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  1. #1
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    Default First pregnancy and scared.

    All I have ever wanted to be is a mum and 3 weeks ago I found out I'm pregnant 8 weeks today to be exact and the circumstances atm are not the best. I'm not in a relationship with the father, I'm back at home living and currently unemployed. The father wants a termination as we aren't in a financial situation to raise a child atm and he is right but I don't know if that's what I want to do. I'm so torn!! I never thought I would be ever considering this but the circumstances that this has happened under are not what I thought would happen. I'm so scared either way. If I keep it I'm scared that I won't be able to give it the life it should have and I'm scared that if I terminate I will regret it.

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    Hi,
    Firstly, I'm really sorry you are in such a difficult situation.
    Remember that whatever decision you make is obviously permanent so do not let anyone convince you either way. You are certainly not the first nor will you be the last to be in one of these kinds of situations - take your time and I'm sure you will make the best choice.
    It might help to see a GP or something who could go through your options with you, i.e. what benefits you might qualify for or even what is involved in a termination if that's what you decide to do.

    It sounds so basic, but sometimes making a big list of pros and cons for every decision can help get your head around it.

    Best wishes.
    Last edited by CodieBloom; 21-05-2015 at 09:42.

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    Sorry to hear that you are feeling this way. Remember that you also have adoption as an option if you feel that you couldn't terminate.

    Take your time with your decision and don't allow the father to influence you. This is your body and you should do what you feel is right.

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    Yeah I considered adoption but I just don't think I could go through all of that and then hand over my baby. It's such a hard decision and everyone has said to take time and think about it and take my time but to be completely honest I'm so over thinking about it. I just wish I knew what I wanted either way. If I had a full time job there would be no question in my mind I would keep it but I just don't know.

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    Thank you both but

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    its such a scary thing - but the decision is yours. You are the one who will have to live with the baby, or the consequences ... so its completely up to you.

    Would the Father of the baby stay with you if you continued? How do your family feel? are they prepared to help you and the baby?


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    Quote Originally Posted by kateandbub View Post
    If I had a full time job there would be no question in my mind I would keep it but I just don't know.
    I think this sentence right here answers your question for you.... If you take out all of the 'other stuff' you're left with this -

    "there is no question in my mind I would keep it".

    I think you know what your heart wants.

    For the record I am 100% pro choice, so I'm not trying to sway you either way.

    Best of luck hun x

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    I've been in a very similar situation, and it was extremely difficult. I kept changing my mind between termination and keeping the baby, finally deciding on keeping the baby. One of the main factors in my decision was family support; my family were incredibly supportive and welcoming of the idea of bubs.

    Either way, it's a decision you will always have to live with. Best of luck with your choice. If you ever want to PM me, I'm happy to chat

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    Quote Originally Posted by Frankenmum View Post
    I think this sentence right here answers your question for you.... If you take out all of the 'other stuff' you're left with this -

    "there is no question in my mind I would keep it".

    I think you know what your heart wants.

    For the record I am 100% pro choice, so I'm not trying to sway you either way.

    Best of luck hun x
    Agree - I read this and thought your heart wants it. I'm pro choice too (not that it matters).

    If money is the major concern, perhaps work out what your entitlements will be before you decide.

    And also maybe try to picture what you're life will be like in 5 years, 10 years, 20 years with each choice you make, rather than focussing on the moment. It's natural to feel terrified.

    All the best to you.

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    I think talking to your gp or somebody independent you can trust to explore all your options objectively is a really good idea. there may be options for financial support that you don't know about that could help you if you decide to continue as well.
    Have a look at humanservices.gov.au for info about potential benefits too.

    All the best for your decision, I hope it works out for you xo


 

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