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  1. #51
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    Ps, I asked DS last week who he wanted to invite to his 4th bday party and he only gave me his 6 male friends, he has female friends who he sees fairly regularly. He didn't mention a single one of them.

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    How do you know it was the parents? How do you know it wasn't the child who chose the guests?

    My DS1 only ever played with boys. Ever.
    My DD only ever played with girls, except for one boy at preschool who was quite feminine.
    My DS2 plays with boys and girls equally, and has always invited boys and girls to his parties.

    I didn't go and instill gender differences and inequalities on two of my kids and not the other.

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    Quote Originally Posted by CMF View Post
    How do you know it was the parents? How do you know it wasn't the child who chose the guests?

    My DS1 only ever played with boys. Ever.
    My DD only ever played with girls, except for one boy at preschool who was quite feminine.
    My DS2 plays with boys and girls equally, and has always invited boys and girls to his parties.

    I didn't go and instill gender differences and inequalities on two of my kids and not the other.
    You're right - I don't know. In guesstimating based on: the large class list - I really doubt the 3 year old knew everyone's names let alone said they only wanted to invite all the girls. Maybe I'm judging them based on my own situation? - my ds1 still plays with dolls and doesn't appear to have developed a great awareness of the differences between boys and girls yet.

    I suppose I find it really hard to believe parents when they say they had no influence on their kids gender tendencies. Ever dressed the boy mainly in blue and never in pink? Ever suggested they watch superman instead of Angelina ballerina? Ever dressed your daughter in frills and not your son? Until a child reaches a certain age (5??) I think parents actions (without them realising it) heavily influence their child's preferences.

    3 years old are very impressionable - they will often parrot whatever an adult tells them.

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  5. #54
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    I think it's very likely had some parental input and just another nail in the coffin of ensuring the perpetuation of gender expectations. It wouldn't bother me if either of my children only wanted to invite their own gender to their party. I would suggest some other gender friends to invite but wouldn't make a big deal out if it if they preferred not to include them. I want to encourage mixed gender friendships for as long as possible as I think it's a very healthy experience.

    As for whether you're over thinking it, I saw a great meme the other day that I can't find now that is very applicable. It's along the lines of "if men were having this discussion it would be "a light philiosophical discussion" but when it's women were accused of "over-thinking it".

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    It wouldn't bother me.

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    I find it odd to only invite one gender but each to their own I guess. I wouldn't get worked up about it.

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    what bothers me is to overhear a dad at a playgroup telling his son "you scream like a little girl".

    That's how you build sexism and stereotypes.

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    Quote Originally Posted by ExcuseMyFrench View Post
    what bothers me is to overhear a dad at a playgroup telling his son "you scream like a little girl".

    That's how you build sexism and stereotypes.
    Totally agree. Ever since that "run like a girl" advertisement came out I'm extra careful about these things. If hubby starts to say "ds1 cries like a..." One dirty look from me and he doesn't dare finish the sentence. I. Hubby's defence he is self regulating quite well now.

    I think it all adds up: the clothes, the comments, the advertisements, the same sex party invites for 3 year olds...

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    Default What do you think? Gender based birthday party

    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    Totally agree. Ever since that "run like a girl" advertisement came out I'm extra careful about these things. If hubby starts to say "ds1 cries like a..." One dirty look from me and he doesn't dare finish the sentence. I. Hubby's defence he is self regulating quite well now.

    I think it all adds up: the clothes, the comments, the advertisements, the same sex party invites for 3 year olds...
    I agree but I draw the line at same gender parties
    My best friends are male. Actually my whole bridal party was male!
    However I enjoy having female only outings from time to time.

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    It doesn't bother me either.

    However the other day I was thinking about a boys only party for Ds until I remembered that there are two girls in the class he really gets along with. One is his new Auskick bestie.

    So I'm not sure what I'll do now.


 
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