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  1. #61
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    Quote Originally Posted by BettyV View Post
    Spreading the word about fatal distraction and ways to minimise the risk is far more productive than arguing about why it'll never happen to you.
    What if that person (such as blessedwith3) is doing the things that would minimise the risk? (Managing their stress levels, emotions, setting boundaries around work, not talking on the phone while driving, not driving when severely sleep deprived etc).

  2. #62
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    Hmm. I never do any of the dangerous things you mention above VP, but I still find myself walking into a room and completely forgetting why I went in there in the first place. I also sometimes put the washing in the washing machine and forget to press start. And I realise that isn't the same as leaving a baby in the back of a car. But I am still startled that things can just disappear from my brain like that.

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  4. #63
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    Quote Originally Posted by beebs View Post
    Hmm. I never do any of the dangerous things you mention above VP, but I still find myself walking into a room and completely forgetting why I went in there in the first place. I also sometimes put the washing in the washing machine and forget to press start. And I realise that isn't the same as leaving a baby in the back of a car. But I am still startled that things can just disappear from my brain like that.
    Those sort of things happen to me to..

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    Haha, good! I don't feel so bad now

    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    Those sort of things happen to me to..

  6. #65
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    Not sure I agree with this? I think parents who don't adequately acknowledge and manage the fact that they have far too much on their plate are more at risk.

    And this is one of the reasons why I find it hard to just give parents a free pass on - if parents have far too much on their plates that they can't concentrate on parenting without risking such a major stuff up then that's at least partly on them.

    Not meaning to be contentious that's just how I feel.
    This is heartbreaking. I know right now I have too much on my plate. But with dh interstate, my grandfather in hospital and the kids plus fatigue from pregnancy I'm permanently exhausted.

    What should give? I try bloody hard to be a good parent but accidents happen. Most days I barely recall how I get to work I'm on auto pilot.

    Quote Originally Posted by LoveLivesHere View Post
    The 'too much on my plate' was a newborn who didn't sleep well and the rest of family down with the flu my self included..
    But yes I do and will always blame myself. So there is no need for you to point it out and rub salt into a open wound.
    Hugs. It's truly hard parenting when you are sick.

    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    The article didn't really change my views on culpability though - and it didn't convince me about the science behind fatal attraction syndrome - there was more commentary and opinion in the article than science. I think 60 minutes was more convincing in that regard.

    One thing in the article that struck me was the line that describing the tragedies as an accident suggests they aren't preventable. And I'm of the view that in a lot if cases they are preventable.

    The article mentions that a combination of stress, emotion, lack of sleep and change in routine is a recipe for disaster. If someone is so stressed and emotional that they are at risk of leaving their child in a car then they need to put their hand up and ask for help and if that's not available (because yes I know support services aren't always up to par) they need to step back and take a breather. If they don't and their child comes to harm then yes I think they are culpable.

    If someone is severely sleep deprived, drives a car and kills someone then they are culpable - to me it doesn't matter that they are a loving parent they did something a reasonable person should have known not to do. The only possible mitigating factor to this is (in my mind) mental illness where someone does not have the ability to analyse risk like a person who is mentally healthy can.

    As for the father Harrison in the article. Don't get me wrong I feel for him and his family. The article mentioned he was preoccupied with work problems and on his cell phone talking. He was distracted and stressed, his child wasn't his top priority for a chunk of time the child was in his care, he didn't check himself and set boundaries around his work, so yes I think he was negligent and yes I agree with the prosecutors decision to charge him.
    Maybe you and @Blessedwith3boys need to share a pedestal.

    Dh is a good father but today when picking up the kids from daycare he only picked up the one child. Why? He thought the other was at kindy. She wasn't. She was at daycare and he didn't get her. He also didn't get their bags or lunchboxes.




    wifey of hubby who is always away. mother of two girls who are always amusing.

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  8. #66
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    Default 60 minutes tonight - fatal distraction story

    Quote Originally Posted by Rose&Aurelia View Post
    This is heartbreaking. I know right now I have too much on my plate. But with dh interstate, my grandfather in hospital and the kids plus fatigue from pregnancy I'm permanently exhausted.

