I'm exhausted ladies. This is just too much. After terminating a pregnancy at 22 weeks in March for foetal anomaly I'm yet to get a proper cycle. I had a d&c post birth during which I had to hand over my son while he was still dying. I then had another d&c 8 weeks later for more retained products. I then bled for almost 3 weeks. 32 days out from the last d&c and I still haven't had a period. With 3 d&cs in 10 months (I had a mc before my son) I'm terrified of ashermans syndrome and becoming infertile.
I can't stop crying. I just want my cycle back so I can stop thinking about it and grieve for my son. I'm seeing a psych but what's the point? The physical stuff still hasn't resolved and I need to be on guard for when the next thing goes wrong. I can't go around trying to feel better with that hanging over my head.
I literally don't want to wake up in the mornings right now. I'm sick of seeing everyone else with their perfect freaking lives. They say everyone has problems but I can almost guarantee that no one else at work/park/cafe has buried their son after making the choice we did. And anyone who did doesn't seem to have this relentless physical cr.ap that doesn't resolve. I can't take this anymore