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  1. #1
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    Default Friend keeping you a secret

    I will try to keep it short and sweet but what would you do if you had a huge falling out with your brothers wife and your brother. We share mutual friends and now it has come out that your brothers wife has called everyone and asked them not to talk to you anymore (like a imiture high school girl).

    Only 2 friends continued contact but now 1 has been told to choose either her or myself so this friend asked me to keep our friendship a secret.....

    I'm currently highly offended and upset to be kept a secret or am I over reacting? What would you do?

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    I would say I'm not good with secrets. I would say I'm not asking anyone to choose and they're free to be friends with who they want to be friends with. Say you don't speak to *insert cows name* so you won't be mentioning it to her, but if anyone asks you outright you will not lie.

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  4. #3
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    That's what I said to them and they said oh and don't post anything on facebook please when we see each other.

    Just so hurtful because picking sides didn't even spring to my mind. Guess we are back in high school.

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    This must be a very hurtful and sad time for you OP.

    In your situation I would say that no friend would keep a friendship a secret and say that you have no problem continuing the friendship, but you will not hide it from SIL.

    Sounds like an immature mess and you're better off without SIL in your life...

    Your friends need to explore their maturity and autonomy and tell SIL that she will not ever dictate their circle of friends.

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  7. #5
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    I would be really upset too OP

    Then I would question how much of a 'friend' the person who is asking you to keep this secret.

    That's lame. They do sound immature.

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  9. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wise Enough View Post
    I would say I'm not good with secrets. I would say I'm not asking anyone to choose and they're free to be friends with who they want to be friends with. Say you don't speak to *insert cows name* so you won't be mentioning it to her, but if anyone asks you outright you will not lie.
    Asking you to keep your friendship a secret means she's told "cow" that she's chosen to keep her friendship.
    Not cool. Especially since you're not the one asking her to choose in the first place.
    Agree with the above.

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    I'd be highly offended and probably not make an effort to maintain the friendship. It's pathetic that your SIL has actually asked people not to be in contact with you. What an awkward position to put people in.

    Very immature.

    If someone asked me to cut ties with a mutual friend, it would have to be over something very very serious.

    I hope you are ok.

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    Thank you everyone for your support. It's certainly a hard time but I'm strong and will be okay.

    Definitely not looking forward to a wedding in June when I will see them (my brother and his wife).

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    How awful! If they can't stick up for your friendship by saying that having to "choose" is wrong then they might not be a great friend xx

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  16. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by superbuns View Post

    Definitely not looking forward to a wedding in June when I will see them (my brother and his wife).
    This will be tough. My advice is to be fabulous and faultless.
    Be civil, be polite and behave completely above reproach. You will look like (and be!) the adult. She will look as immature as she is.

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