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  1. #31
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    i dont see what the harm is? friends are friends, its not like the girl invited everyone but one kid or something

  2. #32
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    I let DS invite who he wants, last year he just invited 6 boys from pre school as he didn't hang out with any of the girls, this year he's made friends with 2 new little girls so he will probably invite them, either way I don't make a big deal out of it, he has 6 female cousins so he's never going to get a boys only party anyway!

    Next year he starts school that's boys only so I'm assuming he will go to a lot of boys only parties if they don't have sisters or cousins

  3. #33
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    I don't think it's a big deal. I let the boys invite who they like if they have a party. Ds1 invited 6 boys from his class last year and this weekend my big 7 year old is inviting just the boys again. He has as many girl friends as boys but he just wants to invite the boys to do boy stuff 😀

  4. #34
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    When I first realised a heap of kids has been invited and ds1 hadn't I felt a bit hurt for him and ****ed off.

    When I realised only girls had been invited I felt relieved.

    Then, after I had a chance to think about it I felt bewildered - at 3 I don't know what kids have friendship groups based mainly on their gender? It made me think that a lot of gender differences later in life are probably learned behavior - starting with parents telling 3 year olds that they will only have kids of the same sex at their birthday party. After a couple of years of also walking through toy stores that have boys and girls aisles, Nanna buying little Johnny blue clothes and little Jenny pink clothes.... Voila! We end up with 21 year old chicks that like dying their hair blonde, wearing red lip stick and short skirts while out clubbing.... And blokes that like scratching their balls, farting, wolf whistling at the blonde chicks in the short skirts before going home and eating the dinner their mum cooked them. Ok a bit of an over exaggeration but hopefully you get my point.

    What did I do? I ranted to hubby about how I couldn't believe invites to a 3 year olds party could be based on whether a kid has a v@gina or a p$nis. My boy can rock a fairy wand with the best of them. I said I hope the parents don't complain in 15 years when their daughter is disrespected by a male because the gender lines they drew when their child was young contributed to the gender divide later in life. Hubby shrugged it off saying it could be worse - If DS1 was the only kid in the class that wasn't invited. I probably won't do anything else but I reserve the right to think (in the deep dark corners of my mind) the parents are twats

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  6. #35
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    . I said I hope the parents don't complain in 15 years when their daughter is disrespected by a male because the gender lines they drew when their child was young contributed to the gender divide later in life.
    You had me until this line. Than I just lost respect for you.

    Warning... In my experience this won't be the only time this happens and next time it might be a gender party but just you can invite 5 friends type thing.

  7. #36
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    Default What do you think? Gender based birthday party

    Quote Originally Posted by LoveLivesHere View Post
    You had me until this line. Than I just lost respect for you.

    Warning... In my experience this won't be the only time this happens and next time it might be a gender party but just you can invite 5 friends type thing.
    I meant things like expecting their girlfriends to cook them dinner, wolf whistling, calling the girlfriend fat etc.

    I'm not trying to justify women getting assaulted if that's what you're thinking I was trying to do.

    Just wanted to highlight that gender equality starts with inclusiveness at the earliest of ages - parents need to lead by example. Everytime they do something like segregate boys and girls it all contributes to how society looks down the track. So not justifying unacceptable behavior - rather trying to have a stab at one of the many (many) origins of that behavior.

    Hope that is clearer.
    Last edited by VicPark; 05-05-2015 at 18:51.

  8. #37
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    Dd has always had unisex parties but it wouldn't bother me at all.

    They girl might have said they want a pamper party or something feminine. I'm not saying little boys can't do those type of parties though. I agree with what a PO said I'd have more issues if 99% were invited leaving 1 or 2 out.

  9. #38
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    I meant things like expecting their girlfriends to cook them dinner, wolf whistling, calling the girlfriend fat etc.

    I'm not trying to justify women getting assaulted if that's what your thinking I was trying to do.

    Just wanted to highlight that gender equality starts with inclusiveness at the earliest of ages - parents need to lead by example.
    I get that your hurt but you are making a mountain out of a mole hill. Its one birthday party.

    Now if child was never allowed to play with boys/girls well then you would have argument. One off for reasons you don't know.

  10. #39
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    I get that everyone, male or female should be treated equally and it's up to us to break the mould that society has been following all this time.

    For our family, we are not opposed to DS's eg playing with dolls etc, or playing with girls, heck I even put both DS's in floral grobags and 'girly' bonds onesies, they have also both had pink and purple dummies.

    But I think people also need to remember, boys and girls can be different by nature. You get girls who are very girly who don't like playing in the mud, you also get boys who like cars and trucks and 'boyish' colours.

    At the end of the day, it CAN also be up to the child. What if the bday girl only wanted girls there? Also, some parents would feel awkward sending out a bday invite to boys if it were a specifically themed party (fairy princess or whatever). That's not to say that the parents are against boys partaking, but they may feel awkward thinking that they may offend other parents (parents of boys) by sending that out.

    It can come down to so many different factors, even if 90% of us parents want gender equality and teach our kids this from birth, there will always be that 10% who don't agree. The dad's who don't like their boys to play with dolls, the mums who don't like their girls to be tomboys etc.

  11. #40
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    I don't think you should force your kids to invite girls just because you think it's right, I think 3 year old parties are a drop in the ocean and the best way to teach your sons gender equality is to just lead by example

  12. The Following 8 Users Say Thank You to Elijahs Mum For This Useful Post:

    LoveLivesHere  (05-05-2015),Mod-Uniquey  (05-05-2015),Mokeybear  (05-05-2015),MrsSS  (05-05-2015),Rose&Aurelia&Hannah  (05-05-2015),SAgirl  (05-05-2015),snowqu33n  (06-05-2015),VicPark  (05-05-2015)


 
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