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  1. #1
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    Default Friendships for 6 year old boy

    Hi

    I'm new to this site and looking for some advice or perspective from others.

    Our 6 year old boy does not seem to have a 'best friend' in the way our 7 year old daughter has. He seems to float amongst friends at lunchtime. He has not been invited to a birthday party or play date this year.

    He seems happy enough. Enjoys his own company. Mentions other boys names (describing games or stories etc). Sometimes he reads alone / plays alone.

    There are two boys in his class who he seems to play with regularly. They play a chasy game but our son is always 'it'. We have spoken to the teacher, but she feels everything is fine (based on her observation).

    I'm trying to organise play dates but this is hard when I don't know any of the mums (we can't do drop offs and pick ups) and our son hasn't developed any strong friendships.

    Any thoughts would be appreciated.

  2. #2
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    Hi

    I don't have any advice but just wanted to let you know I have the same situation with my DS6. He really desperately wants to have good friends (he had these friendships in daycare) but he hasn't seemed to be able to form them at school. He hasn't been invited to a party this year either. Any play-dates he has have been organised by me and never reciprocated. And organising them is exhausting and depressing for me because we get nothing back. He keeps asking for play dates very weekend as well.

    Sorry I have no advice for you, I just wanted to let you know you are not alone. If your DS doesn't seem concerned then it will be ok. Just try and keep the lines of communication open so he knows he can come to you if it is really bothering him.

    Good luck

  3. #3
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    My daughter was just like that for prep & grade 1, it's not till grade 2 she actually has a group of friends! She would tell me a lot she didn't play with anyone today! She would go in and help the teachers! He will get there took my daughter 2 years!

  4. #4
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    Thank you. Some people have said it's not unusual for boys to play this way. Don't want to make it a big deal for him if it's not, but also don't want to miss any early warning signs of an issue.

    He definitely doesn't lack confidence, and like I said he seems happy enough, so not sure what to make of it all.

    Thinking I might try and get him into a sport or two, to see if this helps. How old is your son, could he join a sport?

    Xx

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    Thanks Joalisha - that gives me hope! xx

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    He's 6 turning 7. Yes we have him in judo which he enjoys and it takes a couple if hours on the weekend. He's not interested in football at all though unfortunately, many of the other boys his age are already playing. He'll get there, my nerves will be shot at the end of it though.....

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    My DS is 9 now. In my experience many boys don't seem to form the moe exclusive "best friend" groups that girls do. My son has never had a bestie for more than a week or two. He always plays with big groups of kids, and moves between groups, depending on what he wants to play. He is very social though, and has been invited to parties etc and never played alone or expressed that he felt lonely at playtime.
    He has strong bonds with his sport team mates though. I think it is very important for kids to be involved in team sport, and it's a "house rule" that they participate in a team sport each term. My DS has played footy and basketball since age 6...its a great way to make friends, learn to share, be fair, a good sport, how to win and lose with grace and keep fit etc.

  8. #8
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    Ds1 has 3 besties, the 4 of them have stuck together like glue for the past 3 years. Him and one other have been friends since daycare at 2yrs old, they are now 7. The 4 of them play footy and basketball and do little athletics together. They do involve other boys though, it's just that the 4 of them are very close. Ds2 is in kindy and already has a bestie too. Both have always made friends easily, Probably depends on how social a child is.

    There is a particular child in ds1's class who doesn't seem to have close friends but has taken a liking to ds. His mum has asked about a play over a few times in which we have had and they get along just fine. This boy is just a bit quiet and shy I think and needs a bit of a push to make friends.
    Last edited by Blessedwith3boys; 03-05-2015 at 23:29.

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    Kaybaby - great advice, I completely agree in the value that sport brings. Last year he did auskick. This year we will enrol him in a few other sports .

    Naboo - I hear what you are saying!! x

    Blessedwiththreeboys - sounds like your boys handle their friendships well (in terms of fair inclusion of others). I'm still wary of the friendship DS has formed with two others, as it sounds like they may be taunting him a little.

    In any case, DS is a happy, confident little boy and looks forward to going to school. Guess I should be thankful for this and give him time 😊

  10. #10
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    I have 6 year old twin boys and one of them sounds like your son, op.
    it's hard to see them try to fit in but not quite make it. They had their first auskick session on Friday and when everyone was told to find a partner, ds2 was left standing alone. That in itself is heartbreaking.
    So I can understand your concern, unfortunately I don't have any answers.


 

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