I can see what you are saying, but if you put a whole group of kids in the park with each other, generally they will play happily enough, especially at the age 3 . The only reason that boys wouldn't want to go to a pink princess party and girl's would want to go to a dump truck party is because we (society) tell them they shouldn't.
I find it really odd at that age to only invite the one gender. My DD has equal boy and girl friends so everyone will be welcome. My DD was invited to a little boy she is friends with at kindys party and she was the only girl there which I found a bit strange.
We have just let DD pick between 5-10 friends of her choice (from daycare or school) depending on the type of party (home or venue).
Apart from a couple of boys she has mostly picked girls, I don't interfere, it's her birthday, her choice (within parameters). This year she chose to have a small princess party at a beauty parlour with 5 little girlfriends with mini manis and facials, last year she had a bigger party at the local bowls club with barefoot bowls with a selection of both boys and girls from her class and the year before a party at home with whatever kids she wanted to invite.
DS is only 3 and hasn't yet had any daycare/ kindy parties we've just had backyard BBQ's with family and friends.
For home parties we invite family/ friends and their kids (regardless of gender).
Also, for us, numbers are limited by necessity to reduce cost and I imagine most families do this too.
I'm sure most families aren't deliberately attempting to social engineer, they are just trying to keep their kids happy by giving them what they want within their means.
He just seems to get on better with boys. Again, nothing we have said or done. He turns 4 at the end of this month.
My point in my pp was that some kids are *naturally* that way (my DS is an example) not 100% of the time, but he prefers 'boyish' stuff.
This year he's made friends with 2 little girls from pre school so I'm assuming they will get an invite to this years party
Whether we think it or not, whether we think it is worthy of discussion or not, our society is still very geared towards gender divide. And I think discussing these things is very interesting!
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