It has always been 'I just don't like it' and completely shuts me off without suggesting serious names.

    His suggestions are always stupid like rattling off any name that rhymes.. E.g Layla, Ayla, Kayla for a girl.

    I'm unsure how I'm being unfair if he isn't going to take it seriously and I have a name that I absolutely love and I know I'm not going to find a replacement that I feel the same about. Yet I'm supposed to negotiate with him, who clearly doesn't give a sh#t? If he presented a name that he felt so strongly about, I would consider it.

    But until he steps up and actually suggests a name that isn't a joke. I don't think I'll be budging.
    Maybe he likes the sound of those rhyming names? A friend of mine has 4 kids and all their names rhyme. YOU think they're not serious suggestions because you want this particular name.

    I don't see how a strong name cannot be used as a middle name anyway.

    ETA: You're being unfair because you are claiming he isn't taking it seriously. When actually you are trying to invalidate his hate for your name.

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  7. #46
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    both parents need to agree on the name of the baby. that is just how it should be. equal partners equal input. in my case, I thought up the names, and dh either agreed or disagreed. he never suggested any name, but we did agree. if you have some time before baby is due, I would put a list of names on the fridge including the one name you love, and see what he thinks after a while. sometimes a name can grow on you. if this situation doesn't change, if he cant begin to suggest other names. I would make the choice. and he can live with it. he doesn't seem to be that concerned really. marie.

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    Definately couldnt name a kid without both on board. Not fair for the baby either....imagine finding out later that your dad hates your name.
    If there was a name I truly loved and dh hated...I would try alot to get him on board but at the end of the day if he didnt like it then we would find one we both were fond of.
    Good luck

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    No way would I even consider it.

    Imagine if you hated the name Mary, no valid reason why! you just hated it. Once bub was born your husband filled in the papers and called the baby Mary KNOWING you hated it.

    I'm assuming you would just "get over it" as that's what you are expecting of your DH.

    The baby is still his child too and he has every right to have a name he likes too. I had my heart set on a name for years! DH hated it, so it was crossed off the list. Simple.

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    OP, we don't have kids yet but we did pick out names in case we do have some.

    H wanted Italian names- he has two kids already with Italian names so I was happy to go along with that. I'm from Europe anyway, so it sort of felt like it was taking my heritage into account too,

    I pick first child's name, he does second. I picked a girls and boys name, and he did the same.
    We both wrote 5 names in order of preference.

    As it turned out I preferred his girl choice, so that the first name and my girl choice is the middle name. It goes really well together too.
    He preferred my boys first and his second. Also went well together.

    We actually ended up with 3 girls and 3 boys names, but stuck with first girl and first boy preferences, and just made a note of the others.

    ETA: there was one name on my list that H didn't like, so I crossed it out. I really liked it, but there is no way I am taking the chance that my H could have the slightest resentment over what we name our kids (he feels the same). What if he then resented the child? Nope, not happening.
    Last edited by DT75; 16-06-2015 at 11:29.

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    My DH never offered anything in the way of suggestions when naming any of our three kids but he definitely still had the power of veto. There were a couple of names I adored that he just didn't like at all so they were crossed off the list and while I still love those names, I love the names we ended up using even more.

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