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  1. #1
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    Default Thinking of going for twins - how did you decide?

    Hi ladies, we start our third rnd of IVF in August and I am completely torn on what to do! I will be 34 and we have a 2yr old. I've already had one emergency c section due to not dilating and have a feeling my other pregnancies will head that way too, limiting the amount of children we can have. We think 3 kids would be nice and Max 4. I've crunched numbers and we can afford to have twins and hopefully work will let me drop my hours from 40 to at least 32.5hrs a wk. I will however miss out on a stupid pay bonus by cutting my hours and may limit my chances of future promotion. Are we better off just going for one and then considering twins later which are more risky the older I get? I think my body will only do 3 pregnancies max. So many unknowns - how did you decide?!?!

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    Do you mean transfer two embryos? Have you spoken to your fs about it? One thing to keep in mind is that embryos can split, so two could become 3 or 4!
    Last edited by Tinkers; 18-05-2015 at 12:28.

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    I've been in similar position. We just did ivf to get pregnant and only had 1 embryo to transfer so that made our decision for us, otherwise we most likely would have transferred two. Now that I am pregnant, I am so glad it is one. I've had ridiculous morning sickness and two would have likely made it worse so that's one consideration - how dis your ms go with first pregnancy? If you were ok then I'd be tempted to go for twins. There is no guarantee they will both implant so to me it's a way to increase the odds of getting one. The only thing that made me question it was the risks. Our FS said risk of cerebral palsy increases from 1 in 500 to 1 in 100 per twin. I personally would take this risk but it's a personal decision. I'd also consider how your body coped physically with one - do you think it would go ok with two. I had faith in my body (apart from ms) so I was ok with that too. Is this your first round of ivf? What did fs say about transferring two? Some are pro and some are a bit anti. Mine is anti. All the best to you!

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    Transferring 2 embies doesn't guarantee 2 bubs, you could have 0 or even 4 like that poor lady in the US who ended up with quads.

    While transferring multiple embryos was very common in the past, recently the focus in IVF has shifted to a healthy singleton birth. You may have trouble convincing your FS to transfer 2.

    Also, IVF twins are slightly higher risk that naturally conceived twins. I don't think they (medical community) know why, but they just seem to be. I'll try to find the research. And only slightly, so don't kill me if you have IVF twins.

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    Most clinics won't even transfer 2 embryos unless you are over 40 or have really low quality eggs.

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    Hi there,

    I'm not an IVFer, but I am a twin-mama. I think you need to consider a few other factors when making your decision other than the financial side of things.

    Firstly, twin pregnancies are considered high risk. I had a comparably easy twin pregnancy being it was my first pregnancy and I was 24, however I was monitored very closely and had to report to my Ob every 2 weeks, and every few days by the end. Combine that with being an IVF pregnancy and they will want to know every time you sneeze, cough and brush your hair
    It definitely takes a toll on your body, much more so than a single pregnancy. Your skin stretches so fast and becomes incredibly itchy. There are high risk problems like TTS to consider also.

    Multiple children are more likely to be born premature and spend time in the NICU. You already have a child to consider- how would you feel about splitting your time between home and hospital, and always feeling in the back of your mind the guilt that you are not spending enough time with the twins when you are home, or not enough time with your preschooler if you are at the hospital? Mummy guilt sucks!

    Having two newborns is super hard. How do you deal with them both when they are crying. How do you deal with all 3 when the preschooler joins in because Mummy can't cuddle them as much any more? How will you cope with double the wakings through the night? My twins were nearly 2 before they slept through the first time; prior to that I was up anywhere from 6 (an excellent night) to 20 times a night- 12 being around standard. Average that out and it's at least once an hour. I was wrecked and I didn't have older children to care for. Of course, many twin parents get their babies sleeping through from an early age too- but you can't always rely on it and have to plan for the worst case scenario, you know?
    Trying to do everything for two babies; putting two to sleep at the same time. Feeding two- whether it be breast or bottle it all comes with their own unique issues. How do you feed two screaming babies in the middle of the night?

    These are only the things off the top of my head- there is just so much to consider.

    If you know someone who has twins, maybe try and catch up with them and ask them to answer honestly about how they find twin parenting. In so many ways it's similar to having one baby, but in soooo many ways it has it's own challenges.

    Best wishes with your decision, and I hope my post hasn't put you off- merely given you a few ideas to consider

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    Quote Originally Posted by Mod-Nomsie View Post

    Firstly, twin pregnancies are considered high risk.
    Yes this, I think it is very easy to forget the complications that can come with twin pregnancies, in my twin support group, there are a few twins with life long complications from prem birth.

    60% of all twin births are premature at under 35 weeks.

    I went into labour at 35 weeks I had 5 days in hospital (away from my toddler - was very difficult) on medication to stop Labor, which only stop the dilation not the contractions and meds to strengthen the babies lungs. I had Labour contractions for 9 days (24 hours a day 3 minutes apart), was sent home after 5 days and bed rest at home for the last 4 days. We had a strong possibility that one baby would be transferred to a hospy 40 minutes away, because there weren't enough beds in special care nursery (Luckily they didn't need them in the end due to the meds for their lungs). And I had to have a c/section and got an infection afterwards. I was considered one of the lucky ones, my twins made it to 36+2 in the end which is brilliant.

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    Most clinics will be conservative and try to prevent multiples, not purposefully aim for them. They won't want to intentionally introduce unnecessary risk. If twins (or triplets or more!) happen by chance, then so be it. Personally I would be terrified of having twins, especially given I already have children. My second is an IVF baby and I am very relieved he was a singleton! Juggling a newborn with a toddler/preschooler isn't easy, I can't imagine how I'd cope with 2 newborns!

    If you want more children, maybe look to have 2 more with a relatively small gap. That way you can give your body and your babies the best chance at a healthy pregnancy & delivery.

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    All the realistic stuff aside, my DP and I would love twins or triplets! They would be really cute and would mean less pregnancies and less fertility treatments.... BUT I know the realistic side is risky, emotional, costly, etc etc.

    Like the others said. Talk to your dr and get their opinion. Most won't consider double transfer unless you are over 40, have had multiple failed cycles or have low egg count. So the decision may be taken from you.

    Good luck ttc however you go about it

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    Thanks ladies, sorry I should have mentioned I knew about this risks and that our first rnd of ivf our specialist asked if we wanted to put back 2 embryos due to my low amh levels. This was in Brisbane but we opted for 1 after weeks deciding. I also know with CS it's only recommended to have 3 pregnancies usually. I will have a new specialist as we have moved back to NZ now so maybe 2 embryos may not even be allowed here so it will be interesting to see what happens.
    I always prepare for the worst and I imagine twins would be by no means an easy ride and I've heard mixed reports so far. I have 1 more friend to ask but I know she will be all for it as she has 1yr old twins and is already midway thru another pregnancy!!
    Great to hear from those in the know - please keep it coming!

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