+ Reply to Thread
Page 3 of 3 FirstFirst 123
Results 21 to 29 of 29
  1. #21
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Location
    Mackay
    Posts
    1,346
    Thanks
    620
    Thanked
    455
    Reviews
    5
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    With MY DH and HIS siblings/parents - I couldn't fathom being 'furious'. I'd just wonder why he'd not feel he could tell me. Him and his brother recently bought FIL a zero turn lawn mower and he called me when they were on the way home with it, so it was already purchased (about $5k each). I was not fazed at all, FIL does a LOT for us and it was the least we could do in return.

    However, if he'd gave away a large sum to a sibling to p!ssed it against the wall time and time again, yeah I'd start to get annoyed if he did it more than once.

    Side note - I lent my brother $300 recently to fix his car. He's paying me back but I didn't think to tell DH about it. I think that is different.

  2. The Following User Says Thank You to Bennos Mummy For This Useful Post:

    PlayNice  (11-05-2015)

  3. #22
    Join Date
    Nov 2014
    Posts
    572
    Thanks
    164
    Thanked
    582
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    That's a lot of money and a decision that needs to be made by both of you.
    You are pregnant for goodness sake!!! He should be smarter than that, especially since he was conned the first time!!

    I would be SEETHING if my SO did that. Not only that, but it sounds super sus. Sending money to a charity overseas? Something smells fishy.

    And him controlling what you are allowed to spend when it comes to things you need while he throws money around willy nilly? I'm sorry, but this guy is a massive douche bag and you deserve better.

  4. #23
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Location
    in a wormhole
    Posts
    2,769
    Thanks
    4,600
    Thanked
    2,802
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    If it was a few hundred dollars - I'd be mildly upset that he didn't talk to me about it plus I'd be worried because we really live month to month right now and that would ruin our budget.

    10 000 pounds?? I would be speechless and have no idea how I'd react other than that I'd be devastated. I think the real red flags to me are that his family encourages him to hide things from you and it speaks to a lack of respect for you from his family. And that he gets upset if you buy things that you need and criticises you for spending too much money. Utterly hypocritical and worries me that there are serious imbalances in your relationship.

    This is only a snapshot of your lives, of course, but it does seem that he is encouraged to do whatever he likes and hide it from you, whilst you need to 'tow the line'.

    Do you have family and friends who you can talk to?

  5. #24
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Posts
    22,839
    Thanks
    6,199
    Thanked
    16,883
    Reviews
    10
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 postsRuby Star - 15,000 postsDiamond Star - 20,000 posts
    Awards:
    Bubhub Blogger - Thanks100 Posts in a week
    Quote Originally Posted by ExcuseMyFrench View Post
    some families work well with some financial independency.
    I have savings that are mine only and so does DH.
    That only works when both have savings though. Otherwise it's financial abuse. If she had a nest egg and so did he, and they had an agreement that is how they wanted it to work, fair enough. But I don't read it that way, I read that they have communal funds. Maybe I'm reading too much into it?

  6. #25
    Join Date
    Mar 2015
    Posts
    330
    Thanks
    60
    Thanked
    214
    Reviews
    0
    Yes I would be angry. We don't have his and her money, we have 'our' money. So out of courtesy to each other, we always discuss large purchases. We don't always agree, but we are happy to compromise and we don't often say 'no' to each other. $2,000 is a lot of money to spend without discussing. I would feel disrespected that he essentially hid it from you. 'His' money or not.

  7. #26
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Posts
    3,240
    Thanks
    2,503
    Thanked
    1,245
    Reviews
    10
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    We have shared money and then our 'pocket money' which can be spent how ever we like. If he spent his own money it wouldn't bother me, if he used the joint then I would be fuming.

  8. #27
    Join Date
    Dec 2014
    Posts
    42
    Thanks
    8
    Thanked
    9
    Reviews
    0

    Default Dh giving money away without telling me.

    I'm not sure what to say, my head is spinning. I just feel he's hiding things from me lately. He's ignoring me, gives more love & attention to the dogs. He can't even hug me. I'm stressed & feel really lonely. He's under a lot of stress too. Recently had a failed surgery & going for surgery again tomorrow.
    Last edited by Babyisbored; 12-05-2015 at 07:10.

  9. #28
    SuperGranny's Avatar
    SuperGranny is offline Worlds best grandma! Winner 2012 - Most Helpful Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Location
    sunshine coast qld
    Posts
    6,140
    Thanks
    4,541
    Thanked
    2,719
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    im sorry , but it seems you have many things to be concerned about. I hope his surgery is going to be ok. You should be equal partners with every thing in your marriage. your parents or his parents shouldn't not be interfering, and keeping secrets about money or anything, is not a good way to be living your life. if he is paying more attention to his dogs, and ignoring you, that is a very bad sign of more problems. im sorry. marie.

  10. #29
    Join Date
    May 2015
    Posts
    112
    Thanks
    92
    Thanked
    29
    Reviews
    0
    Big hugs! I don't think he is being fair to you at all. If he had that much to give away, he could at least use some of it for things you need like maternity clothes.

    I'd be really upset is my partner lied to me.


 

Similar Threads

  1. I don't like what my new fitbit is telling me....
    By Zabella in forum General Parenting Tips, Advice & Chat
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 14-09-2014, 21:59
  2. Someone other than you telling your 7yo what periods are...
    By Clarabelle in forum General Parenting Tips, Advice & Chat
    Replies: 22
    Last Post: 11-06-2014, 11:09

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
free weekly newsletters | sign up now!
who are these people who write great posts? meet our hubbub authors!
Learn how you can contribute to the hubbub!

reviews
learn how you can become a reviewer!

competitions

forum - chatting now
christmas gift guidesee all Red Stocking
Tambo Teddies
Visit our online store and select your individually handmade natural sheepskin teddy bear. Our soft and loveable bears come in a range of styles and colours. Created in Outback Queensland each bear is unique individual. 100% Australian made!
sales & new stuffsee all
Bub Hub Sales Listing
HAVING A SALE? Let parents know about it with a Bub Hub Sales listing. Listings are featured on our well trafficked Sales Page + selected randomly to appear on EVERY page
featured supporter
Wendys Music School
Wendy’s Music School. Experience, Quality and great service! For qualifying students we will get you playing or singing your favourite music in 90 days GUARANTEED! Book a free assessment online now!
gotcha
X

Pregnant for the first-time?

Not sure where to start? We can help!

Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!