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  1. #131
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    Double post
    Last edited by francesthecat; 09-12-2015 at 08:13.

  2. #132
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    Default Pregnant after miscarriage - thread #3

    Quote Originally Posted by francesthecat View Post
    Good luck Ladies for your scans today 💗 Sally & Hollygo lightly
    Its such a stressful time.

    Best wishes for your BT Gampa too, I had many in this pregnancy just to see what was happening. I also got a request for a scan at 5.5 weeks from my GP. The radilogist said it was a tad early but we could see the start, and it keep me sane until a viability scan at 7 weeks.

    This stress is endless, I had a trace done yesterday all had been fine. No it's showing a heart a rhymia ?? So back there again today, if there is an issue out she comes. I have not even packed my hospital bag, the clothes aren't washed. It's too early, I don't want to go back to that hospital to have another baby who can't come home.
    So I got myself into gear got our bags packed just in case we have to go..


    Baby dust dust and hugs to us all
    Wow you could be really close. Hope everything is ok and you have a bit more time to bake.

    Don't stress too much about hospital bags. It's not that big a deal if you don't have something - hospitals have all the main things you need and you can always send DH out for things.

    I had so much stuff and didn't really need any of it.

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    francesthecat  (10-12-2015)

  4. #133
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    Good luck today@sally1981

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  6. #134
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    Hi ladies
    I hope all your scans went well today. I have been thinking of you all and keeping my fingers crossed.

    I had a stressful but good day.
    I had my bloods test st 930 and they told me to wait to midday for results. So I cleaned my house from top to toe and Spring cleaned. By 2 pm I was beside myself and thinking that it was bad news and they were waiting for fertility specialist to call (she has been lovely and looking after me even though it's not IVF given our recent loss of twins ) .

    By 340 I couldn't sit still and picking up my eldest from school I was in tears for no reason. I looked at my phone and thee was a message if missed - HCG levels 7187! So that's more than double.

    I am so happy but such a long way to go - I haven't even had an early scan yet.

    My scan is next Thursday week (not tomorrow) . I'm goi g to have to find some way of not getting too anxious. I was beside myself today.

    Anyways hoping to hear positive news from ladies having scans x

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  8. #135
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    Default Pregnant after miscarriage - thread #3

    Great news @Gampa!

    My scan was ok! Measured 4 days ahead and all anatomy was in place.

    They did find a cervical polyp though. Not sure what to think of that. I'm a little worried.

    And @francesthecat you're so close now! I wouldn't worry about the bag. All you really need are maxi pads and pjs anyway
    Last edited by Sally1981; 09-12-2015 at 18:05.

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    francesthecat  (10-12-2015),Gampa  (09-12-2015),Polly6034  (10-12-2015),ScubaGal  (09-12-2015)

  10. #136
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    Default Pregnant after miscarriage - thread #3

    Hi girls- just home from our scan now. All was fine but they called it a growth scan rather than anatomy and just measured, plus charged me extra outside my normal 'package' which includes scans since it was an 'extra' scan. I'm so annoyed, if I had known we were paying for it I would have booked an anatomy scan at the Fetal Medicine Center and had a proper anatomy scan done for the same price. I can't believe they changed it to growth. I feel like nobody knows what's going on, that we've dropped the ball choosing this private midwife led care package rather than a private OB. The sonographer was told to do a growth scan and cervical scan because she thought I had lost my baby at 12 weeks to an incompetent cervix. Wtf?! Why does nobody even seem to know my history and why I'm having extra scans?

    On top of that, the same sonographer had told me she had thought it was most likely a girl at our last scan, not to go out buying anything but that was her thoughts. It's a boy. I had tried not to let myself think it was a girl, just in case, but I had been and now I feel heartbroken that we will never have a living baby girl. I know she wouldn't be our first daughter or a replacement but I've always felt another baby girl would be the tiniest glimpse into what our daughter may have been like. Please don't tell me all that matters is baby's healthy, of course I know that, but right now I need a few days to grieve the baby girl I'll never have. The whole reason we found out was because I knew I would feel this way and wanted to get over it before the birth. I feel so sad that we had the chance to have a girl and she was taken from us and now I'll never have that chance again. Why didn't the sonographer just say 'I don't know' at our last scan?

