My Confession time:
Does anyone else have an issue with eating out of stress/comfort and/or just plain binging?
I have this issue every day- I eat as a time-passer during the day- I snack constantly and feel like I'm a bit in limbo when I'm not. I'm pregnant ATM so it's worse but even when not I've always had this issue- for many many years.
Night time is the worst- and when I'm stressed with the kids- most weekends/nights. It can get really bad- most days it's really bad.
I eat way, way more than my body needs- I know that- and I eat way more of the wrong foods as well- comfort foods like hot, pastery/cheesy/meaty carbish meals and of course more often than not sugary snacks/sweet tooth anything- and drinks like coffee, choc milk, juices etc.
When there's not much in the house it can be things like muesli bars, fruits, any snack foods I've bought for kids lunches (given they have what they need) even honey on bread or bananas and avocados! (Like a lot of bananas and eating whole avocados- sometimes more than one!
But the point is I'm talking excessive, as in going back to the fridge/cupboard 7/8/15 times in a short period (sometimes 1-2 hours) and putting god knows how many calories into my body in that time. Also just plain snacking/eating uneccessary extra meals all throughout the day as a habit. Eating when I'm full and still eating when I feel sick from eating- etc etc
My weight has fluctuated over the years due to a pattern of this and countering it with periods of extreme health/monitoring of food choices and overexercising until I'm down 10-20kgs again but I'm never able to sustain this- I've never gotten absolutely huge before- but at my worse times I'm around 75-85kgs (and I'm a petite, small framed person naturally so certainly well overweight)
I know this is a big problem and it's psychological- my life is pretty high stress (as so many can relate) I'm single, I have three young kids who have a lot of their own issues I'm working on (speech delays, behavioural issues, physical disorders), I'm pregnant ATM, I'm trying to get back into working after 7 years a married sahm (just walked out of my first full time job due to bullying and am now having a break until post surrogacy- 10 weeks or so to go) my house is a battle to keep clean, I get stressed, I have pets to care for, family issues, I'm in and out of casualish love interests (all when kids are with their dad) and I'm lonely- but regardless of the reasons- it's deeper than that- it's something I've struggled with much longer than a lot of this has been the case.
I know exactly how to eat well, how to eat responsibly and how to portion/control balance etc.. On paper- but this is an addiction- in fact I've never been more strongly addicted to anything in my life... Without it I feel stressed/ empty like I NEED it- like I'm starving, like I'm missing something, like there's nothing that can get me through without it.
I know some of the tactics- distraction, drinking lots of water, exercise, all the usuals which I implement when on my health kicks- but none of it seems to be able to overpower my urges to eat- especially when stressed/upset or bored. It's completely overpowering- I feel like a drug addict- but to food!
A lot of people would never guess this about me- it's a big secret- and tbh most of the time I'm not that big a person so it may appear from the outside I don't have this issue- but I do- I definitely definitely do!!!
I've set up some sessions with a psych to bring this all up and finally seek help to address it (among other things) I'm taking this time from work to really address a lot if things and find out more about myself- hoping I can find a way to live healthier in a much more sustainable long term way- particularly once I'm no longer pregnant- I intend to join a gym with MMA, lots if different group classes and 24/7 access when I can to try and make a habit of one side of things when I can- I know keeping busy definitely helps- at times in my life I've been so busy that I suddenly started eating normally (mostly) and it has shown me I'm more than capable in the right circumstances- but again it doesn't always last.
Surely I'm not the only person around with this particular problem- maybe to a lessor extent than mine or in some way- but has anyone had this and beaten it? Or does anyone else secretly way overeat and are not sure why?