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  1. #1
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    Default Comfort/stress/binge eating

    My Confession time:

    Does anyone else have an issue with eating out of stress/comfort and/or just plain binging?

    I have this issue every day- I eat as a time-passer during the day- I snack constantly and feel like I'm a bit in limbo when I'm not. I'm pregnant ATM so it's worse but even when not I've always had this issue- for many many years.

    Night time is the worst- and when I'm stressed with the kids- most weekends/nights. It can get really bad- most days it's really bad.

    I eat way, way more than my body needs- I know that- and I eat way more of the wrong foods as well- comfort foods like hot, pastery/cheesy/meaty carbish meals and of course more often than not sugary snacks/sweet tooth anything- and drinks like coffee, choc milk, juices etc.

    When there's not much in the house it can be things like muesli bars, fruits, any snack foods I've bought for kids lunches (given they have what they need) even honey on bread or bananas and avocados! (Like a lot of bananas and eating whole avocados- sometimes more than one!

    But the point is I'm talking excessive, as in going back to the fridge/cupboard 7/8/15 times in a short period (sometimes 1-2 hours) and putting god knows how many calories into my body in that time. Also just plain snacking/eating uneccessary extra meals all throughout the day as a habit. Eating when I'm full and still eating when I feel sick from eating- etc etc

    My weight has fluctuated over the years due to a pattern of this and countering it with periods of extreme health/monitoring of food choices and overexercising until I'm down 10-20kgs again but I'm never able to sustain this- I've never gotten absolutely huge before- but at my worse times I'm around 75-85kgs (and I'm a petite, small framed person naturally so certainly well overweight)

    I know this is a big problem and it's psychological- my life is pretty high stress (as so many can relate) I'm single, I have three young kids who have a lot of their own issues I'm working on (speech delays, behavioural issues, physical disorders), I'm pregnant ATM, I'm trying to get back into working after 7 years a married sahm (just walked out of my first full time job due to bullying and am now having a break until post surrogacy- 10 weeks or so to go) my house is a battle to keep clean, I get stressed, I have pets to care for, family issues, I'm in and out of casualish love interests (all when kids are with their dad) and I'm lonely- but regardless of the reasons- it's deeper than that- it's something I've struggled with much longer than a lot of this has been the case.

    I know exactly how to eat well, how to eat responsibly and how to portion/control balance etc.. On paper- but this is an addiction- in fact I've never been more strongly addicted to anything in my life... Without it I feel stressed/ empty like I NEED it- like I'm starving, like I'm missing something, like there's nothing that can get me through without it.

    I know some of the tactics- distraction, drinking lots of water, exercise, all the usuals which I implement when on my health kicks- but none of it seems to be able to overpower my urges to eat- especially when stressed/upset or bored. It's completely overpowering- I feel like a drug addict- but to food!

    A lot of people would never guess this about me- it's a big secret- and tbh most of the time I'm not that big a person so it may appear from the outside I don't have this issue- but I do- I definitely definitely do!!!

    I've set up some sessions with a psych to bring this all up and finally seek help to address it (among other things) I'm taking this time from work to really address a lot if things and find out more about myself- hoping I can find a way to live healthier in a much more sustainable long term way- particularly once I'm no longer pregnant- I intend to join a gym with MMA, lots if different group classes and 24/7 access when I can to try and make a habit of one side of things when I can- I know keeping busy definitely helps- at times in my life I've been so busy that I suddenly started eating normally (mostly) and it has shown me I'm more than capable in the right circumstances- but again it doesn't always last.

    Surely I'm not the only person around with this particular problem- maybe to a lessor extent than mine or in some way- but has anyone had this and beaten it? Or does anyone else secretly way overeat and are not sure why?
    Last edited by KiWolf; 12-06-2015 at 21:12.

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    I stress eat as well and binge after the kids go to bed. The only way I can stop that is not watching tv. I read in bed or sew so I cannot eat.

    Failed today tho.

    wifey of hubby who is always away. mother of two girls who are always amusing.

  3. The Following User Says Thank You to Rose&Aurelia&Hannah For This Useful Post:

    KiWolf  (12-06-2015)

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    Default Comfort/stress/binge eating

    Thanks Rose&aurelia nice to hear I'm not alone- it feels like such a big secret to me- but the pattern at times seems to take a dive and get way worse until I'm just eating crap foods all the time and so much if I saw it all on paper my head would spin-

    I feel like I can't explain enough how much I go through some days- and frankly a lot of days.. It can't be good for me :/ I really want to stop and fix it but it's the most overpowering thing in the world to me and I've failed to fix it many many times over the years.

