I've seen parents who often say this line: "i'll give you 5 seconds to put that toy back" and the child obeys and follows his/her parents as soon as the 5 seconds are up..or "play gently"...any lines similar to that... How do you get to teach and get your child to listen to you by only saying that?
My 4.5 yr old boy seems to be having little improvements in controlling his emotions and hissy fits and as a boy who starts big school next year, I feel like he still doesn't seem to understand much of other people's feelings or the importance of people's advice to him, and even the consequences of his actions.
He does have frequent breakdowns and tantrums at home and public even over a small matter and quite occasionally when he feels his hearts are not that content he can breakdown easily. The more I give explanations (or warnings rather), the more i cannot calm him down, such as "i'm really gonna go now even if you don't want to come" (he still doesn't care and still stares at the toy section and if i take a step back, he screams and drags me back instead but still that doesn't make him give up yet) or "im gonna put your stuffed toy away if you keep throwing it to me" (he cries his heart out, tries to grab his toy back and tries to do little punches to get back at me! )
I know the only trick to calm him down is by giving him bribes which I RARELY use! I don't use bribes using toys, etc at any given situation as much as I can, even in public. So whenever he's crying his hearts out, I usually let him be.. although it will not be a good scenery and sight to see if you happen to see us.
I wonder if there are any magic words/sentences/acting tricks for us mothers that will work to calm down your child's breakdown/tantrums, no matter how much you're trying to explain it the best possible way?
One of the cheekiest behaviour that i have to cope with my lil boy is that the more I give pre-warning the more likely he'll ignore the warning, such as "if you want to play in that slide area, make sure you don't push the kid in front of you, or if you want to join the kids at the thomas train table, make sure you don't get upset if someone tries to touch your train too", but the aftermath of that warning is my boy did push another kid or he did get upset and angry over a boy who tried to take a look at his toy and wanted to do something physical to the other boy too even though i've told him beforehand.... sometimes I just pray that other kids' parents were not paying too much attention at us.
my son understands what he's done wrong and that he's just thrown a hissy fit, tantrum, ,etc.. because on a good day that he doesn't have his tantrums out, he can clearly share stories about that he should be like if he wants to be a good boy etc... I know he's learnt.... but on not so good days, chances are he will not listen to us all day long and he'll be a repeat offender! I know there's nothing in his daily activity that makes him upset, but maybe it's just me that cannot read his mind and heart? Maybe i've already forgotten what it feels like being a child and what a child needs?
Given that he will turn 5 in 3 months time, i feel like he should at least show his big boy behaviour ? or not yet?
He'll usually calm down by himself after the storm, but I always have to deal with his bad breakdowns and cries first before he finally calms down and realises that he'll not get what he wants or he needs just to listen to us.