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  1. #21
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    Subbing to reply latet

  2. #22
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    Default Should I tell him to leave??

    I am confused about the dirty chat he had with the other women?

    I'm going to go against the grain here and say it's ok that he hasn't grown into parenthood yet. Heck - women on BH express their feelings on this topic all the time - depression can affect both Men and Women. And it's ok you two have grown apart. Neither is necessarily your fault or your hubby's.

    It does mean that your hubby may need help. Your marriage needs help. At this point Dr Phil would probably say until you have been to counsellIng you haven't earned the right to walk away from your marriage. Worst case scenario - if you break up anyway counsellIng may help you both obtain clarification and resolution - which surely has to be good for a co-parenting relationship.

    Best of luck

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  4. #23
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    I agree with VP, I think you should try counselling first, before simply telling him to leave. Then you can say you gave it everything you had.

  5. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    I am confused about the dirty chat he had with the other women?

    I'm going to go against the grain here and say it's ok that he hasn't grown into parenthood yet. Heck - women on BH express their feelings on this topic all the time - depression can affect both Men and Women. And it's ok you two have grown apart. Neither is necessarily your fault or your hubby's.

    It does mean that your hubby may need help. Your marriage needs help. At this point Dr Phil would probably say until you have been to counsellIng you haven't earned the right to walk away from your marriage. Worst case scenario - if you break up anyway counsellIng may help you both obtain clarification and resolution - which surely has to be good for a co-parenting relationship.

    Best of luck
    I understand what you are saying.. But her child is 4. He doesn't want to be around him, that is alarming to me. The little boy deserves more and so does the OP. If he were a little one, still a baby, maybe I would feel differently. He has had 4 yrs of parenting to adjust and he still doesn't appear to even be interested in trying.

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  7. #25
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    What man does not want to spend time with their own child? He can be mean to you his wife (to a degree) but to an innocent child begging for his attention?!?!
    I'm sorry but that alone would be enough to make me leave him!
    Do you have support if he ups and leaves mortgage etc in your name?

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  9. #26
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    Quote Originally Posted by Barnaby View Post
    I understand what you are saying.. But her child is 4. He doesn't want to be around him, that is alarming to me. The little boy deserves more and so does the OP. If he were a little one, still a baby, maybe I would feel differently. He has had 4 yrs of parenting to adjust and he still doesn't appear to even be interested in trying.
    Plenty of mums on BH who are having a tough time and their kids are 4+

    It is not always a simple case of saying "they've already had enough time to get used to it"

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  11. #27
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    Quote Originally Posted by babybloom View Post
    he has an online fling with a co worker a while back and then sent some dirty msg to another one when our DS was 6 months old. hubby said he is tired of having to prove himself.
    ...
    This additional information concerns me - do you think he's interested in another woman? This could be something like a crush he wants to pursue further, or worse - he may already have started a new relationship.

    He seems to be clutching at straws to make up excuses why your marriage is 'on the rocks'. I mean, pasta sauce? C'mon.

    Just a possible theory.

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  13. #28
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    Plenty of mums on BH who are having a tough time and their kids are 4+

    It is not always a simple case of saying "they've already had enough time to get used to it"
    That's true, and if it was just a phase I would agree. It doesn't seem like he has ever had much of a bond with his son, though I could be mistaken. Again, this is understandable for some people but I would say most would acknowledge this is a problem and work on it. Not say 'I need more sex, the food I like, time to drink and smoke, and a clean house' - that's just garbage.

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  15. #29
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    Yeah it's the " I will stay if you give me more sex and do all the house work" that bothers me.

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    I would suggest counseling and see how he reacts. If he's not willing to go to counseling with you then you'll know that at least you gave it your best.

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