    Thanks for helping me feel less alone- *hug*

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    I'm the same. Exactly.

    My level of self control in terms of eating is a huge insight into my mental state.

    When I'm feeling good I am in total control. I once went 60 hours without eating because I was at a friend's house and they only had junk food, so me being 'in control' isn't healthy either. I'm in a bit of denial about my eating tbh.

    I can't help but you're definitely not alone.

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    KiWolf  (12-06-2015)

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    I am in the same boat. I am a huge comfort/stress eater and it frustrates me. I am also all or nothing - once I have eaten something "bad" for the day my inner voice tells me "that's the day ruined" and it spirals downwards from there.

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    KiWolf  (12-06-2015),TaylasWorld  (12-06-2015)

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    Thank you Harvs- I've been in denial about this pretty much my whole adult life..so I get what you're saying there- I mean I've known when I'm slipping down a spiral and I know I eat more than I need to every single day- but the denial part is that I can just stop. That I can design my own "health plan" that involves eating bare minimum cals of ONLY boiled meats, veggies, fruits and complex carbs (no extras no sauces- no or very little treats etc) and exercise pattern and it will just magically become easy/go away and I'll be able to sustain it- time and time again I've proven this to be wrong.

    Even when adjusting it or tryig different strategies (one lollipop a day for sweet tooth or chewing gum in between, drinking soda water or eating 3 big meals or eating 6 tiny ones etc etc) it still just eventually gets overpowered by the urge to eat 2 bananas, 3 chocolate bars, a giant mac and cheese, 4 hot milos and a bunch of bread- maybe some grapes and celery to be healthy- and then 4 bowls of cereal- lol
    Last edited by KiWolf; 12-06-2015 at 22:03.

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    Quote Originally Posted by sajimum View Post
    I am in the same boat. I am a huge comfort/stress eater and it frustrates me. I am also all or nothing - once I have eaten something "bad" for the day my inner voice tells me "that's the day ruined" and it spirals downwards from there.
    Yes! The it's ruined voice after one slip up then the whole day is a write off anyway so I may as well eat whatever now- then 7 meals and several snacks later comes the regret.. :/

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    Well, for what it's worth, this is pretty much my mental image of you from your posts

    ImageUploadedByThe Bub Hub1434110291.248843.jpg

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    Quote Originally Posted by harvs View Post
    Well, for what it's worth, this is pretty much my mental image of you from your posts

    Attachment 70717
    Haha oh Harvs that's so sweet! Thank you lovely- certainly not always the case I promise

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    Oh @KiWolf, five years ago I could have written your post, word for word (excluding the bits about kids! ).

    It is sooooooooo common. So much more common than you would think, and kudos for being brave enough to post, it's clearly letting other people share about it too!

    For many years (literally since I was 12 years old), I tried to 'control' my eating and lose weight and would go into a binge/diet cycle. I would lose 20kg, gain 20kg.... And so on and so on. I too felt like a drug addict, it's such a horrible feeling. I remember about 8 years ago, sitting on my couch at home, waiting for my housemate to go to sleep so I could binge and getting so edgy because she wouldn't leave!

    What I've learned is that this isn't an issue that can be fixed by losing weight or just 'controlling' yourself.

    For me, what worked was a combination of mindfulness, a concept called intuitive eating - where you stop restricting food groups in that all or nothing diet mentality (there are some awesome books on the subject by Geneen Roth that I would strongly recommend) and spending some time with a psychologist to figure out why I did this to myself and what drove the behaviour.

    In the last few years, I can count on less than one hand the times that I've had a binge in the way I used to. I still eat junk sometimes, but in normal portions and with other people around me - it's so freeing! I remember back in the day wondering if I could ever just eat 1 chocolate bar and enjoy it, rather than eating 3 in secret and hating myself, or not eating any for 6 months (like I did once!).

    Even though it's not about the weight, for what it's worth, I'm still a little overweight, but my weight doesn't fluctuate anymore - so I've been losing weight slowly over the last year (before I was pregnant) quite easily and without feeling deprived - and this time it staying off! Also - I don't hate my body anymore, even when I am technically overweight... It's such a nice feeling!

    Sorry for the epic novel post, but I hope it helped a bit. Please feel free to PM if you want any other info! Good luck xx


 

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