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  1. #1
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    Default Ready to throw in the towel

    Where do i start. Im a mum to 2 girls ages 5yrs and 4yrs and am currently 15weeks pregnant.

    I have been suffering since january with severe anxiety/panic disorder.

    I live in melbourne and all my family/friends live in qld. I do not get along with my inlaws and dh and i have been fighting alot!

    I have been living in melbourne on and off (mostly on) for 8yrs now. The past week dh has been a complete psycho. He yells at me, calls me names, threatens me... I just cant cope anymore. I want to leave him and move back to qld with family but he has threatened to harm me if i do.

    I spent majority of mothers day curled up in a ball crying. I took myself and my daughters out for breaky and then came home and spent the day cleaning ect.

    Dh does nothing to help me. I have in recent months put on alot of weight to which dh makes known to myself and the world. I just dont know how to escape i dont want my daughters growing up around all this toxic hate!

  2. #2
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    Get someone from your family in qld to come down and help you leave. Pack any essential paperwork and some stuff for the kids. You need some healthy space around you.

  3. #3
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    Couldn't read and not reply.
    I am in the same boat but my dh ignores me and our 2 boys most of the time. When he does come in the house it's too eat or sleep and Ds1 always gets told off or yelled at for something.
    If you have family that you can stand to move in with then I say go. Let him make his threats by sms or on voice mail. Then go to the police. I am sure other hubbers can offer more information than that but I'm to angry at myself for staying to give you advice I can't follow.

  4. #4
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    I agree pack and be gone one day when he gets home. Have someone from qld help you. I'm so sorry you are going through this.

    Also call a DV hotline for advice. Xox

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    Hope your family can help you leave xx

  6. #6
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    I am cooking dinner at the moment but I will reply soon x

  7. #7
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    That's not ok to feel scared of leaving someone because they threaten your safety. I would suggest you plan quickly and leave when he is at work or away on a weekend. Expect the worst and safety plan. Keep all voice mails/texts. Take some money, possessions, a vehicle. Get in touch with a DV service prior to help you if you need to. They are awesome at safety planning.

    If you are driving to Queensland, I know o some safety houses that could help you along the way
    Last edited by BbBbBh; 11-05-2015 at 18:58.

  8. #8
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    I'm very sorry you and your children are having to go through this Luv, it's bloody awful and I'm glad you've got the courage to leave and have come here for help and advice.

    I agree with the other posters that the first step will be to call a DV/Crises Care hotline. They will talk you through what to do and how to do it safely and can often assist with getting you and your kids into some sort of emergency accommodation (where he can't find you) which really is the first stepping stone for all of you.

    From there, they'll have social workers etc that will assist with helping you apply to Centrelink for whichever payments you'll be entitled to as well as assisting you with organising a DV/Good Behaviour order via the police to be taken out against your husband if you feel you need it.

    Once these things are in place and you're all in a safe location, you can then think about coming back to QLD if that's what you want to do. I don't know if your family/friends know how bad things are for you with your DH and the domestic violence situation you're currently living in, if they don't, please tell them. Don't be ashamed to speak up and tell them the truth. You have nothing to be and feel ashamed of ok?? If they know, they may be able to offer some kind of immediate help to you also.

    You can also call the police directly for advice. They often have a liaison officer who deals with DV who can help you and the kids leave safely as well. He has threatened to physically harm you if you leave, so you need to tell the police that too allright?? They will come to the house and stand there and protect you and the kids so you can leave in case DH tries to do anything (if for whatever reason you need to leave when he's there).

    You can do this Luv. Try to remain calm and think about it step by step what you're going to do. Make sure your husband is out of the place when you call for guidance, same with his inlaws. Make sure you've got all your important paperwork (kids birth certificates, medicare cards etc) all together somewhere in a safe place you can just grab them and go when needed. Make up a bag of clothes for you all and hide them somewhere you can again, just grab them and go etc. If you can get your hands on a little bit of money or hide some with the paperwork, then do that too.

    Good luck and know that I'm thinking of you and your kids
    Last edited by BlondeinBrisvegas; 11-05-2015 at 20:32.

  9. The Following User Says Thank You to BlondeinBrisvegas For This Useful Post:

    Skyler  (11-05-2015)

  10. #9
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    I have barely any access to money at the moment. Does anyone happen to know of anywhere that may help with relocation costs?

  11. #10
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    I can't remember the exact name but women's health west I think (Ian in the west) can assist you with relocation, the only problem is it's usually shelters etc while you wait for houses on the department housing list, my sister is in a similar situation, however we have been able to put her up so her priority is less on the list than someone who genuinely has no where to go. How awful for you big hugs


 

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