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  1. #1
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    Default ..am I just being selfish?!..

    Hi everyone..
    So it's hard to explain but, my mum and I were pregnant at the same time our boys are 4 months apart. I love my little brother dearly, he was born with spina bifida, but that dosnt hold him back. I'm super proud of him!
    My mum even though my son is her only grand child, seems to never be interested in my boy. I'll tell her things he's done (say mum, got his first teeth etc) and she straight away will say 'we'll my son did this' it makes me feel bad for my boy.
    Today she rang me and told me she was pregnant again..
    While I'm happy she's happy, I'm worried that it's going to push my son further from her mind and I don't know how to talk to her about it since she can be quite the bomb if you get on her bad side.. Am I just being selfish or stupid ?

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    Hey OP,

    I don't think you're being selfish. Everyone wants their parents to adore their children! That's human nature.

    I think that maybe your mum is just a little narcissistic and jealous - and not very good at hiding it.

    Sometimes it's hard seeing other people happy. Maybe she sees your son as direct competition for your brother (I know this isn't the case) and if she praises your son she may think she's letting him 'win'.

    I can imagine it's very tough on you. Unfortunately I'm not too sure about what can be done to change your mums behavior.

    Your mum is the one putting things in between her bonding with your son. Nothing can get between a grandma's bond with her grandchildren apart from her letting it.

    I hope she soon realises that all children and wonderful and it is not a competition - everyone deserves to be celebrated.

  3. #3
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    BH-KatiesMum is online now Community Manager
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    that is hard. no advice - just

  4. #4
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    No your not being selfish or stupid.
    I have no advice but I want to send you some hugs.

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    My first thought is that the spina bifida diagnosis has got her harder than you may realise and that is made worse by both kids being pretty close in age. Your brother is most likely going to have a tougher life than your son and each milestone your DS reaches there is a risk your brother may not always reach the same ones. So each time you get excited for your son doing something she may feel a pang of hurt that there may come a time when the milestone playing field isn't so even. If that makes any sense.

    And of course it's not being selfish to want your son to get some attention. It must be really tough for you. (That sounds condescending rereading it but it's not meant to be)
    Last edited by DesperatelySeekingSleep; 15-05-2015 at 15:52.

  6. The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to DesperatelySeekingSleep For This Useful Post:

    BH-KatiesMum  (15-05-2015),preggasaurus  (15-05-2015),rosengold111  (25-05-2015),VicPark  (15-05-2015)

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    Sorry for the late reply girls, thank you all i didn't even think about the SB being an issue because he's doing so we'll, maybe it has hit her harder the originally thought I'm not too sure.
    I just hope my little boy and his mima have a great relationship

  8. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Luanajo For This Useful Post:

    BH-KatiesMum  (15-05-2015),DesperatelySeekingSleep  (17-05-2015)


 

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