Married 11 years (together 15) with a Dd1 (7) Dd2 (2) and (2mth). I love DH, but there have been many times I could have walked. Parenting is hard work (seems to bring out the worst in the both of us at different times)... I would like to high five him in the face some days. But we get through, I guess we really are legends!
Dp and i have been together 12 years. Got on so well prior to becoming parents 4 yrs ago. I can totally relate to this article. 100%.
High five people!
I so remember when DD was a baby and DH and I were soooooo sleep deprived from the devil baby that didn't sleep, I had PND etc... and he looked at me and said "Fu(k knows why anyone would think one of these brings a couple closer together"
We'd been together 8 years and married for two before she came along so I dunno if that theory holds but the devil baby is a lovely nearly ten year old now and we've had two more plus gone through more ups and downs than I can count and we still adore each other but yeah - hard work sometimes!
I can see how children can put a strain on relationships. No matter how strong it is. Dynamics change when a baby is born.
I don't know what people mean by "try before you buy" as my husband and I were together 6 months when we moved in and just under a year when we bought a house. But we were both late 20's and been around the dating game a while and knew we were the one for each other. I guess being older, we were wiser and knew what we were looking for in a partner and we were both ready for commitment. I had travelled, lived overseas for 4 years and been in my career for 10 years when we met. My husband had been living in Australia for 6 years with permanent residency and had a good job and savings.
If we waited 10-15 years to have kids then we might have had fertility problems and we would've been close to 40 or over 40 before having kids. No thanks.
Also... my "try before you buy" is making sure my husband was good in bed. Who wants to spend the rest of their life with a dud
Exhaustion, financial pressure, too tired for sex vs always wants sex, sick children, hospital visits, uneven work loads, resentment etc. the list goes on. I know for us the fact we don't sleep and haven't slept through the night in 3 years while working makes us both grumpy and resentful at times. We are both committed, strong people who were raised to not give up (plus we love each other). I can see how people who may be mental illness or other stresses to deal with on top of the ordinary would be pushed over the edge. I know we've been standing on the edge a time or two...it would have been easier to jump sometimes.
Pregnant for the first-time?
Not sure where to start? We can help!
Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!