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  1. #221
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    Oh sunny. I feel your pain. I was really hoping this is the one for you. Having gone through a similar hcg roller coaster in Jan-Mar last year, I just hope things either pick up or resolve quickly for you. Limbo isn't the nicest place to be with these things.

    BIG GIANT HUGS

  2. #222
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    Hubbie took the call so didn't get a number, but the levels are continuing to fall. On a positive, not an ectopic. Phew

  3. #223
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    I'm so sorry to hear that things didn't work out. I won't lie, this will be an incredibly difficult time.
    Everyone deals with it differently, but I felt guilty for being so upset. People that haven't been through it will say some unintentionally hurtful things (eg at least you know you can get pregnant, at least it was early etc). But a friend of mine put everything in perspective for me. She'd lost a baby before she even knew she was pregnant, and also lost a baby at 1 day old. She told me her grief for both babies was exactly the same. After that I felt like I was allowed to feel the way I did, and it made it so much easier.
    Do whatever you need to do to help work through your emotions.
    My thoughts are with you xx

  4. #224
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    Oh Sunny. I'm so sorry. You're free to feel however you want. BUT you have to accept my BIG GIANT VIRTUAL HUGS!

  5. #225
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    Thanks ladies. I love having you both to vent to. Work is so busy I haven't had too much time to think about it. That's a blessing at least.
    It feels so much worse that not only did I lose the pregnancy but we keep throwing all this money down the drain to get no where. Thinking positive thoughts for the next cycle. I see Kate next week.

  6. #226
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    Oh, Sunny. I feel your pain. I actually didn't really feel bad about the money until we gave up. If felt like each cycle, the cost of my take home baby was going up and up but at the end of the day, I'd bring home another baby and the money wouldn't matter. Now it feels like I gave away tens of thousands of $$ for no good cause. I also contemplated these new clinics where the whole cycle cost is covered by medicare, but the thought of having to due extra stims (they give you less meds, so fewer follicles) and having EPU without anaesthetic is mind boggling to me given the pain I've experienced every time!

    Part of me keeps thinking in the back of my mind that we should go back and try again but the sensible part of me knows that's not a good choice. Now we are done and are setting about travelling the world. Thailand next month, Europe June/July and Hawaii, Maldives or Fiji for Christmas. I can't complain about my life.

  7. #227
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    Hi guys. Had another appointment with Kate. More testing for me - nk killer cells, etc immune stuff and a scratch of the lining midway through next cycle. Also pgd testing the last 2 embryos. If they are duds, well better than torturing myself through another tww.
    So we have a plan. Another plan, which I like....
    Kizmetzing your travel plans sound great. I need a holiday. When do you head to Europe?
    I would like to put ivf behind me one way or another but dragging it out for another year.
    I am going well, burying myself in work for now, but have made the resolution to step back by May.
    How are you going Spec? Baby bump yet?

  8. #228
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    Hi guys. Had another appointment with Kate. More testing for me - nk killer cells, etc immune stuff and a scratch of the lining midway through next cycle. Also pgd testing the last 2 embryos. If they are duds, well better than torturing myself through another tww.
    So we have a plan. Another plan, which I like....
    Looks like the pregnancy has completely resolved itself. Beta 35 now, one more test next week hopefully back to zero. Bleeding has finally stopped. Hooray!
    Kizmetzing your travel plans sound great. I need a holiday. When do you head to Europe?
    I would like to put ivf behind me one way or another but dragging it out for another year.
    The low cost clinics sound appealing but I don't think I would go there either. I just wonder how one plan can fit all? It can't purely be a numbers game ie put enough embryos back get a baby. Their results will tell the story long term. The dollars is such a big issue though. Where do you draw the line? There are so many things I could have done with that money.
    I am going well, burying myself in work for now, but have made the resolution to step back by May.
    How are you going Spec? Baby bump yet?

  9. #229
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    I agree with your sentiments Kitmetzing about the money. Whilst I am still clinging to hope of a baby it is just the cost of getting a beautiful baby. However that negative second personality of mine just sits there adding up the money of how much you wasted getting "nothing". I don't think I will be one of those people going through ivf for years!

  10. #230
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    Hey Sunny, Drawing the line is a tough, tough, tough decision. DH and I drew it before we even started IVF, before we had Isabelle. I think it's important to just do what suits you. If I was determined to have another, I think I'd have to have a good break between efforts of intensely trying or I'd go completely and utterly mad!


 

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