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  1. #1
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    Default Toddler woes - any advice?

    My 17 month old is driving me batty I hate to say it but I am really starting to dislike spending time with her. This has been getting progressively worse the last few weeks but very bad the past few days. A bit of background:

    We don't live near family
    we have just had a baby (3.5 months old)
    hubby is away a lot.

    She is sooooo active and I'm starting to wonder what is normal. I cannot leave anything unlocked for more than a second or she is straight in there, she climbs, she pulls, I live my life from the top shelf. Yesterday she learnt to open all the doors in our house and she went into the study (before I knew she could open the doors) and had turned the iron on which was facing some socks I went looking for her, smelt it (thankfully) and turned it off. This stuff is getting dangerous.

    She is very intelligent (well I think so) ?
    She will sit on the potty for wees and poos (but won't let me take her nappy off)
    She says 4 word sentences.
    She sings songs
    She says most animal sounds
    She knows almost every body part
    She has impeccable hearing
    Can undress herself and put her shoes and socks on (with help)
    She reads books (turns pages, turns them the right way up and says what things are in them)
    She will tell me yes or no to things she does or doesn't want
    She will tell dad off if he goes outside without his hat on
    She matches colours

    This is hubby's 4th trip away this year when he is away she doesn't eat (much), she is really nasty to her sister, she is draining, demanding, she doesn't sleep. In fact she used to sleep 12 hours at night and maybe an hour day sleep but just won't go down the past few days. She can be quite nasty she will pinch me and stare at me saying "ow" she will stare at me while she smacks her sister over the head.

    I am OVER IT. I have organised to see a counsellor as i just don't know how to support her with Dad away. I restrict my outings, I feel like I'm going to explode, I know I am displaying symptoms of anxiety and am seriously debating putting her in childcare one day a week. I have no motivation to go back to work (even though I would like to) and really want to get on top of this all but don't know how!?!

    Do you think maybe she isn't stimulated enough? Haha she just brought a toy giraffe to me and said tall tall pointing to his neck. Ahhhhhhh please help!
    Last edited by Soon2be4; 20-05-2015 at 11:00.

  2. #2
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    I should have added: is this normal for this age?
    She is also very sociable she will try and sit on people's lap (ie if we are waiting in doctors surgery) or walk up to people and cheekily grin until they respond. I'm not sure if these are odd thing or not?

  3. #3
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    Default Toddler woes - any advice?

    I think you have a very clever girl on your hands and yes, she will probably be a nightmare at times. I think it's okay sometimes to feel like you want to escape them as well. I think the behaviours she is displaying are very normal depending on the child. My friends son is 2.5 yrs and he is just like this (only his speech is not as developed), 10minutes into an activity; he's bored.
    It sounds like your daughter is constantly seeking attention and stimulation. She's obviously upset when hubby leaves so she acts out.
    Is putting her into childcare not something you want to do? It may help for her to make some new friends and it could help you to discover what sort of activities the centre finds to keep her stimulated.
    It may also be worth googling "sensory activities" as they will probably keep her stimulated for longer.
    Edit: I don't think these behaviours are odd, I've seen it in many children I've cared for over the years. She's just cheeky.
    Edit: I also think taking some mummy time would be helpful. Sometimes a clear head will allow you to have more patience when you return and will open up some new ideas.
    Last edited by GemimaPuddleduck; 20-05-2015 at 11:39.

  4. #4
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    Thanks for the reply. She actually doesn't get bored with activities that she enjoys however these things aren't toys (eg a bottle with a lid that she will sit and play with for ages making it dance, taking lid on and off and talking to it) in fact she is actually very good at occupying herself just not with things that she probably should play with.

    I have called 2 childcare centres and put her on the list I guess it would just be hard to find the money is all not that I'm worried about her going. And yes I have started to go out for a few hours every Saturday morning (when hubby is home) which is VERY nice lol.

  5. #5
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    Your daughter is quite advanced, I do know of quite a few little girls who were at the same stage at that age, mine being one of them. My youngest at the moment, my little boy, is 24 months and not even close to doing any of this stuff, but my daughter, she was well and truly ahead in every way.
    Her behaviour is completely normal for a child that is advanced in that way. My daughter was exactly the same. Really, the only way to deal with it is to embrace it! They will climb everything, they will get into everything. While you need to be careful with her overly social tendancies, remember it is a really REALLY good thing. Children with amazing social skills have the easiest time when they need to start school etc.
    I remember when my daughter was this age, despite the fact she played so well on her own, I HAD to watch her 24/7. My eyes were glued to her 24 hours a day 7 days a week, because the moment I took my eyes off her she was into something she should be. I guess it can be a little frustrating, but again, that explorative nature and willingness to discover and try new things is a fantastic quality that's going to really help her out in the future.
    Embrace it! She's an amazing little girl and she's going to do great things

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    AdornedWithCats  (20-05-2015)

  7. #6
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    Did you discipline her in a specific way? The strategies I have tried don't seem to work well. It's very draining I agree just when I think she is occupied she will get into something I've left unattended.

    Do you think she is too young to have these anxiety issues? Ie not eating/sleeping when dad is away?

    Thanks I mostly think she is pretty spectacular just not when I'm overtired and having me a sook!

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    CazHazKidz  (20-05-2015)

  9. #7
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    I have to be honest, I think a lot of people might poo poo my discipline techniques, because I don't really have any. I don't hit, or use time outs, or send to bedroom. Becuase she was so very clever, I found even at that age she could understand when I would sit her down and talk to her like an adult. I would explain why what she was doing was a bad idea, and give her alternatives. Like, "Mikayla, climbing the couch like that is really dangerous honey, you could fall and hurt yourself and that would make mummy really sad. Maybe we could go outside and play on the swings or trampoline instead?" That sort of thing. Rather than just constant "GET DOWN" "GET DOWN NOW OR YOU"LL HAVE TO GO TO THE NAUGHTY CORNER" sort of thing. That sort of discipline would have never ever worked for her. In fact it still doesn't.

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    I can't really help with the anxiety because we've never had any of that, but I think again if it were one of my kids feeling anxious I would try to explain to them exactly why daddy was away, what he was doing, when he would be back. Start a count down on a calendar, give a little reward for every day that daddy was away that she didn't fall in a heap. THat sort of thing. This is where her level of understanding could actually be really helpful. My 24 month old son, there's no way I could talk to him like that and he'd understand, so I'd have to come up with other techniques.

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    AdornedWithCats  (20-05-2015),GemimaPuddleduck  (20-05-2015),Soon2be4  (20-05-2015)

  13. #9
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    Okay great those are the things I do with her it's just often hard to distract as I'm busy with Bub. I'll stick to them. Agree completely time out does not work, nor does holding method, isolating etc and I would never use physical discipline methods. I am a talk about your feelings kinda person.

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    CazHazKidz  (20-05-2015)

  15. #10
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    Also I was back at work 3 days per week from when she was 10 months old, and she did/does get amazing stimulation from her 3 days at daycare/kindy which has also been very helpful


 

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