    What should give? I try bloody hard to be a good parent but accidents happen. Most days I barely recall how I get to work I'm on auto pilot.



    Hugs. It's truly hard parenting when you are sick.



    Maybe you and @Blessedwith3boys need to share a pedestal.

    Dh is a good father but today when picking up the kids from daycare he only picked up the one child. Why? He thought the other was at kindy. She wasn't. She was at daycare and he didn't get her. He also didn't get their bags or lunchboxes.




    wifey of hubby who is always away. mother of two girls who are always amusing.
    Yes accidents do happen but if you get to a point when you know there is a reasonable likelihood of an accident happening then you need to distance yourself from certain high risk activities such as driving. Eg catch the bus or chuck a sickie instead of driving to work when you are severely sleep deprived. Not talking on your phone when you are driving.

    I don't think hubby not picking up a child from daycare makes him the devil or anything, not at all. But it sounds like there may have been other things on his mind and it might be a good idea to check into that before something else happens.

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  10. #67
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    Yes accidents do happen but if you get to a point when you know there is a reasonable likelihood of an accident happening then you need to distance yourself from certain high risk activities such as driving. Eg catch the bus or chuck a sickie instead of driving to work when you are severely sleep deprived. Not talking on your phone when you are driving.

    I don't think hubby not picking up a child from daycare makes him the devil or anything, not at all. But it sounds like there may have been other things on his mind and it might be a good idea to check into that before something else happens.
    Not everyone lives in a 2 adult household. Who is going to care for the kids when I'm sick ? Who is going to take them to school? Get me to the doctor? We can all minimise risk but isn't it far more sensible to acknowledge that it could happen to anyone and to take appropriate measures.

    Oh and why dh was upset? Yep the fact he has no idea when he is going to see the kids again is distressing. But there is bugger all we can do about that.



    wifey of hubby who is always away. mother of two girls who are always amusing.

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  12. #68
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rose&Aurelia View Post
    Not everyone lives in a 2 adult household. Who is going to care for the kids when I'm sick ? Who is going to take them to school? Get me to the doctor? We can all minimise risk but isn't it far more sensible to acknowledge that it could happen to anyone and to take appropriate measures.

    Oh and why dh was upset? Yep the fact he has no idea when he is going to see the kids again is distressing. But there is bugger all we can do about that.



    wifey of hubby who is always away. mother of two girls who are always amusing.
    I think withdrawing from high risk behavior is an appropriate measure.

    Not saying this is the case with you however if someone is so tired they are nearly falling asleep they shouldn't be driving full stop - if the school isn't within walking distance the kids stay home. If mum is sick and no one is there to help the kids sit in front of the TV (in a playpen if necessary). If you need to go to a doctor then call a taxi or change the appointment. There is no excuse IMO for engaging in risky behavior such as talking on your phone while driving or driving while so sleep deprived you have the same reaction times as someone who is under the influence of alcohol.

    Not saying you are doing these things - just an example.

    And I'm not saying that all parents have to be perfect and that parents can prevent all tragedies from happening. I suppose I am saying parents need to avoid the most obvious high risk activities in order to reduce the possibility of harm coming to their kids. If they do and an accident happens that (IMO) is quite different than if they don't and a tragedy happens.

    I don't know you and your hubby do it. Hats off to any Defence and FiFO families doing it tough.

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  14. #69
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    Default 60 minutes tonight - fatal distraction story

    Double post
    Last edited by sweetpeamummy; 09-06-2015 at 23:11.

  15. #70
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    We must all look pretty small to you from up on a horse that high, @VicPark. :-/

    Yes, it often happens to people who have too much on their plate but it can really be as simple as a change in routine that causes it. That lapse of memory happens and your brain substitutes the memory of doing it another day instead. Your brain is satisfied that the task is completed and you go about your day.

    I don't agree with those who are saying that people who don't believe it could happen to them are more at risk, they're not. It could happen to anyone and all it means is that they will sit on their high horses judging others for their mistakes unless, heaven forbid, it one day actually does happen to them.

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