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  1. #31
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    I'm 32 and we have decided enough is enough. I just wrote this on my bubhub diary. Sometimes I feel it helps to write it down and get it all out.

    Every time I think about wanting a baby I must remember it's been 6 hard years of numerous tests and disappointments, two chemical pregnancies, 3 full IVF cycles, 4 IVF transfers (one PGD tested) and one IUI and we still don't know whether it's my eggs or immune issues or both....

    I have tried everything from naturopaths to Chinese herbs and acupuncture, gluten and dairy free diets and detox cleanses.

    I have spent thousands and thousands of dollars and put my faith in doctors who failed to mention issues and took our money for treatment anyway.

    I don't want to pump my body full of more drugs that make me gain weight, make me feel awful and borderline depressed and affect my health.

    I need to embrace not having kids and enjoy lazy Sundays, holidays and doing what I want when I want and being able to have a body that is my own and not scarred from childbearing. I want to enjoy my life and get off this mouse wheel that is trying for a baby with infertility.

  2. #32
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    @nattie84 such a difficult and brave decision to stop trying. Sorry you have had such a difficult time and it is obvious from your post that you have put so much into making this happen. I really related to your post and it could almost have been written by me. We've been ttc for 5 1/2 years, 12 IVF cycles (5 stim cycles and some FET's), last 2 transfers were PGD embryos, 2 chemical pregnancies. I have endometriosis and immune issues but immunotherapy hasn't worked for us so who knows? I've spent thousands on acupuncture and went gluten free for 6 months. I'm on my third doctor after a poor experience my last doctor. I totally feel like I am on a hamster wheel and don't know how long I can keep doing this. Our 12th cycle is all over after getting the call today that our embryos stopped developing and never made it to blastocyst. My heart is sore and my soul is weary. Not meaning to hijack your post but I just wanted you to know that you are not alone. I really am so sorry for what you are going through. I am not brace enough yet to accept childlessness but I know that I can't keep going on like this either xo

  3. #33
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    Quote Originally Posted by ShannyAnny View Post
    @nattie84 such a difficult and brave decision to stop trying. Sorry you have had such a difficult time and it is obvious from your post that you have put so much into making this happen. I really related to your post and it could almost have been written by me. We've been ttc for 5 1/2 years, 12 IVF cycles (5 stim cycles and some FET's), last 2 transfers were PGD embryos, 2 chemical pregnancies. I have endometriosis and immune issues but immunotherapy hasn't worked for us so who knows? I've spent thousands on acupuncture and went gluten free for 6 months. I'm on my third doctor after a poor experience my last doctor. I totally feel like I am on a hamster wheel and don't know how long I can keep doing this. Our 12th cycle is all over after getting the call today that our embryos stopped developing and never made it to blastocyst. My heart is sore and my soul is weary. Not meaning to hijack your post but I just wanted you to know that you are not alone. I really am so sorry for what you are going through. I am not brace enough yet to accept childlessness but I know that I can't keep going on like this either xo
    Wow you are very strong. 12 stim cycles wow!

    I also have endo and are lucky to get 1-2 good embryos from a cycle it's just so hard

  4. #34
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    nattie84 - so brave of you, I can only envy your courage.

    Ladies, all of you, in this thread - thank you so much for sharing. It was on of the most difficult things, that I encountered in my journey - as more and more years passed I was feeling more and more lonely. I have friends who got pregnant after 2-3 years with as bad sperm as ours, I have friends who had IVF babies from first time or even numerous but succeeded after all, I have friends who never had children, because never wanted. And I don't have anyone around like myself, just to share and get a bit of comfort.... It feels like everyone gets what they wish after all... That something wrong with us? lack of trying? With all medical and alternative, natural therapies that we went through, including psychotherapy... I don't know... it's so hard to let it go.
    But it seems I'm getting there bit by bit. You know, even subconsciously over all these years I was planning my life with a thought that I get pregnant one day. Now I stopped. I have plans, like holidays, career for the next few years, that do not include this chance of unexpected pregnancy. Almost....

    Hope is the most wonderful thing in life, but the most taunting too.

    All the best to everyone.

  5. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Viola For This Useful Post:

    nattie84  (31-10-2016),Phia  (31-10-2016),ShannyAnny  (31-10-2016)

  6. #35
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    Quote Originally Posted by nattie84 View Post
    Wow you are very strong. 12 stim cycles wow!

    I also have endo and are lucky to get 1-2 good embryos from a cycle it's just so hard
    Not 12 stim @nattie84, well not yet anyway. I've had six stim but one was cancelled and a bunch of FET's. So you have endo too. Did I read in another thread that you are a CA? The reason I ask is because so am I! If so then this is too many similarities - this is freaking me out!

  7. #36
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    Quote Originally Posted by ShannyAnny View Post
    Not 12 stim @nattie84, well not yet anyway. I've had six stim but one was cancelled and a bunch of FET's. So you have endo too. Did I read in another thread that you are a CA? The reason I ask is because so am I! If so then this is too many similarities - this is freaking me out!
    Yes I am a CA too lol.. where are you located? I'm in Sydney.

  8. #37
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    I'm in Melbourne @nattie84


 

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