Thanks for the understanding ladies.💛
Gampa, we have a living 22 month old boy. We always said we only wanted two *living* children and financially I think that's more realistic to us in terms of the lifestyle we hope for. This is my 5th pregnancy and I really have no desire right now to be pregnant again, emotionally and physically is just so hard. I've been really unwell with vomiting most of my pregnancies and this time around has been particularly hard, I assume because I have a toddler to keep up with, so really no desire to be doing this again with two children to manage! I know things change but DH and I have already discussed him having a vasectomy and I have even said that if we lost this pregnancy I wouldn't want to try again. I'm just so drained.
Sally, I could change our care plan but it'd be SO much more expensive. We're going privately in the UK and although we have international insurance cover for maternity care we would still be out of pocket quite a bit because OB fees are insane here. For DS it wasn't too much of an issue because we didn't get here until 25 weeks so OB fees were reduced and we'd already done a lot of the costly stuff in Melbourne. Starting from day dot here with insurance having to cover everything and NHS not supplementing any cost makes it's a lot more. I chose the midwife-led package at the private maternity hospital because everything was included (ante-natal care, birth, scans--12,20&32 weeks, blood tests etc., a private OB overseas your care) and we wouldn't be out of pocket. DH said he was ok with me going private OB but I feel bad about how much my anxiety costs us so I was/am trying to go easy on him. I just feel like this care plan is really dropping the ball, that they are not thorough at all and it's freaking me out. We watched DS1's 16 week anatomy scan last night, I was worried I was imagining the difference in scans. The difference was laughable. A DVD covering every inch of DS1 with a dr explaining every single thing they were seeing, brain, kidneys, absolutely everything.
I think I'm going to call them when I've mellowed out and ask if they can include this 16 week scan as my 'second' scan in our fee (so what should have been our 20 week that was included) and I'll arrange my 20 week scan at my preferred diagnostic place. I've had two scans with them now and don't feel reassured at all so feel it's best for my anxiety for me to go elsewhere for this scan. I'll explain about the **** up of booking me for a growth scan to check my cervix when that wasn't the issue in my loss and how I would have declined this scan and booked elsewhere had I known they weren't doing an anatomy scan and we were paying for it.
As far the gender...😞. I'm hoping I'll mellow in a few days. Like Sally said this had triggered a huge feeling of feeling like I've lost our daughter all over again. It was her anniversary on Saturday so I'm sure that's not helping.