Whilst I am only new here, I felt that this didn't quite belong in the intro section!
33+6 pg with a baby boy on the way.
I am having a raft of issues in my life which is probably nothing compared to what some people are going through, but I really need a good vent tonight!
Pregnancy has so far been ok, all scans normal etc. Any advice or support or just a you bastrd would be fine 😉
My issue is that I have severe depression and anxiety, a fiance (of 8 years) who is just never around - He works from 8 until 6 and not home until 7pm. Is constantly out drinking every Friday with his work buddies whilst I sit at home all day playing cook, cleaner and taxi service. He struggles with pain due to a failed back surgery at 23. He takes some fairly serious opiod medication for this. A week or so ago (on my birthday which he forgot!) I found him snorting these pills. Naturally I went off my tree but forgave him. Today, I find needles. (Unused and he swears he didnt ever which I do believe) but surely you would expect him home to at least give me some form of apology/comfort. But no... out again drinking with him expecting me to pick him up. We have had our ups and downs throughout this entire relationship, mostly due to my depression/inability to talk on an emotional level. But today, I am at my wits end. I have no family support locally, no true friends and am just struggling daily as I had to leave my job due to the pregnancy. I have no savings as I have always paid the bills he holds the savings. I just dont know what to do. He doesn't ask how I am or attend appointments (our first child and we havnt gone to antenatal appointments) I have no idea how to be a mother! I have turned back into a smoker which I hate myself for but it is the only thing stopping me from doing something stupid due to the stress and anxiety.
I am also petrified of a natural birth and fighting the public hospital for a c section adding to my stress. I just really dont know what to do. And yes, I know how bad smoking whilst pregnant is and I hate myself every time I light up believe me!
Sorry for the essay, but I dont have anywhere else to turn for a vent or chat with anyone.