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  1. #1
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    Default Rude remarks after announcement

    So my partner and I just announced to the rest of the world yesterday that we are expecting twins! We had told family and friends in person and broke the news to everyone else on Facebook.
    I'm really getting quite frustrated with how negative some people are with our news. I've had several people comment that I'm 'quite young' (I'll be 26 by the time the babies are born), people asking if they were planned and a work colleague even claimed that she could not find anything positive to say to me.
    Have you had reactions like this? How did you respond?

  2. #2
    TheGooch's Avatar
    TheGooch is offline Winner 2014 - Newbie of the Year
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    Congratulations!!! How exciting for you both! And twins!!!

    Try to avoid retaliatory rudeness. It lowers you to their level.

    Try these responses

    Cold stare and walk away

    "Oh you're negative aren't you!" Followed by bright smile and walk away.

    And to the nasty person who said they had nothing nice to say "lucky my happiness doesn't require your approval" and walk away

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    Congratulations . What an exciting time🎉🎈.

    All responses in above post are perfect .

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    Curby  (12-05-2015)

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    SuperGranny is offline Worlds best grandma! Winner 2012 - Most Helpful Member
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    congratulations, I was 24 when I had my twins. wonderful news for you both. !! I hope you have the best of times. don't worry about the negative responses , especially on facebook, fb people don't matter to anyone. you will be hit with so many pieces of advice and wonderful suggestions, that you will be able to pick and choose what you give any attention to. practice saying, 'yes oh thank you'. and then toss the advice in the bin. hugs, marie.

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    Congrats how exciting.

    How is 26 young?!?! Good on you for getting going I think 26 is an optimal age.

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    Congratulation! Double the trouble, double the love! How lucky!

    I'm shocked that 26 is considered young! I'm 28 and have 2 kids already! I feel "old" at 28 lol.

    I agree with PP about some responses! Man people are rude!!

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    Congratulations on your twins Sorry you are dealing with negativity. It would be nice if people could just be pleasant, even if they don't care for kids themselves. And definitely keep any negative comments to themselves.
    I have had a couple of similar experiences, one was when I let people at work know (I'm 29 weeks now) and a male colleague asked if it was planned (I am 33, married for 3.5 years and actually had 2 years and 7 rounds of fertility treatment to get pregnant. Planned just a little lol). It took me by surprise and I pretty much stammered um ah well yes. But totally wanted to say none of your business! That's not really negative though, I think it's more not connecting the brain cells to the mouth about what's appropriate to say.
    I have had some negative stuff - like another work colleague (seriously can they just butt out!) telling me TWICE that I would be jealous because my baby girl will be a daddy's little girl and how hard that will be for me because they will be closer than I will be to her. WTF?! I will be absolutely delighted if they have a close relationship, not jealous. Think that is a reflection of her issues though.
    Hardest part is my best friend hates kids and so is incredibly negative about EVERYTHING. To the point I am almost ready to snap about it. Never misses an opportunity to throw in a comment about how she went to a friend's house and their kids made her want to go home straight away because they were so noisy, went to a restaurant and there was a screaming baby there, how could anyone want kids, how she would never ever ever want to have children under any circumstances because they're awful etc. And if I ever say anything if I'm having a tough time 'well you should have thought of that before' or if I complain about work 'you're about to have a 12 month holiday (oh really a newborn is a holiday is it?!) so stop complaining'. Not once ever asked me how I am or expressed any happiness for me or any interest in the fact I am growing a little baby. Again this says more about her issues. And in writing this makes me realise how crappy she's been seriously at this point if she can't get over her issues and just be pleasant (I don't expect excitement just be nice not mean) about my impending parenthood then she can pi$s off pretty much.
    Anyway enough about me - ignore the negative people. I tend to just minimise contact otherwise I know I'll blow my stack lol. I think when people are negative about things like this it's either they are not thinking about what they're saying (so basically they're dense) or they have issues going on. In which case they'd be better off not saying anything at all. You may want to call out the next person who does it and see what happens but don't let them affect your happiness. Two little babies you lucky thing wishing you a smooth and happy pregnancy.

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    CONGRATS!!!!!!
    Honestly, some people just don't get it. I am pregnant with my 4th, and although baby was a surprise, is very very much wanted. I am expecting plenty of negative reactions when I "tell the world". I have filled in a few of my good friends already, because I knew they'd be positive and know how happy I was and that's all I wanted in my life at this point is positivity. There is absolutely nothing negative about my new baby whatsoever, and there is absolutely NOTHING even remotely negative about your twins!!! It is fantastic news!!!
    My Reaction to anyone who reacts badly to the news of my new little belly friend will be to smile and inform them that there is absolutely not one single negative thing about me having a 4th child, NOT ONE! And we are very happy, extremely excited and very very blessed. I suggest that you do the same to anyone who tries to shove their negative thoughts about twins onto you. Shove happiness back at them There is nothing better than babies, and you get two at once! What could be better than that!!

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  12. #9
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    AdornedWithCats is offline Winner 2013 - Spirit of BubHub Award
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    I'm 26 this year and get told all the time I'm too young to have a child (ds is barely a toddler)!

    Congratulations! My mil was not at all positive when we told her I was pregnant with ds. Silly lady.

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    26? Gosh I was expecting you to say 18 or something. 26 is the perfect age!


 

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