    Eta: Frances, how did today go?
    Last edited by HollyGolightly81; 10-12-2015 at 00:37.

  11. #137
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    Hi Holly
    I'm so sorry to hear you had a rough day. And yes I can completely sympathise with you when you found out the sex. I have lost all 3 boy pregnancies and have two beautiful girls. But I know what it's like to know you're never going to have a girl (for me a boy) . It's a grief and a loss that's so hard to get used to. I can't give you any advise and I won't patronise you by saying "at least it's healthy" as that may be true but t it's a grief none the less.

    Not sure if you have kids at home already? AII I can say is you can try for another baby IF you want to. I'm sure you know that. My husband desperately wants a boy- and the recent loss of boy twins devastated us. I know this baby which is only 5 weeks is a girl- maternal instinct so i know for sure we won't be having a boy. That's why we went for the 3 Rd child but sometimes to stress I have been thru to even get pregnant is extreme and I don't know why I'm putting myself thru this at times!

    I wish you all the best with this baby . I would give you a hug and have a cuppa tea with you.

    Ps
    How many weeks are you now?

    Pps that's really irritating about the scan and costs. That's just bad Managemnt . Hugs

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  13. #138
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    @HollyGolightly81 I would be freaking ropeable! Are you in a financial position to have an early morph? If so I would demand it. It may not be too late to switch to an OB as well. I'm so sorry it went that way.

    And the good thing about this thread is no one is going to patronise you. Apparently in stillbirth support groups (I haven't summoned up the courage to go to one yet) they dedicate whole sessions to finding out your baby is a different gender. I thought I would be raising two boys. We had a name picked out, I was dreaming about what he would be like. I pictured him in ds1's outfits. I was thinking about how much DS1 would love a little brother and how they would play.

    When I found out this baby is a girl it hit me like a thunderclap. It was like all of a sudden I realised that DS2 was dead and he wasn't coming back. I was not carrying a reincarnation of him. I couldn't name this baby after my dad like ds2 was going have. Those plans I had for my two boy family had died because ds2 is in an urn in my living room instead of in my arms. It sounds stupid but that was the first time the finality of he situation hit me and it really triggered the grief again.

    I don't know if this is how you're feeling, but finding out the gender after a loss is a known trigger point so just feel what you feel xx

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  15. #139
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    Hi Ladies,

    What a stressful day yesterday for us.

    Good news about your scan Sally, bugger about the polyp. I've never had issues with them, so advice from me. Hope your OB can a advise you on, it very soon.
    I did not know about the trigger, of finding out the gender.
    I was a big hysterical mess when I found out I was having another girl.
    Be kind to yourself, one step at a time

    Good news on your beta results Grampa best wishes for your scan next Thursday.

    Holly, as it's been said I would be fuming over what has happened, at your scans. As Sally has said, can you change care options??


    I had my appointment yesterday as well. Good news is no emergency C section booked just yet.
    But she still has the heart issue, FFS! We will now be doing trace every two days plus having a scan at the hospital for well being on Friday, asses from there.
    Plus yet another private $$ scan next Thursday for more growth.
    At least my bag is packed, just my pjs, flip flops and toiletries. A few things for baby, anything else can wait.




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    Gampa  (10-12-2015)

  17. #140
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    Hugs to you all. I have no idea how one embraces a new pregnancy after a loss, much less a stillborn. My loss was very early, and so whilst the first few months I couldn't embrace my new pregnancy, I'm slowly getting there as I enter my third trimester. That's not to say I don't have doubts or fears, nothing is certain until the baby is in my arms - despite having a really good run thus far.

    Anyway I just wanted to wish you guys all the best, you are a brave bunch of women who absolutely deserve a happy healthy pregnancy and birth.

    As for finding out sex, I think you're doing the right thing giving yourself time to grieve before bub arrives. Take your time and don't listen to those that don't think it matters, it does. I think it's an important part of your healing journey, and if you haven't already it's probably a good idea to talk to someone to help you through the process - a doula might be a good place to start if you haven't found medical professionals very supportive in this matter. We didn't know the sex of the baby we lost, and have chosen not to find out this time. I vary between wanting a girl so badly, to embracing the possibility of another boy... And back and forth.

    Best of luck in the coming weeks and I hope that everything gets better and better xx

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